The Comedy Goldmine

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Have either of you had a sudden urge to listen to more ZZ Top lately?  I find that I'm listening to more ZZ Top this week than I have in a long time.

[Napoleon]

Krazen proves why I always found him among our best trolls

Hmph. Maybe there is some merit to this idea.

The responses make it even better.

[minionofmidas]

I'm open to gay marriage. Where's my thread?

Where it should be.  Locked in a closet with Marcus Bachmann.

I thought of putting it in sulfur but for that it would have to be more closely based on Nappie.

[opebo]

Pretty soon, people will be opposing gay marriage ironically.

[Goldwater]

"I'm Mitt Romney, and I support common-sense solutions for America that will improve citizens' lives, free up the private sector to create wealth and jobs, and get this country and this economy back on track. And one of those common-sense solutions is to make sure that all Americans who want to marry and make a commitment to the individual he or she loves, and wants to start a family, are able to do so. Families are the building blocks of our society and they are what strengthens our social fabric. And that's why I'm proud to support marriage for all couples.

...

...there, I said it. You think now I'll get to be president in four years? What did we do with all the left over PAC money? Is it still in that Swiss bank that doesn't report to the IRS?"

"Um, Mr. Romney, the camera is still on."

"It is? Well, gosh, just be sure to edit that last part out."

"This is live, sir."

"#$%&!!!"

[Goldwater]

Barry Goldwater never died, he was kidnapped by the KGB and escaped and now posts on Atlas Forum under the name Goldwater. It's the old hide-somewhere-so-obvious-nobody-would-ever-think-of-it trick.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Which one is the better shot.  In this case I'd prefer Palin to either, since I think she'd have a good chance of nailin' the zombies before they could get me.

If it's brains they're after, that woman has nothing to fear from a zombie apocalypse.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

It must be asked. When you told them you voted for Obama, did your parents give you a spanking?

Haha, no.  They were a little disappointed, but I worked it into the conversation so I had already fertilized the soil and planted the seed before it grew.

I like how you plant you seed all over the place.

I'm a pretty good gardener.

[Swedish Rainbow Capitalist Cheese]

I can just imagine Inks waterboarding Bushie.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Not entirely sure, but I'm sure tax cuts and increased military spending would help solve the problem.

[Antonio the Sixth]

What?
SOCIAL CONSERVATIVE is evolving!
...
...
Congratulations! Your SOCIAL CONSERVATIVE evolved into DECENT HUMAN BEING!

[Napoleon]

He seems to belie what my dear old mother used to tell me about Polish people.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

I would hardly call the African American population in the 60's a fraction of the country.

Fractions don't work the way you think fractions work.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

No, homelycooking hasn't updated his map thread in a while.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Of course you can say something new... Not everything has already been written about.

Please tell that to John Grisham.

[opebo]

[Paul Kemp]

[Mehmentum]

There really isn't a point in doing the Democrats.

Why not?

Green: Hillary Clinton
That's why.

[Mechaman]

Out of all the Presidents who could be called Liberal historically, who are the ones who were truly Liberal in their own personal ideology and not just Liberal for political pragmatism? Basically, Presidents who were "true believers" and not just Liberal because it was politically expedient to be.

Presidents who IMO could be called Liberal in today's politcal climate:
-Theodore Roosevelt
-William H. Taft
-Woodrow Wilson
-Franklin D. Roosevelt
-Harry S. Truman
-Dwight D. Eisenhower
-John F. Kennedy
-Lyndon B. Johnson
-Richard M. Nixon
-Gerald Ford
-Jimmy Carter
-Barack Obama

[politicus]

Out of all the Presidents who could be called Liberal historically, who are the ones who were truly Liberal in their own personal ideology and not just Liberal for political pragmatism? Basically, Presidents who were "true believers" and not just Liberal because it was politically expedient to be.

Presidents who IMO could be called Liberal in today's politcal climate:
-Theodore Roosevelt
-William H. Taft
-Woodrow Wilson
-Franklin D. Roosevelt
-Harry S. Truman
-Dwight D. Eisenhower
-John F. Kennedy
-Lyndon B. Johnson
-Richard M. Nixon
-Gerald Ford
-Jimmy Carter
-Barack Obama

LOL. Yes, Taft was a true Librul.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

If nkpatel finds it we're all out of here.

Every time somebody mentions this name, a little kid somewhere is being eaten by a monster.

[Donerail]

Goldwater!

[opebo]

Jesus was slaughtered like a baby lamb, not some squeaky pig.

[Goldwater]

Gov. Simfan34 (R-NY)/Fmr. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R-AL) 391 Electoral Votes
Gov. KenyaObama (T-AR)/Sen. Ted Cruz (T-TX) 134 Electoral Votes
Rep. Mondale84 (D-OR)/Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) 13 Electoral Votes

The Simfan/Rice ticket, with its "leftist Marxist agenda", loses the support of the Tea Party, who then create a new tea party, breaking off from the Republican Party. KenyaObama vows that the Islamic, Kenyan, murdering, Southern hating, socialists shall never again rule the U.S.A. The Democrats pick Representative Mondale as their nominee, who picks Senator Warren as his running mate. With the split within the GOP, it looks like the Dems will have an easy victory. However the Friday before the election, phone calls from Mondale84 campaign headquarters are leaked out, tying him to embezzlement, voter fraud, deals with terrorists, affairs with nine of his secretaries, Jaywalking, DUI, granting violent felons early prison release in Oregon, plots to imprison Inks.LWC when he comes to power, plotting to execute billionaires, and stealing puppies. The country is horrified, and many people, even life long democrats rally around the moderate Simfan/Rice ticket. KenyaObama and Cruz do well among conservatives, while Simfan does well with some conservatives he does extremely well with moderates, and also with liberals. Leaving only Washington D.C. and, for some reason, Minnesota to Mondale.

[World politics is up Schmitt creek]

Context:

Tonight, love wins.