BACON KINGMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAW: The Law Office of Kingman-Oakvale and Associates

[Bacon King]

Welcome to the law office of Bacon Kingman, Attorney at Law!

Bacon Kingman is among the foremost attorneys in Atlasia, and has had plentiful experiences managing lawsuits and abusing loopholes throughout his illustrious career. The firm of Bacon Kingman, Attorney at Law, specializes in the following:

• Election disputes
• Electoral law
• Constitutional law
• Senate OSPR management
• Personal injury
• Loopholes of all shapes and sizes!

If you, or someone you know, may be in need of these services, do not hesitate to call 1-555-BACON-LAW today to schedule your free consultation! At the Law Offices of Bacon Kingman, Attorney at Law, we do not discriminate on age, gender, sexual orientation, partisan affiliation, political ideology, or pretty much anything else. If you're in a bind, and need to get yourself out, Bacon Kingman probably has a loophole waiting, just for you! We accept cases on all legal issues and we are also available for consultation on legislative procedure.

Rates available upon request. Services available to all who need it- pro bono work available when financial hardship is adequately demonstrated.



Bacon Kingman: Attorney at Law is on the case!

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT KINGMAN-OAKVALE AND ASSOCIATES

I recognize you as a lawful attorney

I don't see how BK could lose this case

I just now looked at his election claim. It's ridiculous.

+ 50 to Bacon Kingman

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Never change, Bacon King. Never change.

I am very pleased with the quality of consultation done by this firm.

Thanks for saving me a bit of time.

a cabal of soulless, money-grubbing jackals

Keep up the great work!

[Bacon King]

MEET THE FIRM!

BACON KINGMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAW
Founder and Senior Partner of Kingman-Oakvale & Associates

OAKVALE
Partner of Kingman-Oakvale & Associates

Associate Attorneys
Fuzzybigfoot
Franzl
Benconstine
Mr. X
Nix

Legal Specialists
Snowball: Religious Freedom; Freedom of Expression limitations

Paralegals
wolfentoad

HIRING TODAY! Please PM a brief resume of legal experience for most expedited processing.

[Adam Griffin]

This Baking Kingman sounds like a horrible person. I certainly hope that he doesn't continue to read the laws on the books.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

+ 50 to Bacon Kingman

[Bacon King]

OFFICIAL NOTICE FROM THE OFFICE OF BACON KINGMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAW

The Law Offices of Bacon Kingman: Attorney At Law will be closed until Saturday on account of the Thanksgiving holiday. If you leave a message with my secretary I shall respond as soon as I return!

[Bacon King]

After the holiday break, Bacon Kingman: Attorney At Law is back and READY FOR LAW

[Zanas]

Hello dear Mr BaconKingman,

I would like to ask you what would be the best mean to achieve the result of effectively separating churches and state. I feel like we shouldn't have to have an official state religion, that all religions should be treated equally by the government, i.e : with indifference. We should be able to swear in offices with any religious or unreligious oath.

What would it need legally ? An amendment to the Constitution ? Who should I turn to to introduce such a procedure ?

Thank you for your advice, your price will be mine.

[Bacon King]

Hello dear Mr BaconKingman,

I would like to ask you what would be the best mean to achieve the result of effectively separating churches and state. I feel like we shouldn't have to have an official state religion, that all religions should be treated equally by the government, i.e : with indifference. We should be able to swear in offices with any religious or unreligious oath.

What would it need legally ? An amendment to the Constitution ? Who should I turn to to introduce such a procedure ?

Thank you for your advice, your price will be mine.

Sorry, just saw this! I'll take a look at it when I'm done with the stuff I'm doing now

[Bacon King]

IMPORTANT NEWS FROM BACON KINGMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAW

• Due to extremely heavy work-load, OAKVALE has been hired by the firm as BACON KINGMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAW's first partner.
  
  
• We are currently in the process of building an UNPRECEDENTED CASE that will SHOCK ATLASIA'S LEGAL CIRCLES AT THE CORE for our client, Mr. Yelnoc. Details to be announced shortly!

[Bacon King]

Hello dear Mr BaconKingman,

I would like to ask you what would be the best mean to achieve the result of effectively separating churches and state. I feel like we shouldn't have to have an official state religion, that all religions should be treated equally by the government, i.e : with indifference. We should be able to swear in offices with any religious or unreligious oath.

What would it need legally ? An amendment to the Constitution ? Who should I turn to to introduce such a procedure ?

Thank you for your advice, your price will be mine.

Thank you for the wait! Religious freedom, and the prohibition of the establishment of any official state religion, is already included in the Constitution.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

This also applies to regional governments:

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Therefore, this is already the law of the land, and no action on your part is needed.

[Bacon King]

BACON KINGMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAW

While my client's case in Yelnoc v. Napoleon was unfortunately unsuccessful, we have nevertheless succeeded in demonstrating that tort law is entirely enforceable in the Southeast when a legitimate claim is presented. Those who wish to slander or frivolously attack residents of my region, BEWARE!

[Bacon King]

KINGMAN-OAKVALE AND ASSOCIATES would like to announce that we have now hired WOLFENTOAD as a paralegal.

[Talleyrand]

I am very pleased with the quality of consultation done by this firm. I will definitely hire Mr. Kingman or one of his associates again if I require any services. I wish them the best of luck in the future!

[Bacon King]

OFFICIAL NOTICE FROM BACON KINGMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAW, SENIOR PARTNER AT KINGMAN-OAKVALE AND ASSOCIATES

The first post in the thread has now been updated with awesome comments people have made about the firm- check 'em out!

[John Dibble]

Having dealt with Mr. Kingman in my courtroom I can only assess him and his firm as a cabal of soulless, money-grubbing jackals who make even the most experienced ambulance chasers look like saints. They are fine examples of what citizens of the Imperial Dominion of the South should strive to be.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

John Dibble is a hideous hermaphroditical character, which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman.

[John Dibble]

John Dibble is a hideous hermaphroditical character, which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman.

Projecting your own flaws onto others won't solve your problems. It's not my fault that your parents were mutant hobos that thought you unfit to be sold to a band of deformed gypsies. Please crawl back under your bridge so the rest of us don't have to look at you.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

John Dibble is a hideous hermaphroditical character, which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman.

Projecting your own flaws onto others won't solve your problems. It's not my fault that your parents were mutant hobos that thought you unfit to be sold to a band of deformed gypsies. Please crawl back under your bridge so the rest of us don't have to look at you.

Well, I must give you came up with something original rather than quoting Republican pamphlets from 1800.

[Bacon King]

BREAKING NEWS

BACON KINGMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAW has been appointed as special prosecutor by the President for a landmark treason case!

[Bacon King]

BREAKING NEWS

In light of the Ben Kenobi's reaffirmation of the supremacy of Federal law, BACON KINGMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAW believes no criminal action is warranted and thus shall not file any case with the Supreme Court. BACON KINGMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAW hereby resigns as Special Prosecutor, effective immediately (and also thanks the President for the new title he gets to add to his resume).

[Franzl]

I just want to say that you are doing Atlasia a great service with your questionable law suits. You are so dedicated that you even took a beating in the interest of justice. Keep up the great work!

[Wisconsin+17]

Bacon King, you are hereby served with a subpoena to appear in the case of Ben Kenobi vs the IDS, Bacon King and the Labour Party of Atlasia.

[Bacon King]

Bacon King, you are hereby served with a subpoena to appear in the case of Ben Kenobi vs the IDS, Bacon King and the Labour Party of Atlasia.

Please specify the judicial official that has issued this "subpoena"

[Wisconsin+17]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

You've now been served. Thanks Bacon King.

[Fuzzybigfoot]

Can i haz job?