Bushie: The Final Frontier - Update Season V

[opebo]

I felt a little depressed right after work,

Why were you depressed right after work?

I was so tired, I wasn't sure if I was depressed or just exhausted, which is why I opted for a short nap.

I'm usually depressed before work, and rather elated upon finishing the misery.  Though I have to admit being so exhausted that you have to nap is also a normal result of toils

[opebo]

Well, I have grown to really hate unhealthy food in large quantities. Yeah, sure, I love pizza now and then, or onion rings, or a burger, or something like that, but if I eat enough of it, I will feel sick, bloated and lethargic the rest of the day.

You just need to exercise your stomach more.

[opebo]

Bushie, have you never heard the old saying 'Hunger is the best sauce'?

Simply starve yourself, and then, when you are very hungry, even tomatoes and olive oil will taste delicious.  If you're hungry enough, anything tastes pretty good.

[opebo]

Mayonnaise is great for you, just make it with olive oil or some such.  It is full of vitamin K if I remember rightly, and after all you need to eat a lot of good fats in your diet.  It is only because of the corporations making them with industrial substitutes (such as soybean oil) for real food that these products have become unhealthy.

Wow, I just read you can apparently make mayonnaise with bacon fat or duck fat!  Sounds wonderful!

[opebo]

You have often made it into my signature, Lief - when you say things like:

and people seriously argue that opebo isn't our best poster.

I realize Bush may not be able to make the mayonnaise himself, but he could have his mother make it.

Bacon fat mayonnaises:





Olive oil mayonnaise:



They said that while it may be tasty to add some bacon fat in the emulsification, you want to stick to mostly olive oil to avoid an overbearing flavor or excessive solidity.

[opebo]

Never-mind what I said about mum, Bushie, lets take a road trip to New Orleans together and try this 'hand crafted' French-style mayonnaise made with peanut oil, served with french fries fried in duck fat!:

 

[opebo]

opebo makes a good point: if you're going to be fat, at least enjoy being a fat. There are plenty of incredibly delicious unhealthy foods; there's no need to waste those calories on disgusting slop from a buffet line when you could be making yourself bacon mayonnaise, duck fat french fries, or all sorts of other fatty and delicious delicacies. 

Because if he indulged in good food, he wouldn't be able to spoil his children for Christmas.

Cook them too!  They probably still have the pot for it somewhere around Mombasa. 

(Btw, sorry folks, I didn't research our road trip well enough!  That restaurant with the duck-fat fries is in Charleston SC - we can visit Duke while there.)

[opebo]

If I have a drifter come before me wanting to build houses and I come to find he's held five jobs in the past year- that makes me suspicious of his reliability

Heck nowadays all the people who know how to build houses are not only unemployed but probably living under a bridge. 

[opebo]

Heck nowadays all the people who know how to build houses are not only unemployed but probably living under a bridge. 

Most home builders nowadays make a lot of money.

How is that possible - there are no houses being built.

[opebo]

What contractor in their right mind will hire you given you leave jobs faster than I change heads on my toothbrush?

You don't just buy a new toothbrush whole?  I've never heard of 'changing heads' on a toothbrush.  Maybe on a 'shaver'...

[opebo]

What contractor in their right mind will hire you given you leave jobs faster than I change heads on my toothbrush?

You don't just buy a new toothbrush whole?  I've never heard of 'changing heads' on a toothbrush.  Maybe on a 'shaver'...

An electric toothbrush.

Do people actually use those?  Sounds so 1950s!

[opebo]

To be honest I can't conceive of brushing teeth as relating to 'laziness'.  For me, repetitive back and forth (or for that matter up and down) motions do not constitute 'work'.   For me, 'work' is having to get up early (before four PM), having to be in a particular place, and in particular having to write or speak.  If all I had to do was move my hand back and forth to make a comfortable living, I would be one happy man.

[opebo]

Wow, I totally missed the part about the vagrants or teens or whatever having sex in the garage/shed.  That is hilarious!  It is funny to imagine people still mustering the energy to have sex while homeless in Oklahoma.

(I read that Microsoft has 6,000 job openings yesterday, and are desperate for skilled immigrants)?

Dirty bastards, they should shut that place down.

[opebo]

This thread needs some serious opebo.

By that I assume you mean bitter pessimism.  Well, I told him years ago to keep his job at the City Power and Light or whatever it was - after he abandoned that to go work in fully-fledged 'private-industry' I considered him lost forever - and doomed.

But turning the cold glare upon him again, I couldn't agree with you more memphis - this poor lad has no business attempting to live on his own.  Staying in his parents basement is probably the best solution.  Just doing nothing is such a pleasure, and I miss it terribly.

That said, I have to disagree with this:

...those like him having  skill sets that are generic and commonplace,

He's a subtle tale-spinner and I think that coupled with the fat-preacher look would make him a promising con man.

Bushie, either move home or really embrace your dark side - deceive everyone around you (not just mum and dad) and get that money.  

Can anyone think of some creative cons for a trustworthy-looking fat guy?

[opebo]

I've had sex with five girls in one evening

Forgive me for being glib, but we're all guys here so we're all wondering the same thing: How in the name of God's Green Earth did you manage to accomplish this?

Seconded, this the most interesting revelation to come out of thread so far.

Definitely also wondering about that one!

Me too, though I've had sex with four at one time, but I'm sure it is no mystery to anyone how that was accomplished.

[opebo]

And why would anyone want to jack off in a shed like that?

That's the most believable part of this whole thing!

And perhaps the best evidence that Torie does not understand the plight of the poor.

[opebo]

BushOK are you carrying all the usual emergency supplies for people who will be trapped in snowbanks?  I don't know what those or, or even if any preparation is really possible for such an eventuality, but you might want to do a google search about that before departing.  At least pick up a drifter in case you need to resort to cannibalism while stuck in the white stuff.

[opebo]

That would be quite the surrealist ending to the Update Saga.  BushOK finds himself in a downward spiral, and loses everything, eventually even his computer.  Without his computer, he's unable to log in to Atlas to finish the narrative, and his ultimate fate is left up to the viewer's imagination.

If his parents ever go under or cut him off, that will be the inevitable result.  Though I wouldn't rule out a homeless Bushie logging in a few times from the library or some such place.

[opebo]

All kinds of folks drop by these days

I'll bet!

Not sure a 300 pound traveling christian would fit in that well though...

[opebo]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

With a couple of exceptions maybe, nobody understands why it was essential for you to take money from your parents while you were employed in Utah. Nobody.

Well come on now, he moved across the country to take up a bare subsistence level job, and you think he wouldn't need money from the parents?  If he hadn't had money from the parents he would have been homeless and probably dead.  On the other hand, it was a bad idea to go anywhere or do anything, so they did facilitate that.

Bush, don't listen to these spoiled, hypocritical rich kids.  I understand your condition.  

Just sit tight at home, try not to worry too much.  Cultivate a good relationship with mom, dad and other old people in the community, and eventually someone will find you a job at, say the City Power and Light, or the telephone company (alas I hear the telephone company may have been destroyed, but something along those lines).  What you need is a community - a support network - to find you employment and keep you in it.  

Is there a prison anywhere near you where you could work?  Or any sort of government or regulated-public-utility that might have simple clerking jobs?  Do NOT, under any circumstances, seek employment with 'private' corporations - you are definitely better off sleeping all day in your parents basement.

[opebo]

The problem is, BushOK thinks he is entitled to some high paying, high skilled job, and does not want to put in the work to get back to the type of job he had at ONG. The more jobs he quits, the further and further he gets from ever achieving that goal.

I thought the job at the natural gas company was a bottom level office clerk job.

As for Grumps Walmart idea - I think it is definitely better to do nothing than to go to Walmart.  We don't want a suicide on our hands.

[opebo]

As for Grumps Walmart idea - I think it is definitely better to do nothing than to go to Walmart.  We don't want a suicide on our hands.

You do care!  (uh, where is the girl's hand in that signature of yours?  Is that why the guy is smiling so much?  )

Well... I care in the sense that I really dislike the idea that anyone would accept the notion that working at WalMart could be preferable to sleeping all day in your parent's basement.

As for the signature, I never noticed that interpretation.  Perhaps its a Mormon orgy.

[opebo]

The problem is, BushOK thinks he is entitled to some high paying, high skilled job, and does not want to put in the work to get back to the type of job he had at ONG. The more jobs he quits, the further and further he gets from ever achieving that goal.

I thought the job at the natural gas company was a bottom level office clerk job.

As for Grumps Walmart idea - I think it is definitely better to do nothing than to go to Walmart.  We don't want a suicide on our hands.

Gotta start somewhere.  I've worked my ass off the past 18 months to get where I am at this job. I didn't ask for raises or anything. With hard work, comes rewards.

Really?  What rewards? 

I think had he just stayed it would have been enough, no?

[opebo]

Bushie what about the local municipality, or County government, or something like that?  Private industry is a losing game.  Do you know anyone who could help to get you into some low level job for government?  Even collecting the carcases off the roadways would be better than working for a private employer.

[opebo]

...You are not allowed to be unemployed when your Dad is working so much.

What does his father do?