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Author Topic: I need some advice.  (Read 1808 times)
R2D2
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« on: June 16, 2012, 07:51:37 pm »
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Pre-note: I hope this thread won't end up like the other thread.



So I've been in a relationship with the same girl for two years total (albeit with a few months of being broken up in between) and I find myself growing more...short-fused with her. Like, she'll say to me how she hates everyone and wants to kill everyone, but then 5 minutes later she'll complain about how she has no friends. Plus she constantly breaks promises to me and it's just...I dunno. I'm on the brink, I guess.

On top of that, I think I'm starting to fall for my best friend.



^ her.

But I don't know what to do.

I don't want to end my relationship of two years solely on the premise of I might possibly have a chance of being with the girl I want to be with.

I don't know how Sarah (my best friend) feels about me. On more than one occasion, I've held her in my arms while listening to cheesy music and it just felt right. She didn't complain. Some stranger once told us to get a room cuz I was holding her in a Dunkin Donuts parking lot at night because he almost ran us over with his car.

So I don't know what to do.

Do I end my relationship of two years to potentially be rejected by the only other person I want to be with? Or do I stay in my relationship and try to make it work?

All answers are appreciated. Thanks.
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SJoyce
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« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2012, 08:21:44 pm »
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Just dump her, ask out Sarah, see how it goes from there. If it doesn't work, eh, you've rid yourself of someone you didn't want to date. If it does, then yay, everything's happy and whatnot.
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Sibboleth
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« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2012, 08:21:57 pm »
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Here's some advice. It's very good advice and I think you'll thank me for it eventually.

Don't ask for advice here.
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benconstine
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« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2012, 08:35:18 pm »
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Don't ask for advice here.

Rarely were truer words spoken.
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« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2012, 08:37:02 pm »
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If this is even coming to mind, the relationship you're in now is better off ending. End it beforehand in the least dramatic way you can that won't end the chance of staying friends.

And is your best friend the type to try and distance herself from you if she doesn't like you in that way and you ask?

Also you should really remove that pic.
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SJoyce
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« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2012, 08:41:04 pm »
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If this is even coming to mind, the relationship you're in now is better off ending. End it beforehand in the least dramatic way you can that won't end the chance of staying friends.

And is your best friend the type to try and distance herself from you if she doesn't like you in that way and you ask?

Also you should really remove that pic.

It's on his facebook and he already posted it in PAPOY.
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R2D2
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« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2012, 09:31:38 pm »
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Here's some advice. It's very good advice and I think you'll thank me for it eventually.

Don't ask for advice here.

This is the best advice I've gotten thus far.



Update: My girlfriend was/is upset because she thought/thinks I'm gonna dump her cuz I told her we need to reassess our relationship and so I called her and told I wasn't gonna dump her...ever. Ugh I crack when girls start crying.
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Lief 🐋
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« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2012, 09:36:57 pm »
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Here's what you do. Open your phone, find her number, text her the following:

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u + me = over

Then block her number, delete her from Facebook, and avoid her for the rest of your life.

Then, for girl #2, invite her over or go somewhere private, hang out like you usually do, and when the moment feels right, go for the kiss. If she kisses you back, congratulations! If she doesn't, do one of the following:

1) Run away, block her phone number, delete her from Facebook, and avoid her for the rest of your life.
2) Laugh confidently, change the subject, never talk about it again.

Follow my advice, TO THE T, and you will achieve your goals and find happiness.
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« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2012, 11:37:02 pm »
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Here's what you do. Open your phone, find her number, text her the following:

Quote
u + me = over

Then block her number, delete her from Facebook, and avoid her for the rest of your life.

Then, for girl #2, invite her over or go somewhere private, hang out like you usually do, and when the moment feels right, go for the kiss. If she kisses you back, congratulations! If she doesn't, do one of the following:

1) Run away, block her phone number, delete her from Facebook, and avoid her for the rest of your life.
2) Laugh confidently, change the subject, never talk about it again.

Follow my advice, TO THE T, and you will achieve your goals and find happiness.

...

Do not do this.
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Gabriel Cáceres

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« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2012, 11:52:01 pm »
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Listen to Lief. Trust me.
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« Reply #10 on: June 16, 2012, 11:58:40 pm »
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Liefs right, though I wouldn't be as harsh with the current gf.

I hate to burst your bubble, but neither of these girls will be your soulmate. Get out of your current relationship if you aren't enjoying it, regardless of how the Sarah thing goes.
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« Reply #11 on: June 17, 2012, 12:03:51 am »
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Just break up with your current girlfriend and have a talk with Sarah about it.  If she says no, then move on.  I've discussed those feelings with girls I've known and been rejected many times and our relationships were never damaged because of it.
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Gabriel Cáceres

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« Reply #12 on: June 17, 2012, 12:26:17 am »
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Here's some advice. It's very good advice and I think you'll thank me for it eventually.

Don't ask for advice here.

This is the best advice I've gotten thus far.


So why ask us? 
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« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2012, 01:29:52 am »
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I hate to burst your bubble, but neither of these girls will be your soulmate.

It's very likely that you're right, but I don't understand how you can say that with certainty.
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I didn't really read it, tbh.
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« Reply #14 on: June 17, 2012, 01:45:32 am »
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I sent you a PM, mainly because I honestly don't feel like posting my advice in the thread.
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HagridOfTheDeep
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« Reply #15 on: June 17, 2012, 02:15:46 am »
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Since you've already started questioning your relationship, you probably already know the answer. Wink And now that you've started questioning your relationship... I feel like it's probably all downhill from here. From my experience, the more you draw things out with a girlfriend you're uncomfortable with, the more you'll find yourself hating every little thing she does. Then you become bitter and things just turn out bad.

Could be different for you, but I know I felt bitter for a long time... and I wouldn't wanna wish that on anyone.
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« Reply #16 on: June 17, 2012, 03:50:06 am »
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Yeah, staying with someone because you don't want to hurt her by breaking up is not a good idea (although I totally get where that comes from).
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R2D2
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« Reply #17 on: June 17, 2012, 11:06:26 am »
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Okay, update.

My girlfriend called me around midnight last night, crying because she was afraid she was gonna lose me.

Being the pansy I am, I told her I wasn't going to. Ever. I think I'm hanging out with her today.

Meanwhile, Sarah's in New York on a school-sponsored field trip and won't be back until tomorrow night.

But here's the catch:

My girlfriend will be leaving to go on vacation in Costa Rica (without much internet or phone access) for a whole week, starting on June 21st.

So in that time, I plan to spend a lot of time with Sarah and see what develops from that.

Am I at least on the right track?

And Lief, considering the last time I didn't take your advice, I faceplanted worse than a quadriplegic surfboarder, I may (to a lesser degree) take it this time.
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Napoleon
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« Reply #18 on: June 17, 2012, 12:02:54 pm »
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Listen to Lief.
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Yeah, after four years of being a non-disruptive poster on the forum, never considered a troublemaker, even someone who was liked well enough to be elected Atlasian President, Napoleon should be allowed to stay.


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« Reply #19 on: June 17, 2012, 03:51:17 pm »
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Unlike such posters as opebo or Bushie, who may lead you astray, listening to Lief WILL cause you to attain greatness.
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oakvale
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« Reply #20 on: June 17, 2012, 04:29:11 pm »
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While a forum where a good 30% of the members have never so much as kissed a girl and need The Professor to give them dating tips might not be the obvious place to look for help on this, but Lief's advice is more or less the way to go, yeah.

Remember, if you do follow Lief's advice and dump your current girlfriend, there'll be some people who say it's wrong, or even cowardly to do so and then avoid confrontation. That's not true at all - there's nothing wrong with running away from your problems as long as they don't catch up to you. Wink

PS: It's not a lie if you believe it.



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#Grumps
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« Reply #21 on: June 17, 2012, 04:33:00 pm »
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Listen to Lief.Al.

That is all. (No disrespect to my friend, Lief)
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opebo
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« Reply #22 on: June 17, 2012, 05:14:28 pm »
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Lief's advice is superb - within the confines of the advice we are likely to be allowed to give here.  I could give you some advice.
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R2D2
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« Reply #23 on: June 17, 2012, 06:39:42 pm »
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Hung out with my girlfriend today and about every 2 minutes she asked me if I truly loved her. Getting really annoyed with it.
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HagridOfTheDeep
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« Reply #24 on: June 18, 2012, 12:21:06 am »
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called it. :p

Do the right thing.
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