Indy Texas
independentTX
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Posts: 12,269
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E: 0.52, S: -3.48
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« on: January 24, 2013, 07:06:16 PM » |
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The 2016 RNC could be held in a small city in northern Alaska. Electricity would be obtained solely from petroleum-powered turbines using crude oil obtained from environmentally sensitive areas. Attendees would each be given a rental Hummer to use as their personal conveyance during the convention (and once inside, they can avoid walking by riding around on motorized scooters equipped with extra-large cupholders and handgun holsters).
The ceremonies would open with a bald eagle holding fireworks in its talons flying around the room and pecking to death an effigy of President Obama while the Romney children and grandchildren sing the Battle Hymn of the Republic to the sound of a 21-assault-weapon salute. The closing night would culminate in sacrificial offerings being made to a Ronald Reagan shrine, including uncooked bacon, gold specie coinage and well-worn copies of Atlas Shrugged. Because, America.
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