The Confession Booth: Post something very personal about yourself

[windjammer]

I'm litterally scared of "sims 2" burglars, I know it's strange, but it's my phobia!

[Thomas D]

I watched 10 minutes of Sprout's 'Snooze-a-thon' last night.

It did not help me sleep.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Oh, this is back! Nice.

[tik 🪀✨]

I think I have piles.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

About a year ago I actually watched two episodes of My Little Pony. I feel dirty ever since.

[Platypus]

I'm 4 days overdue in rent and nobody's hiring

[Grumpier Than Thou]

I have an unhealthy obsession with apple pie

[Del Tachi]

When I park at a metered spot and don't have any change I take a ticket off of another vehicle nearby and put it on my own windshield. 

 

[Antonio the Sixth]

Alright, time for me to actually confess something:

I cried in two instances during my stay in San Francisco (once pretty early in the year, the second one right after coming back after spending winter break in France with my family). The circumstances that triggered these outbursts are not very interesting, but it was really surprising because, though I'm pretty emotional, I don't think I had ever cried in the previous 10 years or so. Also interestingly, I didn't actually break into tears in another moment (in the days before and after I came back from SF) in which I felt much sadder than I had been in the other 2.

[Simfan34]

I have a couple things that I was thinking would best go in this thread.

Ugh, Snowstalker, your posts are so terrible I come to the Deluge to find one of your posts in here, and end up posting another of yours in it.

But it also might be because I am easily distractible. I'm currently writing three (perhaps even four) posts, each cut off in the middle to go and write another one, and have posted some four in the interim. To top it off I went on Wikipedia to look at something and ended up in the middle of editing a bunch of pages. Jesus.

Realized that the music I listen to is pretty much 100% Baroque/Classical Christian sacred music and, excepting Handel, is basically all in Latin.  Why do I have a playlist that's all various settings of the Te Deum Laudamus?

I'm partial to Dvorak's; I feel like I've mentioned this before...

[Vega]

I voted for Linda Lingle... twice...

[tik 🪀✨]

I definitely had piles, btw. Itchy ones.

[Cory]

Confessions:

- I struggle with what seem to be two "me's". One me is nice, loving, outgoing, compassionate and friendly. The other "me" is mean, bitter, paranoid, hateful and full of wrath and spite and is distinctly amoral. Now that I'm on my medication again the good me dominates, but sometimes when I'm drinking the bad me comes out. And it comes out in force (as you guys are well aware, no doubt). I wish the "bad me" would just go away, but I know it will never fully happen and that hopefully with my medication I will learn to control it and not let it dominate me.

- Whenever I do something especially mean or hateful, I regret it massively and have a hard time forgiving myself. Even if it's something that seems petty. For example once when I was in 8th grate I was talking to a mutual friend about what someone else had said, I didn't know her name (she was really fat and had horrible acne) so I referred to her as "fat girl". She overheard me and I noticed tears streaming down her cheeks. I have never forgiven myself for this incident and others and sometimes cry about it. I'm so sorry about how stupid and immature I was to say that (to be fair, I didn't know she could hear it). But I know there is nothing I can do to take it back and it slays me. There are other similar incidents. I can never forgive myself for these petty (in the grand scheme of things) incidents, but have a much easier time forgiving others for past transgressions against myself.

- I probably have a drinking problem. I drink (like 8 or so beers worth, at once, unless I have whiskey then it's mixed drinks) almost every day because most of the time it makes me happy but sometimes it backfires and I should probably do something about it.

- I beat myself up constantly for not being "good enough". I feel like I will never be happy or successful. I am constantly comparing myself to other people and being disappointed... in myself. I just wish I was better. Someone else even.

- I struggled massively with severe depression from ages 16-18 roughly. I tried to kill myself several times but failed. I'm surprised I didn't go full-on insane (maybe I did). Literally years of mental torture, it's impossible to truly describe. One of my botched attempts was discovered and I got on medication which changed everything but I still struggle with depression but not nearly as much as I did then. I stooped taking my meds for a good while and fell back down and only recently have I truly begun to recover, but even then there are still elements of it. However I am however an excellent bullsh**ter and manage to hide this almost totally from my IRL associates and friends.

- I am a very emotional and sensitive person even though I try to put off a cynical and stoic front. Unfortunately this "front" seeps into my character and shapes it.

- I have a secret plan to kill myself around age 30 if my life isn't getting on track. The idea is to make it look like an accident to spare my loved ones the grief and guilt.

There you have it.

[tik 🪀✨]

Well I hope you decide against that last idea no matter what situation you find yourself in. But based on comments you've made in the past things make a little more sense. Depression is a c**nt, I hope you can cope. Don't put up a front with everyone, though, you need to be open to get emotional support from people close to you.

And what is your definition for "on track"? Plenty of people don't have any idea what they want until they're 50, or think at 30 that they are a success but later look back and think they were completely wrong. I hope you can find genuine happiness wherever you end up.

[Simfan34]

Good lord I didn't mean for this to be so serious.

[tik 🪀✨]

I?

[Simfan34]

I?

The thread was peacefully dormant until I bothered it with the the prospect of posting some silly and slightly embarrassing stuff.

I mean I'm all very sorry for what Cory's going through but it's not at all what I was expecting to be posted. A blow to the gut and all.

[tik 🪀✨]

Oh. If you'd like I can talk more about my piles.

[windjammer]

Even if he has some strange tendancies, I really like Simfan.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Man, reading Cory's post really bummed me out, but it was also like reading something about myself. Sans the drinking problem, I feel almost the same exact way on every point. Cory, you might want to seek some help if you already haven't. It sounds like you're on a path to self-destruction--voluntary or not. There are ways to learn to cope with the issues that you have. Trust me, I've been slowly starting to cope with my unending inner torment and it's started to get better. Best of luck to you, man.

[The Dowager Mod]

I voted for George Bush instead of Anne Richards...

[Antonio the Sixth]

I voted for George Bush instead of Anne Richards...

WHAT

[Miles]

I take my posting more personally than I should (not just on this site), so I'm prone to holding grudges.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

I take my posting more personally than I should (not just on this site), so I'm prone to holding grudges.

So if I told you that Drew Brees is the worst Quarterback in NFL history you would hate me?

[Paul Kemp]

Never forget...

Last fall, I was writing a short erotic story in which krazen gets seduced, and then raped, by his male high school teacher.  Sadly, I was about halfway through with it before I forgot about it and the file got deleted when I had to clean my hard drive.  From what I remember, it was pretty graphic.