Reid: Bain Investor Told Me That Mitt Romney 'Didn't Pay Any Taxes For 10 Years'

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

I'm gonna need to see the investor on that one, Harry.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Mondale, that's a garbage standard to hold up. I'm not a birther, but I wasn't there to see little Barrie exit his mom's uterus in Hawaii, so I don't know that he's really a natural born citizen.

I don't actually believe he was born in Kenya. So do you really, honestly believe Mitt Romney paid NO TAXES FOR TEN YEARS? Come on.

Obama has provided his long-form birth certificate.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Mondale, that's a garbage standard to hold up. I'm not a birther, but I wasn't there to see little Barrie exit his mom's uterus in Hawaii, so I don't know that he's really a natural born citizen.

I don't actually believe he was born in Kenya. So do you really, honestly believe Mitt Romney paid NO TAXES FOR TEN YEARS? Come on.

Obama has provided his long-form birth certificate.

But you didn't see him at the moment of his birth.

"Ergo, you don't know."

Anyhow, I'm not getting much into this. I got into a dumb argument yesterday where people knew exactly what I meant but were pressing the point anyway. Bottom line: I understand why liberals are pretending they believe Mitt Romney never paid tax. I also understand (or hope) that many of them aren't naive enough to actually believe it.

I'll accept his tax returns as proof he's paid his fair share. He hasn't.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Once Romney releases his tax returns, Reid will gladly prove these allegations.

There you go again.  Nothing original.

Oh, as soon as Romney releases his tax returns we will see he paid no taxes, or we will see he paid a low tax rate, or we will see he was hiding taxes, or we will see he used Ann Romney's tea spoon collection as a tax write off.

You are the ones accusing Romney.  It is up to you and your friend Reid to prove these allegations.  Romney has no obligation whatsoever to give all the hate mongers any information.  Any information Romney releases would be twisted and turned out of all proportion and out of any sense of reality by the hate mongers. 

Romney has nothing to prove to you or Reid.  You are the ones making these unfounded allegations,  So go ahead, give me proof.  Prove it.  I demand proof.  I'm waiting.  Come on, I'm waiting.

The proof is in Mitt Romney's tax returns. We would prove it if he'd release them.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Winfield, could you please wrap your head around the idea that if Romney doesn't give us his tax returns, we can't prove a goddamn thing. I admit that Reid's claim is probably baseless, but you can't just yell "Where's the proof?" at everything we say about his taxes because he's obviously hiding something!

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Winfield, could you please wrap your head around the idea that if Romney doesn't give us his tax returns, we can't prove a goddamn thing. I admit that Reid's claim is probably baseless, but you can't just yell "Where's the proof?" at everything we say about his taxes because he's obviously hiding something!

What you should be able to prove is which ten years you are talking about?

I F[INKS]ING CAN'T! There are no tax returns with which I can prove it, but there is reason to believe that he has used shady financial tactics in the past, most notably the shady financial tactics displayed in the one year he gave us.

There's obviously a reason he hasn't shown them to us, otherwise he would have.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Well, Comrade my friend, you are the one who made the statement that "Mitt can easily prove Reid wrong,"that being the case, therefore, if he can prove Reid wrong, then Mitt's taxes would have to be in order, otherwise, if Mitt's taxes can easily prove Reid right, that would mean that Mitt's taxes would not be in order.

Therefore, what you said, is that Mitt's taxes are in order.

That being the case, we have no need to see Mitt's taxes, as they are in order anyway.

You said so yourself.  Don't blame me for what you said.

 

I dislike you so much.

Mitt can just as easily prove Reid right. There.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Well, Comrade my friend, you are the one who made the statement that "Mitt can easily prove Reid wrong,"that being the case, therefore, if he can prove Reid wrong, then Mitt's taxes would have to be in order, otherwise, if Mitt's taxes can easily prove Reid right, that would mean that Mitt's taxes would not be in order.

Therefore, what you said, is that Mitt's taxes are in order.

That being the case, we have no need to see Mitt's taxes, as they are in order anyway.

You said so yourself.  Don't blame me for what you said.

 

I dislike you so much.

Mitt can just as easily prove Reid right. There.

Ah, Jones, you hurt my feelings.  Don't do this to me. 

OK, then, I dislike your obstinate nitpicking at every goddamn word people say.

We're assuming Mitt's a nice guy, but, given the tactics we know he's used (offshore bank accounts and the like), there is reason to suspect that they might not be all right.