Snowstalker (R-WV) vs. Oakvale (I-MA)

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

The GOP nominates the far right Snowstalker, running on a Buchanan-esque platform of high tariffs, suspicion of Wall Street, the Jews, and other minorities, and a socially far-right platform. He also condemns the "cold logic" that he claims is becoming too prevalent in American politics. The rest of the world, including a vast majority of the both parties, nominates well known Apatheist thinker and smoker Oakvale, a resident of Massachusetts. Snowstalker attempts to appeal to lower class voters through his "Hick Politician" tactics and wild campaign promises. Oakvale for his part, takes long breaks during the one debate to smoke, and is known most of all for his humorous responses to Snowstalker's claims. Who would you vote for? Maps also.

[Donerail]

"Are you aware that Mr. Oakvale is known all over Washington as a shameless extrovert? Not only that, but this man is reliably reported to practice nepotism with his sister-in-law, he has a brother who is a known homo sapiens, and he has a sister who was once a thespian in wicked New York. Worst of all, it is an established fact that Mr. Oakvale, before his marriage, habitually practiced celibacy."--Senator Snowstalker on the campaign trail in West Virginia

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

lol

[Donerail]

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

The 2016 U.S. Presidential Election
In the midst of a moribund economy, Snow Stalker's fervently shouted stump speeches were able to win the minds and hearts of a new "Silent Majority" of Americans. A close election, Stalker would nonetheless be able to win a majority of the electoral college. Oak Vale's campaign was hurt when an off-the-record comment was aired, made by his running-mate, Dr. Mikado. In it, he compared Stalker to 1930's-style populist politicians, or "politicians covered in hog sh#t, talking to people covered in hog sh#t, asking them why they haven't voted to send more people covered in hog sh#t to D.C." The comment smacked of what Snow Stalker called "Neo-Liberal elitism" and was able to decisively tip Texas in the Stalker's favor. Stalker had previously used the phrase "Neo-Liberal" in Republican primary debates, a word many of the primary voters mistook as an attack on liberal Democrats.  

Senator Snow Stalker (R-WV)/Former Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) 279 electoral votes
Mr. Oak Vale (I-MA)/Dr. William Gibbs Mikado (D-DC) 259 electoral votes

[Napoleon]

Snowstalker

[TNF]

[Miles]

Snowstalker

[LastVoter]

write-in: Tweed