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Negusa Nagast 🚀
Nagas
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« Reply #900 on: April 29, 2013, 10:30:42 PM »

People ought have a direct say in the selection of their representatives? In addition, selection of Senators by state representatives entrenches state senate gerrymanders, leading to further disproportional representation.
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shua
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« Reply #901 on: April 29, 2013, 11:08:32 PM »

People ought have a direct say in the selection of their representatives? In addition, selection of Senators by state representatives entrenches state senate gerrymanders, leading to further disproportional representation.

oh, right. that's hilarious Tongue
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Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook
The Obamanation
Junior Chimp
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« Reply #902 on: April 29, 2013, 11:58:47 PM »

Locking his own thread won't help Snowstalker with girls Sad
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Snowstalker Mk. II
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« Reply #903 on: April 30, 2013, 03:20:26 PM »

Inflicting either on civilians ought to be regarded as a violation of the Geneva Conventions.
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Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook
The Obamanation
Junior Chimp
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« Reply #904 on: May 01, 2013, 07:52:58 PM »

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Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook
The Obamanation
Junior Chimp
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« Reply #905 on: May 02, 2013, 02:04:47 AM »

Just because he comes out as gay, does not mean God hates gays or God hates the NBA.

Actually God may hate the NBA.  After all He allowed one of their franchises to move to Oklahoma. Wink
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traininthedistance
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« Reply #906 on: May 02, 2013, 07:30:09 AM »

I applaud jfmcts' valiant struggle against moderator tyranny. He truly is this forum's version of great civil rights martyr Harvey Milk.
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Lief 🗽
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« Reply #907 on: May 02, 2013, 02:41:34 PM »

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Mechaman
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« Reply #908 on: May 02, 2013, 10:53:54 PM »

Not sure if we have LOL awards, but this post definitely qualifies:

I'll have to avoid the screening rooms.  The floors are gonna be all sticky...
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Antonio the Sixth
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« Reply #909 on: May 02, 2013, 11:04:06 PM »

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Snowstalker Mk. II
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« Reply #910 on: May 03, 2013, 08:51:20 AM »

It’s 1980. President Carter in collusion with the Muslim Brotherhood laughs at a suggestion by Sgt John Everyman, Chief of Getting Things Done, to work on a deal to release the Iranian hostages. Sgt Everyman is disgusted and promises his cancer ridden daughter that he will seek vengeance for Democratic mishandling of the crisis. Luckily, Reagan is elected president in a landslide. Reagan and Everyman were buddies back in ‘Nam so Everyman knows he can trust him.

After saving Reagan’s busty wife Nancy from an attack by Muslims who had poisoned her tarot cards, the two set off to make things right in America battling against Tipp O’Neill, the deadly IRA backed terrorist Democratic chief of the Muslim Overlords Ninja Deadly Assassin League Extreme (M.O.N.D.A.L.E) and Reagan’s estranged son Ron Jr from building a device to block out the sun so it can never be ‘morning in America’ again. Everyman fights back against M.O.N.D.A.L.E’s goons but is heartbroken when O’Neill captures his daughter and gives her treatment for cancer in a public hospital where she will surely die after being injected by the deadly virus SocialAIDS.

Just in time, Reagan bursts in with his new sidekick Gorby, who warns O’Neill of the terrible effect SocialAIDS has had on Russia. Gorby and Reagan free Everyman’s daughter with the help of a local televangelist who was jailed for celebrating Christmas and flee to a private hospital. Everyman disables Ron Jr and then faces O’Neill down in the hospital canteen where after a series of blows, O’Neill drops down dead. Everyman finds on his possession a membership card proving that O’Neil was nothing more than a dirty Muslim Communist. Afterwards, Reagan announces he is stepping down. The whole nation is heartbroken wishing that he could be their President for ever and as a final act of gratitude, Sgt Everyman and his ‘Nam buddies blast an image of Reagan on the side of Mt Rushmore.
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shua
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« Reply #911 on: May 03, 2013, 01:52:51 PM »

Guys, I'm running for Stu. Co reporter, and I want your opinion on the speech that I have written.

Here it is, the first draft.
Quote
You must be logged in to read this quote.

Please post what you think.

Hey, sport. A few years back I ran with Everitt for the office of vice president of Atlasia. We nearly won! Are you excited about my help yet? I have decided to lend you my experience but only if you promise to make the costs for all of the products in the vending machines in the cafeteria divisible by 10 because fuck nickels.

Here is my revised draft of your speech, including actions you need to take.

STAND BEFORE PODIUM, SMILING. SHOW TEETH

Hello and thank you all for taking the time to listen to me right now concerning what I am about to tell you at the present time. If you don't know me, my name is..

SQUINT, LOOK AT YOUR CARDS AND SHUFFLE THEM

...Jackson comma Jerry. I am running for the office of reporter for Student Council. This is an exciting opportunity for me to have extra credentials when I apply for a slightly more upmarket community college. I also am a big fan of reporting and cards, unlike most of us!

PAUSE FOR LAUGHTER. YOU'VE GOT THEM OFF GUARD NOW, GO IN FOR THE KILL

Now, I want to be real with you. That's why I've decided to take off some of my clothes.

TAKE OFF AS MUCH OF YOUR CLOTHES AS IS REQUIRED TO BE TAKEN REALLY

I'd like everyone to be aware as I continue that my nipples are so hard they could cut diamonds. I have no ideas about what to do in this job. I am being honest. I cannot make any promises because I have no idea how much actual leeway in this role I have for setting any sort of policy about anything. This is the student council for fucks sake! What am I going to help do, take the minutes while a couple of blowhards decide what sort of dress code is suitable for the prom? A prom that I will probably not get a date for? No, no, no. All I want is an excuse to not go home for a couple of hours a week. Why?

LOOK DOWN AT YOUR CARDS, COUGH. STICK YOUR BIG TOE INTO THE PIN YOU'VE PLACED IN YOUR $15 DRESS SHOES FROM TARGET, IF YOU ARE STILL WEARING THEM, UNTIL YOU FEEL THE TEARS FLOWING

Because my mom is a nympho, and every time I come home from school she's either riding my Dad, or one of your dads. I can't take it anymore. I'd give my left nut, and bear in mind that's like my favourite one, to not have to put up with that sh**t when I get home.

COUGH, WIPE THE TEARS AWAY WITH A TISSUE. BEFORE THROWING IT AWAY, SNIFF IT AND PUT THAT MILDLY PLEASED LOOK ON YOUR FACE. NOT A FACE THAT SAYS "THIS IS A DELICIOUS RISSOTO!!" JUST ONE THAT SAYS, "THIS IS THE THIRD DAY OF 75 DEGREE WEATHER IN A ROW, HOW NICE" LOOK BACK AT YOUR AUDIENCE. IF THEY TOO ARE CRYING, YOU'VE WON THE VOTE.

Thank you all for your time, and remember: Vote for Jackson! A vote for Jackson is a vote for the children.
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The world will shine with light in our nightmare
Just Passion Through
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« Reply #912 on: May 03, 2013, 07:20:53 PM »

Masturbate on cam and see how long it takes him to hit next.
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morgieb
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« Reply #913 on: May 03, 2013, 10:40:15 PM »

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World politics is up Schmitt creek
Nathan
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« Reply #914 on: May 04, 2013, 04:02:04 AM »

I got TNF's point and agree with him on the thread question, but...

Yes. The purpose of May Day originated in Chicago, after all.

Is Chicago where the mound fairies arrive from on Beltane?
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The world will shine with light in our nightmare
Just Passion Through
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« Reply #915 on: May 04, 2013, 09:49:13 AM »

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=173047.msg3716803#msg3716803

See poll options.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #916 on: May 06, 2013, 03:08:31 PM »

Bump.

What did I tell you Reacticans?  Your party is sinking faster than the RMS Titanic in the middle of the Atlantic.  Your chances of ever winning again are as slim as Jimmy Hoffa being alive.

THis is proof positive that the future belongs to the Democrats and that Obama is the most transformative figure since FDR, only more successful.  When Hillary runs in 2016 it will be the death knell to your corporatist fascist party as she takes all states except Oklahoma, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, and Alabama.  Your Congressional losses will be so staggering people will swear you were the Whig Party and that it's 1852.

So long, Grand Old Ass Party.
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Mopsus
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« Reply #917 on: May 06, 2013, 07:41:47 PM »


Now we'll never find out Bushie's WalkScore. Sad
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King
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« Reply #918 on: May 06, 2013, 08:09:00 PM »

It seems like there *might* be more here than we originally heard about last autumn.

This is the real strategy, everyone: Say it enough times, and the Moderate Heroes will assume there's a story.
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Kitteh
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« Reply #919 on: May 07, 2013, 01:17:44 AM »

I lol'd at Heisenberg (?) Tongue

Easy(er):

President of the USA -  Jimmy Carter
Vice President of the USA -  Walter Mondale
Monarch of the UK and other realms of the Commonwealth -  Queen Liz 2
Prime Minister of the UK - Maggie
President or Premier of Russia or the Soviet Union -  Brezhnev
President of France - Mitterand
Pope of the Catholic Church -  Pope JP2

Somewhat more difficult:

Speaker of the US House of Representatives -  Tip O'Neil
Majority Leader of the US Senate -  Ted Kennedy
Prime Minister of Canada - Rush
Prime Minister of Australia -  Captain Kangaroo

Considerably trickier:

Governor of Massachusetts - Henry Adams VIII
Governor of Illinois - Al Capone
UK Chancellor of the Exchequer - Maastricht
UK Leader of the Opposition - Al
Most recent Best Picture Oscar winner - Little Man Tate
Most recent Nobel Peace Prize laureate - Jimmy Carter

Very tough:

Senior U.S. Senator of Tennessee - Howard Baker
Junior U.S. Senator of Vermont - Jim Jeffords
Leader of the Scottish National Party - Flintheart Glomgold
Most recent Best Supporting Actor Oscar winner - Rob Lowe
Most recent Nobel laureate in Physics - Heisenberg(?)

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Paul Kemp
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« Reply #920 on: May 07, 2013, 08:38:07 AM »

My mother, a 2008 and 2012 Obama voter, has said she prefers Christie or Bush. She dislikes Hillary and Cuomo (she saw him during Hurricane Sandy). Just a tidbit.
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Paul Kemp
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« Reply #921 on: May 07, 2013, 01:14:46 PM »

I would recommend a title change. Update Season VII: "The Golden Corral"
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Snowstalker Mk. II
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« Reply #922 on: May 07, 2013, 01:32:28 PM »

Oakvale returns with a bang:

Nathan and I as roommates sounds like an interesting premise for an IFC sitcom or something.

"Nathan, Atomic Fetus and Savile's Paws are playing a hardcore show tonight, I'm going to smoke a bowl for Jesus and then go. You should come, I'm going to wear a t-shirt of a band from 1987 and set fire to a cop car because The Man."

"For the millionth time, no, I'm in the middle of The Pink Kabuto: Queer Samurai In 13th Century Japan. Besides, I went to Dance Witch Abortion last week like you asked and it was horrible."

"Come on bro you're a bad hipster Christian, I'm going to have to mosh for your soul in da club. Remember that Jesus was a medical marijuana practitioner. If you don't become more scene I don't know if this roommate situation is going to work out."

[Nathan ponders this]

"Yeah, you're right. Jesus did invent the gravity bong... what the hell, I'll get high with you and go to The Show At Da Club."

"Awesome bro I'll get my Ron Paul 2012 crack pipe."

[They hug, audience applaud. Fade out.]

[Fade in. BRTD and a horrified Nathan stand in a dark bar full of people who look like BRTD.]

"BRTD..."

"Isn't it awesome bro? Look at all these scene dudes."

"Is... this a gay bar?"

"WTF no bro. I have never touched another guy's dick."

"There's a flashing neon penis over the bar."

"LOL bro I have one of those in my room. Haven't you ever been to Dudefest?"

[Audience laughs, Nathan and BRTD look at the camera and both shrug, grinning. Credits.]
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They put it to a vote and they just kept lying
20RP12
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« Reply #923 on: May 07, 2013, 02:26:36 PM »

I would recommend a title change. Update Season VII: "The Golden Corral"

Win.
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Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck
HockeyDude
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« Reply #924 on: May 07, 2013, 05:38:39 PM »

Oakvale returns with a bang:

Nathan and I as roommates sounds like an interesting premise for an IFC sitcom or something.

"Nathan, Atomic Fetus and Savile's Paws are playing a hardcore show tonight, I'm going to smoke a bowl for Jesus and then go. You should come, I'm going to wear a t-shirt of a band from 1987 and set fire to a cop car because The Man."

"For the millionth time, no, I'm in the middle of The Pink Kabuto: Queer Samurai In 13th Century Japan. Besides, I went to Dance Witch Abortion last week like you asked and it was horrible."

"Come on bro you're a bad hipster Christian, I'm going to have to mosh for your soul in da club. Remember that Jesus was a medical marijuana practitioner. If you don't become more scene I don't know if this roommate situation is going to work out."

[Nathan ponders this]

"Yeah, you're right. Jesus did invent the gravity bong... what the hell, I'll get high with you and go to The Show At Da Club."

"Awesome bro I'll get my Ron Paul 2012 crack pipe."

[They hug, audience applaud. Fade out.]

[Fade in. BRTD and a horrified Nathan stand in a dark bar full of people who look like BRTD.]

"BRTD..."

"Isn't it awesome bro? Look at all these scene dudes."

"Is... this a gay bar?"

"WTF no bro. I have never touched another guy's dick."

"There's a flashing neon penis over the bar."

"LOL bro I have one of those in my room. Haven't you ever been to Dudefest?"

[Audience laughs, Nathan and BRTD look at the camera and both shrug, grinning. Credits.]

I'm going to go ahead and second this. 
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