The Comedy Goldmine

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

Reality: 538
Ingress: 0

[courts]

oakvale's the only one talking a lick of sense in this thread

No.

[Paul Kemp]

That might be considered really cool if it were actually your job, and your actions actually meant anything whatsoever.  But as it is, it's basically a 21st century version of standing around train stations with a notebook and a thermos.

[Kitteh]

oakvale's the only one talking a lick of sense in this thread

No.

omg he made a snowstalker joke how edgy

(srsly tho this is getting old and overdone)

[Bacon King]

Afterwards, he turned to Tagg and said "Can you believe what I just said about Fatty out there?"

[Antonio the Sixth]

oakvale's the only one talking a lick of sense in this thread

No.

omg he made a snowstalker joke how edgy

(srsly tho this is getting old and overdone)

Regardless of where the joke originates from, that's still a hell of a pun.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

oakvale's the only one talking a lick of sense in this thread

No.

omg he made a snowstalker joke how edgy

(srsly tho this is getting old and overdone)

Regardless of where the joke originates from, that's still a hell of a pun.

Are we supposed to be imagining Progressive Realist levitating?

[Antonio the Sixth]

oakvale's the only one talking a lick of sense in this thread

No.

omg he made a snowstalker joke how edgy

(srsly tho this is getting old and overdone)

Regardless of where the joke originates from, that's still a hell of a pun.

Are we supposed to be imagining Progressive Realist levitating?

That's more or less how I read it, yeah.

[Joe Republic]

Well at least the left wing can circle jerk. I have the feeling all the right wing could muster is a 'Christian Side Hug'

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

Inexplicable need to sing on balconies?

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Well at least the left wing can circle jerk. I have the feeling all the right wing could muster is a 'Christian Side Hug'

F--king nailed it. Sigged.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

When did I say that I hate a group of people? I absolutely don't. Fellow leftists just need to understand that political Islam is awful and oppressive just like political Christianity or capitalism.

If engaging in a fully fledged hate-on for a group of people Who Are Not Like You seems to Make Sense on some level, then it is better to consider why you feel this way and to probe your own biases, assumptions and prejudices (we all have them), than it is to loftily declare that Islam is barbarism or the like.

Okay, Freud.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

CnstuntlCnsrvtv and PolitiJunkie.

Those were the same person

but they fought with each other all the time--hence the comedy.

I'm not sure a comedy sitcom about a schizophrenic would work.

[Antonio the Sixth]

at least it's getting the kids out of their parents' basements and making them walk around outside and interact with human beings face to face

[Antonio the Sixth]

what about a Law and Order style show where the forum is a city and the moderators are its police force and such

"On the US Election Atlas Forum the posters are represented by two separate, yet equally fat things.

The Moderators who investigate socks and Inks who nags and bans the offenders.

 These are their stories."

[/size]

[Ebowed]

Too bad 30 Rock isn't around to do an episode where the show has to sign up for Obamacare.



edited to add wow I really miss 30 Rock

I want this to happen so bad. I'm going to pretend it's happening anyway...

Liz: So Jack, you get your Obamacare yet? *attempts to playfully punch Jack's shoulder*

Jack: Lemon, what have I told you about putting those meaty paws you have for hands on me? This is an office, not the squash court at the Harvard Club.

*Liz awkwardly puts her hands in her pockets*

Jack: And to answer your question, yes, Lemon. Even though it's unconstitutional, even though it goes against free market principles by forcing rich people to follow rules...I have purchased not just any insurance plan, but an insurance plan that is rated Platinum by Healthcare.gov. This plan is so exclusive, you can't even sign up for it without being invited to.

Liz: I thought the whole point of Obamacare was that everyone could sign up...wait, did you get the website to work? I thought no one could get it to work.

Jack: Lemon, I'm Jack Donaghy. I have the cell phone numbers of every CEO of every major health insurance company in America in my contacts list. You don't really expect me to engage in that sort of minutiae myself, do you? I mean that's what I pay Jonathan for...JONATHAN.

*Jonathan runs into Jack's office*

Jonathan: Yes Mr. Donaghy?

Jack: Where is Tracy? He was supposed to be in my office half an hour ago to discuss how his new health insurance was going to figure into the compensation package in his contract.

Jonathan: I'm afraid Mr. Jordan just called. He's going to be a little late. He's been arrested.

Jack: Good God, what happened?

Jonathan: He said he was arrested for a stop-and-frisk.

Liz: See, Jack? I told you those laws unfairly target black men.

*door flies open; Tracy enters the room; Grizz and Dot-Com follow behind*

Jack: Tracy, what is going on? And how did you get out of jail?

Tracy: I had Grizz and Dot-Com bail me out.

*cutaway to courtroom*

Judge: Tracy Jordan, your bail is hereby set at $5,000.

Tracy: Oh, so you think just 'cause I'm a black man you gotta lowball me like I can't afford bail money? Bitch, I got $10 Gs in my underwear!

Judge: Okay, your bail is hereby set at $20,000.

*end of cutaway*

Liz: Wait a minute, what did you get charged with? I thought you were just subjected to a stop-and-frisk.

Dot Com: He stopped a woman on the street and frisked her.

Tracy: She looked suspicious. Who knows what she was hiding under her coat?

Grizz: She was pregnant!

Tracy: We do not know that! It could have been a tiny little Chinese dude pretending to be a fetus so he wouldn't have to pay to ride the subway! You know how stingy those people are!

Jack: Well the point is you're here and we need to get this whole health insurance thing hammered away before contracts come up for renewal.

Tracy: Oh I got that covered Jackie D. Obama's going to mail everyone free iPhones and when you're sick, you just call and a doctor comes and visits you for free. *whispers conspiratorially* But it's only for black people.

Jack: ...who told you that?

Tracy: I'm more up to date on current events than you think. I read it in Newsweek.

*Dot Com holds up a copy of Newsmax Magazine*

Dot Com: Tracy, Newsmax and Newsweek are not the same thing. 

Jack: Oh dear...don't worry, Tracy. From now on, I'm going to have all the TVs in the lobby set to CNBC all the time. It's like Fox News but for people who went to college.

[traininthedistance]

Italophobia is always a good motivation for the Democratic base.

[Leftbehind]

You seem have gotten lost, Darth Plagueis.  This is the good post gallery; your post belongs in the deluge of absurdity, ignorance, and bad posts.  Keep going straight and the deluge should be the first door on your right.  Here's a map in case you get lost again:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=173996.0

[Oakvale]

Good enough to cross-post here as well as the Gallery:

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.


As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.


Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.


Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.


If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.


Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.


Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.


Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.


But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.


Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection.


Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.


With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

[Leftbehind]

Reading this brought tears to my eyes. What a magnificent woman.

[Bacon King]

Reading this brought tears to my eyes. What a magnificent woman.

I don't see how this is funny, let alone comedic gold

[Leftbehind]

Reading this brought tears to my eyes. What a magnificent woman.

I don't see how this is funny, let alone comedic gold

Well it's not intentionally comedic, but I burst out laughing.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Been reading thru old threads on U.S. General now that I'm a mod there now to see if there's anything that needs deleting or moving to another board.  Came across this old gem discussing the post of Senate Majority Leader that displays the perils of making predictions.

Santorum will run after Frist retires (in 2006) and yes the GOP will still have a majority in the Senate.

[Antonio the Sixth]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=181893

[courts]

In China it is common for women to be forced to have abortions and for journalists to be beaten up. A totally unrelated fact is that Boris Johnson likes China.