is pre-marital sex wrong?

[DanielX]

My opinion: pre-marital sex itself isn't wrong, but a lot of what goes along with it is. Also, it has to be done responsibly. Otherwise, you've got a ton of problems.

[PBrunsel]

Yes, a STRONG yes.

[Alcon]

Haha, no.

[YRABNNRM]

No but perception of normal changes from person to person.

[12th Doctor]

Two rules:


1) No one lies.  If you are " buddies" then make that known, don't pretend to be in love to get a girl in bed.

2) Be ready to accept the possible consequences.

Follow those two and everything is legal.

[angus]

Two rules:


1) No one lies.  If you are "f**ck buddies" then make that known, don't pretend to be in love to get a girl in bed.

2) Be ready to accept the possible consequences.

Follow those two and everything is legal.

dude, that is soooo naive.  Chick Lie!!!  How many times have you heard, "oh, no, I understand, I just want to be friends too.  seriously.  no problem." 

I know you aren't that naive!  Sure, we all were young enough to believe that bullsh**t at one time, but grow up.  You ever been stalked?  I mean, seriously stalked. 

I'm telling you, forget about that buddy schtick.  Like dibble said, in principle it's a wonderful idea, but, as far as I can remember, in practice it's a very very very bad idea!

[12th Doctor]

Two rules:


1) No one lies.  If you are "f**ck buddies" then make that known, don't pretend to be in love to get a girl in bed.

2) Be ready to accept the possible consequences.

Follow those two and everything is legal.

dude, that is soooo naive.  Chick Lie!!!  How many times have you heard, "oh, no, I understand, I just want to be friends too.  seriously.  no problem." 

I know you aren't that naive!  Sure, we all were young enough to believe that bullsh**t at one time, but grow up.  You ever been stalked?  I mean, seriously stalked. 

I'm telling you, forget about that f**ckbuddy schtick.  Like dibble said, in principle it's a wonderful idea, but, as far as I can remember, in practice it's a very very very bad idea!

What the Hell are you talking about?  No, I have never been stalked, what does that have to do with anything?

I didn't say I thought it was a wonderful idea, is was just using that as an example.

[angus]

sorry, I really meant no offense.  I might have chosen my words more carefully, but in fact, the buddy system is a wonderful idea.  One I fully supported till I started to realize it wasn't working as planned.  In fact, you will find it to be exactly as many of the posters have suggested.  Somebody gets hurt, and the other one gets scared out of his wits.  Maybe not always, and there may be that one coolest guy on the block that has it all figured out (it ain't me!) but as far as I can tell from my own and others' experiences, it's a shallow, hollow substitute for true lust.

[nclib]

No (or not necessarily).

[Cashcow]

Of course it's not wrong. Sweet Jesus...

By the way, you guys really ought to learn how to bypass the fucking word censors.

[angus]

Of course it's not wrong. Sweet Jesus...

By the way, you guys really ought to learn how to bypass the fucking word censors.

clever boy.

also, apropos of nothing, I learned only minutes ago that a nine-pound man can produce as big a booger as a 158-pound man.

Life is truly a beautiful thing. 

Whatever gods exist have charming senses of humor. 

peace and love.

[dazzleman]

sorry, I really meant no offense.  I might have chosen my words more carefully, but in fact, the f**ckbuddy system is a wonderful idea.  One I fully supported till I started to realize it wasn't working as planned.  In fact, you will find it to be exactly as many of the posters have suggested.  Somebody gets hurt, and the other one gets scared out of his wits.  Maybe not always, and there may be that one coolest guy on the block that has it all figured out (it ain't me!) but as far as I can tell from my own and others' experiences, it's a shallow, hollow substitute for true lust.

I agree that the f**k buddy system is fraught with danger for guys.
First off, women rarely say what they really mean.  When they say it's OK to just be friends, what they really mean is that they'll use that friendship to get whatever it is that they really want, which is usually a relationship.  If that does not materialize, it can get really ugly.  The saying "hell has no fury like a woman scorned" has a lot of truth to it.

Women are generally not drawn to sex for reasons of pure physical pleasure as much as men are.  There's a lot of truth to the saying "men use love to get sex; women use sex to get love."  And if you're dealing with the type of woman who sleeps around purely for physical pleasure, then you really need to watch out for your physical health.

The issue of premarital sex is not black and white.  Today, for a variety of reasons, people are not ready to marry until many years after reaching physical maturity.  At the same time, inappropriate and reckless sex is the cause of a large percentage of society's problems.

It has always amazed me when people will have a child with a person, but then say that's not the right person to marry.  Children are more permanent than marriage, and that mentality is what leads to so many of society's problems with poverty, crime, bad education, etc.

Sex is a lot like fire and water.  If you control it, and use it right, it brings great benefits to your life.  But if it controls you, it will bring untold misery and destruction.

[angus]

and neither hell nor scorned women have fury like a man-child awakened.

But frank sinatra's soothing voice seems to soothe the savage beast!

[12th Doctor]

sorry, I really meant no offense.  I might have chosen my words more carefully, but in fact, the f**ckbuddy system is a wonderful idea.  One I fully supported till I started to realize it wasn't working as planned.  In fact, you will find it to be exactly as many of the posters have suggested.  Somebody gets hurt, and the other one gets scared out of his wits.  Maybe not always, and there may be that one coolest guy on the block that has it all figured out (it ain't me!) but as far as I can tell from my own and others' experiences, it's a shallow, hollow substitute for true lust.

Personally, I have never tried it myself.  I am now fully convinced that women simply don't find me attractive.  They think I'm a "nice guy" and a "great friend", but none of those that I know seem to be in the least bit interested in me... and I have learned that it is just better not to make a serious try, as it only alienates people I would rather have as freinds then not at all.

[PBrunsel]

Some say sex is "fun", but so is driving a car. A 13-year old would probably find it somewhat fun to drive a car, but just because it's "fun" is it safe? No. To allow a 13-year old to drive a car is stupidity and a laughable matter by some. Yet some here belive that just because sexual relations are "fun" then it is not dangerous to have them out of marriage. Just as a 13-year old should not be allowed to drive a car because it is dangerous, so is having sex out of marriage.

Secondly, We like to determine what is right and wrong, according to what we want. That's human nature. If we want to have sex with someone, we want to set our own standards. Often our standards are, if they're not married, then ok. But what if the other person is put at risk for a sexually transmitted disease? This idea of "if it feels good, do it" is not a new idea, but has been around since Adam and Eve. Has God [who created sexual attraction] attempted to make our lives "boring" because we can't have a sexual relation whenever we damn want to, no. It is common sense that simply having sex for the fun of it is a dangerous way too:

1. Spread STD's

2. Too probably impregnate a women [as condoms only work 20 percent of the time] and then give her the choice of abortion, adoption, or keeping the kid, and all may be unwanted ideas for any woman.

We live in a society where we think that we can have what we want at any moment. Wee are enthralled with ourselves and we are enthralled with getting anything and not thinking of the consciquences. We are being irresponcible when we have sex out of marraige and we are simply creating more problems for society.

Sex is a deeply mystical, metaphysical thing, and designed by God to be so. To have sex with a person is to literally become "one flesh" with them (Matt 19:5-6, 1 Cor 6:12-20) - not just physically, but spiritually as well. So sex profoundly unifies people. The best way of unifying lovers [and legal way] is through marriage.

Well, there's my two-cents.

[Akno21]

0_0

Sad, but true.  We've all been there.


Closing time
Open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time
Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every
girl
Closing time
One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or
beer
Closing time
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here

I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home

Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from
Closing time
This room won't be open till your brothers or your
sisters come
So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend
Closing time
Every new beginning comes from some other
beginning's end

I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home

Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from

Great song.

I don't think it's wrong. It's not wise, but really, who cares?

[TheWildCard]

Just something to think of with the  buddy system and loose people in general. If you have Sex with them you'll be getting the residue of all the other people they've slept with... Now personally that is just a bit disturbing.

Sex is like a drink. A little here a little there is good but its not a good idea to go on drinking binges. I agree with Keystone and PB that its best not to have sex unless you plan on staying with that person. But, thats my opinion. I also feel that what goes on between two consenting adults behind closed doors is none of my business.

[Nym90]

I'm certainly not advocating "if it feels good, do it". What I personally said was "if it doesn't hurt anyone else, it's not wrong". I don't see how that doesn't make sense. It's a sin to hurt other people. Obviously you have to take responsibility for your actions. If you are willing to take responsibility for your actions (which would be part of not hurting others, as failure to take responsibility hurts other people) then it isn't wrong.

And condoms don't fail 80% of the time; I'd be interested in knowing where you got that statistic from.

You are absolutely right, Pbrunsel, about some of the potential dangers of premaritial sex. I absolutely agree with you. There needs to be better education, certainly. But if people know the facts about it, and both consent to still engaging in it, it's their choice. Premaritial sex is not wrong unless it hurts someone else in some way.

[dazzleman]

Premaritial sex is not wrong unless it hurts someone else in some way.

This is true as long as good judgment is used.

Too many people today hurt a third party - a child - through inappropriate sex.  Children that are raised by parents who are married to each other, and love each other, turn out much better, in general, than those who are the product of a casual sexual relationship.

Society has gone too far in cheapening sex, in my opinion.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

1) No one lies.  If you are "f**ck buddies" then make that known, don't pretend to be in love to get a girl in bed.

ha, I've said "I love you" to a girl in bed many times not really meaning it and she knew exactly that. And girls have done the same thing to me.

oh and josh, how do you explain dinosaurs?

[Nym90]

Premaritial sex is not wrong unless it hurts someone else in some way.

This is true as long as good judgment is used.

Too many people today hurt a third party - a child - through inappropriate sex. Children that are raised by parents who are married to each other, and love each other, turn out much better, in general, than those who are the product of a casual sexual relationship.

Society has gone too far in cheapening sex, in my opinion.

I agree. It's very important to teach responsibility about sex. It has to come from parents, too; schools can do some, but parental education is the best way to do it.

[Keystone Phil]

1) No one lies.  If you are "f**ck buddies" then make that known, don't pretend to be in love to get a girl in bed.

ha, I've said "I love you" to a girl in bed many times not really meaning it and she knew exactly that. And girls have done the same thing to me.

Here's a guy who spends most of his time on the forum talking about his "sex life." Pretty pathetic.

[patrick1]

I don't think it is per se- it is usually fraught with more danger and pitfalls than married sex though.   People that decry those who engage in premarital sex as sinners and immoral people are far worse.  Sex is a natural human desire and appetite.  I just turned 27 and am unmarried-  To expect someone to remain abstinant for that long is absurd and unhealthy.  If everyone adhered to this no sex before marriage there would certainly be more Charles Whitman types picking off people with high powered rifles.

[The Duke]

Two rules:


1) No one lies.  If you are "f**ck buddies" then make that known, don't pretend to be in love to get a girl in bed.

2) Be ready to accept the possible consequences.

Follow those two and everything is legal.

dude, that is soooo naive.  Chick Lie!!!  How many times have you heard, "oh, no, I understand, I just want to be friends too.  seriously.  no problem." 

I know you aren't that naive!  Sure, we all were young enough to believe that bullsh**t at one time, but grow up.  You ever been stalked?  I mean, seriously stalked. 

I'm telling you, forget about that f**ckbuddy schtick.  Like dibble said, in principle it's a wonderful idea, but, as far as I can remember, in practice it's a very very very bad idea!

Ahem, that was me not Dibble.  I am the wise one, who sees the danger of the buddy.  My Kung Fu is strong.

[??????????]

My question to all you young men here is. Would you marry a woman who has had 12 partners before you? I mean if she is doing them left and right having two boyfriends at the same time, would you trust her once you got married? I vote on that, hands down no.