Bushie: The Final Frontier - Update Season V

[Mr. Morden]

Jeff, you forgot your disclaimer in the first post...

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

This is perhaps the funniest post you've ever written. 

[Mr. Morden]

I do not eat salad other than taco salad.

You don't eat salad other than taco salad?  Do you not like lettuce and carrots?

[Mr. Morden]

My standard salad is just lettuce, carrots, grated cheese, and dressing.  If you don't like tomatoes, you don't have to include them!

[Mr. Morden]

Guys, I haven't given up.  I am still working out 6 nights a week.  If I'm working out with the Wii, I'm doing light exercises while watching TV.  I'm eating mostly healthier food.  Yes, I do splurge every now and then, but I believe meals are supposed to be enjoyable times, not boring and mundane.  Also, I don't like a lot of vegetables especially the ones mentioned earlier.  I hate broccoli, brussell sprouts, asparagus, cauliflower, spinach, among other things.  I do not eat salad other than taco salad.  Finding things that are healthy that I actually like and enjoy is a bit challenging.

You know what's more challenging than finding healthy food that you like? Finding a reasonably priced funeral home for your son.  If you aren't going to do it for you, at least do it for your family.

Trolling. 

You're lucky that Inks is taking a leave of absence this month, or he would infract you for that.  Yes, Inks would even infract you, Inks.  He doesn't play favorites.

[Mr. Morden]

And I still don't get why you have such trouble telling the truth. Does that character flaw in you bother you at all?

I'm still a bit unclear on the motive for lying as well.  What exactly does Bushie expect to happen that's so bad if he tells us the truth?  That's we'll criticize him?  If he's that thin-skinned, why make a thread like this?

[Mr. Morden]

How much can juice possibly cost?

[Mr. Morden]

Bear in mind, I have never been to the midwest, so perhaps I am the one out of touch.

Oklahoma is the "Midwest"?

[Mr. Morden]

Maybe he can gamble away his computer...

That would be quite the surrealist ending to the Update Saga.  BushOK finds himself in a downward spiral, and loses everything, eventually even his computer.  Without his computer, he's unable to log in to Atlas to finish the narrative, and his ultimate fate is left up to the viewer's imagination.

[Mr. Morden]

This is the only thing that makes any sense. His story he is telling us is merely made up to save face. Eventually, he will come clean. He always does. It will just take a few days.

That's right, and when he does come clean, he always treats his untruths/mistakes as no big deal.  Like, "Oh, yes, I made this huge blunder.  But I have nothing to learn from that.  It wasn't really a big deal, and it's all in the past now."

[Mr. Morden]

Just thought I'd reiterate this:

This is the only thing that makes any sense. His story he is telling us is merely made up to save face. Eventually, he will come clean. He always does. It will just take a few days.

That's right, and when he does come clean, he always treats his untruths/mistakes as no big deal.  Like, "Oh, yes, I made this huge blunder.  But I have nothing to learn from that.  It wasn't really a big deal, and it's all in the past now."

While he hasn't actually admitted to lying in this case, the underlying pattern is the same.  When people confront him with the force of logic about what a mistake he's making, he proceeds anyway, and then we get to the stage that we're at now, where his defense is "Well, it's in the past now.  I can't change it.  I've moved back to Oklahoma, and what's done is done, so stop wasting your breath."

He'll of course keep doing this.  Next time he explains a poor decision, we'll explain why it's wrong, and then he'll say "I've made up my mind.  You're not going to convince me that this is a mistake."  And then he'll make the decision, it'll become obvious that it was a mistake, and his response will be "What's done is done.  I can't change it now."

[Mr. Morden]

I do plan on looking really heavy next week.

I think you can avoid that depending on whether you wear horizontal or vertical stripes, but I can never remember which of them makes you look more heavy.

[Mr. Morden]

Someone should do a commentary track on each of Bushie's posts in the Update thread, with their own personal theories about what really happened, or what he's really trying to say.  Like:

Let's be clear.  I did not want [wanted] to come back to Oklahoma and I was prepared to suspend the job search for the next 12-18 months and[never going to] continue on with the status quo.  I enjoyed my job in Utah [except for the fact that they didn't give me a raise for breathing] and I worked for the best boss anybody could ever ask for [until he fired me].

OK, that one was rather clunky, but you get the idea.

[Mr. Morden]

Monday morning he also needs to get down to the food stamp office. He should be able to get about $100/month in free groceries. And he can't use that for fast food or buffets

Didn't he say at one point that he didn't want to take government assistance?  Not willing to take $ from the government, but willing to take $ from his parents?

[Mr. Morden]

Monday morning he also needs to get down to the food stamp office. He should be able to get about $100/month in free groceries. And he can't use that for fast food or buffets

Didn't he say at one point that he didn't want to take government assistance?  Not willing to take $ from the government, but willing to take $ from his parents?

He built the roads from Utah to Oklahoma (via California) himself?  I doubt very much he went to private schools? And so forth. Even disregarding all that, he is in no position to be prideful. And he's lucky he's not living under a bridge.

Right.  My post was not meant as a prescription.  More as a request for someone to jog my memory about what form of government assistance Bushie previously said he didn't want to take.  From using the Google to search through Update past, looks like he's OK with unemployment benefits:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=109091.msg2835502#msg2835502

But I swear there was some point in the past where someone asked him if he was going to apply for food stamps or Medicaid or something, and he said that he was "too proud" to do so.  (But apparently not too proud to take money from his parents!)  Anyone else remember this, or am I hallucinating?  Bushie, forgive me if that was just a product of my imagination!

[Mr. Morden]

Monday morning he also needs to get down to the food stamp office. He should be able to get about $100/month in free groceries. And he can't use that for fast food or buffets

Didn't he say at one point that he didn't want to take government assistance?  Not willing to take $ from the government, but willing to take $ from his parents?

He built the roads from Utah to Oklahoma (via California) himself?  I doubt very much he went to private schools? And so forth. Even disregarding all that, he is in no position to be prideful. And he's lucky he's not living under a bridge.

Right.  My post was not meant as a prescription.  More as a request for someone to jog my memory about what form of government assistance Bushie previously said he didn't want to take.  From using the Google to search through Update past, looks like he's OK with unemployment benefits:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=109091.msg2835502#msg2835502

But I swear there was some point in the past where someone asked him if he was going to apply for food stamps or Medicaid or something, and he said that he was "too proud" to do so.  (But apparently not too proud to take money from his parents!)  Anyone else remember this, or am I hallucinating?  Bushie, forgive me if that was just a product of my imagination!

No, no you understand correctly.

Understand what correctly?  That until now, you've refused government aid on principle?

[Mr. Morden]

So, all of Bushie's family works for the goverfnment, either directly or indirectly? There's the key difference. Hope the sequester doesn't make them all homeless. If so, maybe they're know what "smaller government" means for them in the future.

I'm more concerned about my brother being still in Active Duty Navy.  He only has 16 months until retirement, but we're concerned that the sequester and coming military cuts will force him out of the Navy prematurely and thus cost him his retirement and get nothing in return for nearly 20 years of service.  I don't think Congress would be that cruel, but you never know, they care more about themselves than our military.

Or maybe they care about our budget?

I seriously doubt they care an iota about the budget any further than their re-election depends on it.  There are a few exceptions to the rule, though, but very few.

Aren't you the guy who, in virtually every presidential election, says that he "likes both candidates"?  When did you suddenly become cynical about political motives?

[Mr. Morden]

Last week one day, I applied to seven jobs online in less than two hours. Just saying...

What kind of jobs could you 'apply for' online?  Couldn't be a real job, surely.

It's the 21st century, not the 19th.

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie seriously gave out his SSN on here because he was too lazy to fill out an online application? Wow. And this is a 30 year-old man? Amazing stuff.

This is the same guy who quit his job because he got an offer from a fake company in New Zealand.  Sharing your SSN hardly tops that. 

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, out of curiosity, other than the fake New Zealand company, have you ever responded to any scam emails, like the Nigerian 419 scams, or other such things?  Have you ever responded to an email written in all caps?

Also, https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=100092.0

[Mr. Morden]

I feel like Update has an interesting meta-story with regard to the reactions of the "audience".  Bushie himself hasn't really changed since the early days, but the audience's reactions have.

While folks here mocked Bushie's nonsense just as much in the early days, the tone has changed, and kind of gotten darker.  There's now an enhanced appreciation for how much he says is untrue, in a way that there wasn't early on.  And more recently, even while people are dispensing advice, they're simultaneously lamenting the fact that he's a lost cause, and that they're surely wasting their breath.  People are far more likely to dig the knife in with Bushie, noting that he's never going to change, and chastising him not just for being lazy and gullible, but for having a kind of parasitic relationship with his parents.

The tone has gotten much sharper ever since he announced that he was moving back in with his parents because his father told him to.  Bushie's also having a harder time directing the conversation where he wants it to go.  Other posters want to let him have it on his screwups well beyond the point at which he wants to redirect things to another topic, in a way that wasn't happening as much in the early seasons.

I'm not saying that these reactions are *undeserved*.  A man can't expect to post the same nonsense for years on end without getting this kind of backlash.  I just think it's interesting.

[Mr. Morden]

Otherwise it's just a masturbatory exercise for attention.

I think you've got it.

EDIT: My favorite Bushie excuse from years past, haven't heard it in a while though, is when someone really lets him have it over his behavior, and Bushie responds by saying something like "Why do you care so much what I do?", and then the accuser responds with "Well if you don't want us to tell it like it is, then why are you posting in this thread?", and he responds with "I'm beginning to ask myself the same question."

[Mr. Morden]

  We are fortunate we haven't lost service completely.

Imagine the horror!

He'd have to... gosh, I don't know if I can even type this... I'm trembling just thinking about it.  He'd have to eat... his TV dinner... watching BROADCAST TV CHANNELS!

Given that he has no moral qualms about things like selling his father fake health insurance and the like, I would think he should have no problem dealing with TV the Australian way: Sticking with broadcast networks that you don't have to pay for, but supplementing that with pirated copies of the cable/satellite stuff that you can find online. 

[Mr. Morden]

Didn't Torie say that the short sale was unnecessary or something?  I don't remember the particulars of that argument, but it sounded like he knew what he was talking about.  Perhaps he can refresh my memory?

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, are you saying that you don't actually believe Torie and Duke when they say that if the house is underwater, you save more money by walking away?  I don't actually understand your argument here.

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, are you saying that you don't actually believe Torie and Duke when they say that if the house is underwater, you save more money by walking away?  I don't actually understand your argument here.

He's probably going to tell us about how the house is his responsibility and how he has to do the upstanding American thing and keep paying for it or some such nonsense. He's literally living on an entirely different plane of existence at this point.

In a way, it actually reminds me of the New Zealand scam, or even Ameriplan or the other get rich quick schemes.  Reminds of those cases in the sense that Bushie gets duped into thinking one thing (in this case, by the real estate agent), people here explain to him that he's being played, and even when it's clear that he's being conned and/or he has no counterarguments to offer, he just ignores everything that's said, and pretends that it's all just a matter of opinion anyway, and that there is no objective reality.

EDIT: I mean, how many posts did people have to offer of proof that the New Zealand thing was a scam before he first acknowledged it with something like "OK, maybe this isn't quite what it looks like"?