You are seriously misinformed by what Catholics believe. There's nothing wrong with her attending your baptism, and likewise, for funerals, etc. My father's funeral was in the Episcopalian church - and I was heavily involved in the arrangements.
From what I understand the issue isn't so much that I was being baptized in a non-Catholic church but being baptized as an adult after I was as an infant, making it an "invalid sacrament". The Catholic church would be OK with attending the non-Catholic baptism of an adult that was never baptized as a baby.
There should be no denial of Communion, even to Protestants and non-Christians.
I would never take communion at a Catholic church anyway no matter what the rules were. No not because of gays or women's status or whatever but because I am simply not comfortable with the premise of transubstantiation and taking part in it.