Hash's Dystopian/Utopian/Troll timeline, circa 2030

[Hash]

If anybody is reading...

Random stats and info on Greece (of relevance for upcoming events)

Flag of Greece


Emblem of the ruling National Movement for the Salvation of Greece (Εθνικό Κίνημα για την σωτηρία της Ελλάδα, EKSE/NMSG)

Capital: Athens
Population: 11.6 million
Political system: Parliamentary republic
President of the Republic: President Alexandra Karagianis (PASOK-NMSG), elected 2027
    The President of the Republic is elected at the start of every new Parliament to a five-year term, renewable once
Prime Minister: Gaelos L'Herminakis (PASOK-NMSG), in office since 2016
Constitution: Constitution of Hellenic Republic of 2018
Legislative power: Hellenic Parliament (Βουλή των Ελλήνων), unicameral legislature with 300 seats elected by full proportional representation with a 3% threshold (5-year term unless dissolved)
Last elections: 2027, next elections in 2032.
Results of the last election:
PASOK-NMSG 41% - 127 seats
SDK 30% - 92 seats
SYRIZA 9% - 27 seats
DIMAR-NMSG 7% - 21 seats
KKE 6% - 18 seats
Greens-NMSG 5% - 15 seats
Others 2%

The National Movement for the Salvation of Greece (NMSG/EKSE) is the ruling alliance. It is a broad front which unites three separate parties (the dominant force is PASOK, with DIMAR and the Greens as weaker forces), a trade union movement (Workers' Alliance for the Salvation of Greece [SESE], second largest union in the country), community organizations, and various youth and women's federations (National Federation of Greek Youths and Students, Women's Alliance for the Salvation of Greece). The military and police forces, of course, do not have organized factions but it is clear that pro-NMSG officers dominate within both the military (all branches, particularly the army) and the police.

In 2026, PASOK redefined itself as a "Mustafinist-Komovist party, supportive of the goals of the NMSG for the construction of a democratic, progressive, tolerant, safe and lawful Greece". It is a centre-left party.

The 2017 Constitution combines highly progressive aspects with clauses judged by critics to be fairly illiberal. The constitution defines Greece as a secular nation, with no special mention for the Greek Orthodox Church.

A Bill of Rights forbids discrimination on grounds of race, gender, sex, pregnancy, marital status, ethnic or social origin, colour, sexual orientation, age, disability, religion, conscience, belief, culture, language and birth. This effectively guarantees LGBT rights, women's rights, protection for alternative gender identities and minority rights. The Bill of Rights also guarantees a right to human dignity, personal freedom and security, freedom of expression, freedom of religion/belief/opinion, freedom of assembly, right to housing, right to education, right to food/water, right to healthcare, fundamental labour rights, right to private property and other major human rights. However, the final clause of the Bill of Rights allows the government, with the support of the absolute majority of Parliament, to temporarily suspend some clauses of the Bill of Rights (pertaining to legal rights and fundamental freedoms) in the case of a state of emergency, national crisis or for "other reasons of State security" (deliberately undefined). Another clause conditions some of these rights to particular laws, circumstances and allows the government to declare any law to be operating notwithstanding a clause of the Bill of Rights.

In the wake of the ratification of the constitution, the government legalized (all in  same-sex marriage, euthanasia and the consumption of soft drugs (regulated and taxed).

The Political Parties, Associations and Movements Act (PPAMA) is a 2017 law which regulates the registration and legal operation of political parties, trade unions, social associations or groupings and other kinds of associations organized for political, social or economic purposes. The PPAMA bans any associations which is found to "oppose fundamental provisions of the Bill of Rights, the constitutional preamble or the democratic constitutional framework" or which "incites hatred and intolerance". Associations banned under the PPAMA may appeal their decision to the courts. The PPAMA has been invoked to ban several subversive associations. In 2017, the neo-Nazi Golden Dawn (XA) party was banned under the PPAMA and XA has remained a proscribed association since. The Communist Party (KKE) was originally banned under the PPAMA, but it successfully appealed the decision in court in 2018. The Supreme Court ruled that the PPAMA was constitutional and conformed to the Bill of Rights.

After the August 2016 coup, the interim military-civilian junta enacted a Special Law on Internal Security, which allowed for preventive detention for a period of up to 30 days by military or civilian authorities. After the adoption of the constitution, the new Parliament repealed the law and replaced it by the Public Safety and Emergencies Act (PSEA). Under the PSEA, the police may arrest individuals suspected of terrorism, plotting to overthrow the government, posing a direct threat to national security and some other non-political crimes (sexual offences etc). Suspects arrested the PSEA may be held in preventive detention for up to 30 days and no individual can be detained without trial.

Foreign relations (outside the Alliance and the Axis) Under NMSG rule, Greece has had a very assertive, internationalist and active foreign policy. Greek troops intervened in several diplomatic and humanitarian crises in the 2020s, notably in North and West Africa.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

If anybody is reading...

I am.

Now, what about Poland?

[Hash]

If anybody is reading...

I am.

Now, what about Poland?

I haven't come up with a fun storyline for Poland, so I'll take anything you propose if you wish.

[Hash]

July 2030: Trigger Month

In the evening of July 9, a bombing at a ski chalet in Val-d'Isère (Savoie) in France killed five tourists, all of them French. Within hours, the National Movement for the Liberation of France (Revolutionary) or MNLF(R) claimed responsibility for the attack. It was the first rebel/insurgent whose victims were not police, military or supporters of the ruling FN party. The MNLF(R) was a far-left rebel group founded by a radical communist cell in the MNLF. However, to the eyes of the regime, all these groups were one and the same.

In Paris, the regime strengthened security measures to a maximum ahead of the July 14 military parades for Bastille Day. Police raids arrested over 300 suspected 'subversives' and 'terrorist sympathizers' in the Paris region, the military was on full combat alert in every major city in France and road checkpoints were set up across the country. The last thing President Panzermiss wanted was her show of military might overshadowed by a rebel attack.

Which is exactly what happened. On July 14, MNLF rebels marched into Bonneval-sur-Arc and Bessans, two valley towns in remote Savoie on the other side of the Alps from Italy. They faced no resistance and MNLF rebels proclaimed these two towns as the 'Republic of Liberated France'. By nightfall, MNLF rebels also took control of Lanslebourg-Mont-Cenis, they had entered the country through a lightly guarded road from Italy. It was an embarrassment of massive proportions for the French government.

The next day, a French air force contingent bombed Bonneval-sur-Arc and Lanslebourg-Mont-Cenis, killing ten residents and three rebels. From Paris, President Panzermiss, in a foul-mouthed televised tirade, lashed out at the Italian government, accusing them - once again - of providing safe refuge from the MNLF 'terrorists'. Panzermiss also accused the Greek regime of "masterminding, funding and indoctrinating" the MNLF 'terrorists'. She announced that France was breaking off diplomatic relations with Italy and declared a nationwide state of emergency, which gave the regime even more powers to crack down on opposition. Days later, the French Ministry of Foreign Affairs published documents which 'proved' that some MNLF rebels in detention had received military training in Greece and Russia. Russian foreign minister Maria Paseka, speaking on behalf of the Alliance nations, called the document a fake.

In Athens, July 23 - the birthday of Prime Minister L'Herminakis - was traditionally marked by a military parade and various social activities throughout the country organized by the NMSG's community organizations. At around noon, when the festivities were at their peaks, three car bombs exploded - two in downtown Athens (one was blocks from the parade route) and one in Thessaloniki. Forty people, most of them civilians, were killed. President Alexandra Karagianis went on state TV within hours to denounce a "brutal, senseless, barbarian and savage terrorist attack; deliberately aimed at murdering innocent men, women and children". Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis, who had been transported to the Greek government's secret bunker, declared a nationwide state of emergency and suspended constitutional provisions. Stern-faced, he warned that "those responsible for this barbarian attack will be rooted out and annihilated". The next day, all parties in Parliament (even the KKE) ratified, in an emergency session, the suspension of constitutional provisions and the state of emergency.

International reactions poured in. From Moscow, Prime Minister Viktoria Komova stated her 'utter shock and disbelief' and pledged Russia's full cooperation. Italian Prime Minister Vanessa Ferrari pledged full support and cooperation, and announced that Italian troops on the French border were being put on high alert. President Jennifer Lawrence (D-KY) stated her "grief and sorrow" in the wake of the Greek bombings and offered American cooperation to the Greek government. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Bieber had few words to say and expressed his sympathies in the shortest possible way. Neither France nor Rhodesia released any statements.

[Oak Hills]

Why is there nothing about the UK or Germany?

[Antonio the Sixth]

When do I get to overthrow Panzermiss?

[Incipimus iterum]

What about rhodesia will gabe be overthrown

[Antonio the Sixth]

Bump!

[Hash]

July-October 2030

On July 31, the Greek interior ministry announced that three suspects had been arrested in connection with the July 23 bombings. Two were Greek nationals (but neither had a judicial record or had been booked by the authorities for links to proscribed groups) and the other was Russian. However, the Russian and one Greek suspect were released three days later. The investigation faced significant difficulty, which led Prime Minister L'Herminakis to remark in early August that they were dealing with "sophisticated, organized and well-funded terrorists; likely with a large terrorist organization".

On August 10, a large police raid in Athens and a simultaneous operation in Bucharest (Romania) led to the arrest of over 35 suspects, all held in relation to the July 23 bombings. Finally, the Greek authorities - in collaboration with Romania and Russia - had made significant headway, helped by tips from locals. In the Athens apartment, authorities discovered large quantities of explosives and detailed maps of sensitive sites in the Attica region (including military bases). In Bucharest, Romanian authorities announced that, from evidence collected in a Bucharest flat, they had dismantled a potential attack in the capital. The suspects arrested in Athens were almost all Greek citizens, with the critical exception of two French citizens.

By the end of the month, Greek investigators revealed to the public that the July 23 attacks had been the work of a previously unknown far-right domestic terrorist group (Front for the Resurrection of Greece), but that this domestic group received significant amounts of money from France. Furthermore, the two French nationals arrested on August 10 were both members of the ruling French FN, and had close ties with high-ranking FN members and officers in the French security apparatus.

Meanwhile, the MNLF rebels in Savoie had made major progress. After a temporary setback after their July 14 operations, the MNLF roared back with a vengeance and held back French military attempts to dislodge them from their mountain/valley strongholds in eastern Savoie. They controlled, most importantly, all border crossings between Savoie and Italy. On September 3, heavily-armed MNLF rebels took control of major cities: Modane, Val-d'Isere, Bourg-Saint-Maurice and Moutiers. The whole Tarentaise valley, Vanoise and Mont-Cenis ranges and parts of the Maurienne valley were under MNLF control. The MNLF rebels which had made such large gains in the matter of two months were all heavily armed and rolled into towns with armored vehicles.

In August, a Mustafinist-Komovist backed candidate, former actress Milena Markovna Kunis, won presidential elections in Ukraine. Upon her inauguration a few weeks later, she announced that Ukraine was joining the Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance.

That same month, 74% of Moldovans voted in favour of union with Romania in a referendum. Opponents claimed that the vote had been rigged or, at the very least, pro-union supporters disproportionately favoured. Moldova's union with Romania, a long-standing goal of Romanian President Sandra Izbaşa, was ultimately made possible by Ukrainian, Greek and Russian support. The resulting annexation of Moldova was not recognized by France, Hungary, Rhodesia and Canada.

In mid-September, a military coup in Turkey overthrow the neutral, non-aligned democratic government and replaced it with a strongly pro-Axis and anti-Greek military junta. The Turkish military had become extremely concerned by Greece's resurgent power on the international stage and feared that the NMSG government had irredentist projects over Turkey. In response to the coup, Prime Minister L'Herminakis imposed economic sanctions on Turkey, he was quickly joined by Russia, Italy and Romania. The Turkish junta responded by closing its borders with Greece and Bulgaria.

In October, a French military offensive brutally halted the MNLF's progresses in Savoie. French troops managed to reconquer strategic towns in the Maurienne valley; however, they faced stiff resistance from well entrenched heavily-armed MNLF rebels in the Tarentaise valley and in former ski resort towns. Nevertheless, the French military had successfully halted the MNLF's successful offensives and the rebels had incurred heavy material and human losses as a result.

In late October, Greek Prime Minister L'Herminakis and Russian Foreign Minister Maria Paseka (who was, in addition, the first General-Secretary of the Alliance) began a five-day state visit to Mexico, during which they met with the country's new President, Paulina Peña Pretelini. Mexico, a rising regional and global power, was non-aligned in the brewing showdown between the Alliance and the Axis, and President PauPen - relatively inexperienced in foreign policy - was seen as a potential ally by both sides. The Alliance, lacking a strong foothold in the Americas outside of Quebec (whose government was weak, constantly threatened by Canadian-backed terrorist/rebel activity and economically in shambles), was eager to gain a powerful ally on the continent. Although no alliance was sealed as a result of the state visit, several defense contracts were signed between Mexico and Alliance defense contractors. After the visit, President Paulina Peña Pretelini, in one of her first foreign policy speeches, condemned the "undemocratic and autocratic regimes" in power in France and Rhodesia. She did not mention the Canadian government, given that Mexico was far from ready to burn all bridges with Canada - a major source of tourist revenue.

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National Movement for the Liberation of France (Mouvement national pour la libération de la France) - Brief Overview

The foundation and origins of the National Movement for the Liberation of France (MNLF) are fairly obscure. The group issued its first official communique in February 2029, but it seems that the MNLF was founded a few months prior in December 2028. The movement's founders were mostly former Socialist, Communist, Green, Left Radical or centrist political activists or underground opponents who had responded to the FN regime's growing authoritarianism by deciding to resort to the armed struggle for 'national liberation'. Indeed, the FN had successfully coopted or banned the left-wing parties, and authoritarian legislation meant that there was no possibility for public, free expression of ideologies or ideas even vaguely distinct from the official line of the government.

The leader of the MNLF was soon revealed to be a man in his late 30s, who went under the nom de guerre 'Tony V'. Little was known, at least by the general public, of his true identity or whereabouts. What was known was that he was a former SciencesPo student in the early 2010s, and a lapsed member of the PS until the Flanby presidency. After Panzergirl's reelection by the first round in 2022, he went underground after having been arrested several times during her first term. He founded an illegal underground movement which still rejected the armed struggle, preferring acts of civil disobedience including wall daubing or defacing statues erected to commemorate the regime's ideological 'grandees' (Pétain, Laval, Doriot, Déat, Poujade, Panzerdaddy etc).

The MNLF, in its initial communique in February 2029, committed itself to the "armed struggle for the national liberation of France". However, the movement's 'armed struggle' was late to come, due to a lack of manpower, materiel and funding. The Christmas eve 2029 bombing of the FN regional command headquarters in Lyon, which killed 5 FN members and 10 police officers, was the first violent act committed by the organization. Until the summer of 2030, its actions were very low-scale and limited. However, the MNLF began its major offensive in Savoie's remote mountainous regions bordering Italy in summer 2030. This was certainly the result of a covert influx of weapons, materiel and money from Italy, Greece and Russia. Therefore, the FN regime's constant claims that the MNLF was covertly funded and supported by the Alliance powers held some truth.

The MNLF is an ideologically vague organization, with no clear ideological orientation (albeit more left-wing than right, obviously) and strategic priorities. However, the MNLF's insistence on limiting violence to activists, supporters, sympathizers of the regime as well as the police and the military evoked resistance from a small far-left group of the party which advocated using violence even against bystanders and non-political civilians. They judged that the French public, at least those who had no left-wing sympathies, must be made to suffer from electing and reelecting the FN regime and often turning a blind eye to its policies. This group split from the MNLF in January 2030, and named itself the National Movement for the Liberation of France (Revolutionary) or MNLF(R).

After the MNLF's military setbacks in its 'struggle for national liberation' in October 2030, the organization's leader, Tony V, convened the MNLF's first General Assembly, which was held in Courmayeur, Italy. The location of the first General Assembly confirmed that Tony V, the movement's leader, was in hiding in Italy, and likely remained in Italy with the full knowledge, support and protection of the Italian government.

The MNLF's first General Assembly drafted and voted in favour of the Declaration of Principles of the Struggle for National and Social Liberation (Déclaration des principes de la lutte pour la libération sociale et nationale):

Principles of the Struggle Against the Regime

• The aim of the MNLF is the armed struggle for the national and social liberation of the entirety of the French Republic from the oppressive fascist regime of Marion 'Panzermiss' Maréchal-Le Pen.
• The armed struggle of the MNLF will include military operations for the liberation of the territory, but also deliberate, targeted attacks against the interests, supporters and enablers of the fascist regime throughout French territory.
• The MNLF is committed to rendering the entirety of the French Republic ungovernable for the fascist regime.
• As much as is possible, attacks and offensives must kill solely those who support the regime, ideologically, politically, militarily or economically. Innocent civilians should not, as much as is possible, be harmed by the struggle for national and social liberation.

Principles of the Movement for National and Social Liberation - Program for the Liberated Republic

• The national and social liberation of France means, first and foremost, restoring the democratic government of the French Republic which was illegally abolished by the fascist regime in 2017.
• We aim to restore the Revolutionary and republican values of Liberté, égalité, fraternité, as well as that of laïcité
• We aim to promote the values of racial tolerance and equality, viciously trampled upon by the fascist and racist regime. The national liberation must abolish discrimination on any grounds, unless such discrimination can be deemed to be for the greater good of the community or the national interest.
• We aim to restore, uphold and defend fundamental human rights, social and economic rights, civil liberties and environmental obligations.
• We aim to rebuild a democratic state which promotes and upholds these rights.
• We support a decentralized France, respecting the rights of all ethnic, linguistic and national minorities. The national liberation includes extending a special status of extended autonomy to all overseas territories, Corsica, the three French provinces of Euskadi and Brittany/Breizh.
• We wish for the social liberation of France and the French people, defeating the fascist corporatism of the regime and the unjust economic order which has prevailed and prospered under the fascist regime. The social liberation must include the freedom of workers to form and join independent, democratic trade unions; the restoration of basic labour rights include the right to collective bargaining and independent resolution of labour disputes free from government coercion; breaking up oligarchic monopolies in several key, strategic sectors of the economy; building a new economic model aimed at equality, equity and sustainable development rather than profit or monetary/material gain; protection from discrimination and sexual harassment of any kind in the workplace; and the participation of workers in the management of large enterprises.
• Our struggle for national and social liberation is also a struggle in favour of sustainable development and the protection of our natural environment.
• We aim for an independent and non-aligned France committed to the defense of democracy and tolerance around the world, directly engaged in the continuing struggle against fascism and racism.
• We reject the stockpiling and use of nuclear weapons or other weapons of mass destruction, liberally defined.
• Territories liberated from the fascist regime shall immediately be called upon to democratically elect, if the military conditions permit, interim Councils of Government of the Liberated Territories (CGTL). The CGTLs will have legislative and executive powers over geographic regions.
• Representatives from each Councils of Government of the Liberated Territories shall form the National Council of the MNLF, which shall have legislative powers over the entirety of the liberated territories until the national and social liberation is complete, at which time free, democratic and multi-party elections shall be held to elect a Constituent Assembly.
• The MNLF welcomes the assistance and support, in all forms, of foreign allies who share our commitment for the national and social liberation of France. The MNLF recognizes and extends gratitude for the support received by the Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance. We call on all democratic, peace-loving nations to support our just struggle for the national and social liberation of France from fascism and racism.

For the national and social liberation of France, rise up!

[Hash]

US midterm elections 2030: Brief overview

Composition of the Senate:
Democratic Party 59 seats
Republican Party 41 seats

Incumbent party in the 2030 Senate races:

22 D vs 11 R

Composition of the House:
Democratic Party 258 seats
Republican Party 177 seats

Governors:
Democratic Party 28 states
Republican Party 22 states

Incumbent governors in the 2030 gubernatorial races:

Context:

The Republican Party suffered extremely severe loses in the 2028 elections, with then-Senator Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker's resounding defeat hurting the GOP in all downballot races - notably the House, where the Democrats gained 43 seats to regain control from the GOP (which had won it in the 2026 midterms), or in the Senate, where Democrats came close to a 60-seat filibuster proof majority. In the aftermath of the GOP defeat and the inauguration of President Jennifer Lawrence, the Republicans desperately tried to reinvent themselves - again. Things were working against them: political polarization decreased, as President J-Law proved to be a unifying figure with strong crossover appeal even after the election; the economy was doing well; and, there were no huge controversies to manipulate and mobilize the public with. The 2029 Rhodesian coup hurt the party, given how it was the work of its two 2028 nominees. Although the new Cogendist ruler of Rhodesia was a figure of wide revulsion in his home country, many Republican activists publicly sympathized with him and the Rhodesian regime.

Major candidates (I didn't put tons of effort into this and non-celeb candidates are just random politicians I ripped off Wiki or know of):
Alaska (Governor): Mayor Bristol Palin (R)
Arizona (Governor): Gov. Kyrsten Sinema (D), Rep. Tanner Flake (R)
California (Governor): Gov. Katy Perry (D), Rep. McKayla Maroney (R)
Florida (Governor): Gov. Will Weatherford (R), State Sen. Danell Leyva (D)
Florida (Senate): Sen. Adam Putnam (R), Rep. Patrick Murphy (D)
Hawaii (Senate): Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D)
Massachusetts (Senator): Rep. Alexandra Raisman (D)
Michigan (Governor): Gov. Justin Amash (R), Rep. Jordyn Wieber (R)
Pennsylvania (Senator): Rep. Amanda Seyfried (D), Rep. Sarah Maria Santorum (R)
Tennessee (Governor): Gov. Destiny Hope 'Miley' Cyrus (D), Sen. Stephen Fincher (R)
Texas (Governor): Fmr. VP/Gov. Ted Cruz (R), Rep. Selena Gomez (D)
Texas (Senate): Sen. Kelly Clarkson (R), Rep. Demi Lovato (D)

[Hash]

US midterm elections 2030: Results

Composition of the Senate:
Democratic Party 63 seats (+4: AZ, FL, MO, TX)
Republican Party 37 seats (-4)

Results:

26 D vs 7 R

Composition of the House:
Democratic Party 269 seats (+11)
Republican Party 166 seats (-11)

Governors:
Democratic Party 34 states (+5: FL, IA, MI, OH, TX, WI)
Republican Party 16 states (-5)

Incumbent governors in the 2030 gubernatorial races:

Major results:
Alaska (Governor): Bristol Palin (R) elected (51%-45%-4%)
Arizona (Governor): Gov. Kyrsten Sinema (D) reelected (54%-44%-2%)
California (Governor): Gov. Katy Perry (D) reelected (63%-35%-2%)
Florida (Governor): State Sen. Danell Leyva (D) elected (49%-48%-3%)
Florida (Senate): Rep. Patrick Murphy (D) elected (50%-47%-3%)
Hawaii (Senate): Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D) elected (72%-24%-4%)
Massachusetts (Senator): Rep. Alexandra Raisman (D) elected (63%-36%-1%)
Michigan (Governor): Rep. Jordyn Wieber (R) elected (51%-47%-4%)
Pennsylvania (Senator): Rep. Amanda Seyfried (D) elected  (56%-43%-1%)
Tennessee (Governor): Gov. Destiny Hope 'Miley' Cyrus (D) reelected (49%-49%-1%)
Texas (Governor): Rep. Selena Gomez (D) elected (50%-47%-3%)
Texas (Senate): Rep. Demi Lovato (D) elected (49%-48%-3%)

[Hash]

Rhodesian insurgency: 2030

The Cogendist regime in Rhodesia continued to face an armed insurgency from a fledgling coalition of black rebels who had rejected the so-called "Cogendist Revolution" in 2029. These groups coalesced under the Zimbabwe African Liberation Front (ZALF). The ZALF had been able to gain a strong foothold in rural areas, where the new Rhodesian regime had failed to solidly implant itself and had been outrun by the rebels within a few weeks after the coup in 20209. However, the Rhodesian military retained the upper hand over the rebels. The Rhodesian government received weekly shipment of arms and supplies from South Africa. Additionally, Rhodesia could count on the strong support of the French and Canadian governments - particularly the French government, which supplied the new Rhodesian regime with fighter planes, advanced weapons and strategical advice. On the other hand, the ZALF had limited foreign backers - Zambia was suspected of providing a rear base for them and giving them periodic support in the form of weapons or money, but the Zambian government was also careful of not excessively provoking the Rhodesian government. The Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance's embargo on Rhodesia could only go so far, given its alliance with South Africa. Besides, Greece and Russia were more focused on the European situation - and the French insurgency - than with the going-ons in Rhodesia.

In September 2030, General-President Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker launched a new massive counterinsurgency operation to dislodge the ZALF from strategic positions in the north of the country and secure full control of Rhodesia's borders. The Rhodesian government adopted a strategy of "terrorism for terrorists" - resorting to insurgent/terrorist tactics against the ZALF. The Rhodesian Air Force supported ground operations with massive bombing campaigns, while the ground forces were widely suspected of using chemical weapons. The operations attracted international condemnation, but Snowstalker pressed on with the operation, constantly going on state TV to give foul-mouted tirades in which he ranted about the "failures of democracy" or "the gay and feminazi anti-white agenda". The Rhodesian President also proclaimed " don't oppose social progress but it seems like the left has basically given in to capitalism and is just focusing on wedge issues; somehow uteruses are more important than labor rights now."

While Greece and Russia were either powerless or uninterested by Rhodesia, the situation in Rhodesia was attracting interest from President Jennifer Lawrence. Buoyed by the Democrats' landslide in the midterm elections, President Lawrence felt that she now had the tools and the means to take more decisive action against Rhodesia. Days after the midterms, President Jennifer Lawrence signed an executive order imposing strict arms and economic sanctions against Rhodesia. She warned the South African government that the US Navy would patrol waters off of South Africa, and was ordered to stop any shipment carrying weapons of any kind. In December 2030, South African President Bok van Blerk broke off diplomatic relations with the United States.

However, in December 2030, President Snowstalker announced that the latest counterinsurgency operation had been a "resounding success", claiming that over a thousand 'terrorists' had been killed and hundreds more arrested. The Rhodesian military had "fully secured" the country's borders, and gained land from the ZALF. In a ceremony in Salisbury, President Snowstalker and Vice President Skillrex Walmart decorated officers and soldiers with the Cogendist Order of Rhodesia, the highest distinction in the Cogendist Republic:

[Hash]

Treatises on Cogendism "Bitches Don't Know About my Cogendism"

While his military was busily killing rebels, President Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker was spending most of his time writing what he envisioned to be his "lasting impact on the world" - a philosophical treatise on Cogendism and the Cogendist Revolution. The book was published in November 2030, titled Treatises on Cogendism: Bitches Don't Know About my Cogendism. Published by the Rhodesian Ministry of Information, it soon became the regime's foundational text and mandatory reading for students in schools and universities and government employees. The book was widely reprinted in South Africa, Canada and France. In Russia, the book was banned, while Greek Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis described it as "more horsesh**t". 



The book begins with Snowstalker's denunciations of modern liberal democracy, which is followed by a long tirade about how "fundamental values" have been forgotten or, worst, persecuted by "a new, destructive agenda". He sets out to describe this "new agenda"; which includes women's rights, gay rights, racial equality, "the banksters neoliberalism" and "the New World Order". He laments, at length, "the era of strong governments, when people knew their rightful place in society". In the second part of the book, he details his philosophy of cogendism and his political views. He attempts to tie his modern cogendist ideology to past leaders and political movements. For example, the Rhodesian President's list of "illustrious precursors of Cogendism" include Kaiser Wilhelm II, Benito Mussolini, Plinio Salgado, Getulio Vargas, Fulgencio Batista, Lon Nol, Hendrik Verwoerd and Ian Smith.

Cogendism defines itself by its rejection of liberal democracy ("It is time to end the sterile game of outmoded liberal democracy"), insisting that democracy has been abused by various groups (mostly women, gays and blacks). As a result, Snowstalker continues, the nation needs an "enlightened ruler" who will lift them up, restore greatness and order and 'guide' the people on the correct path which is to be taken.

Economically, cogendism virulently rejects neoliberal capitalism ("the austerity banksters") and socialism ("humans are naturally unequal, and need a guiding hand"); it preaches for a heavily state-controlled and led economy, similar to corporatism.

Quotes from the book

The Cogendist philosophy:

"To reject excess self-indulgence (especially when that excess harms yourself or others) and work for the greater good of humanity."

"I just see value in monogamy, temperance, and see potential danger in hedonism"

"You've all been skewed by your perspective; taught since birth to place individual above community"

On freedom: "I think that liberty and privacy are overrated values, the best course of action is generally the one best for the society as a whole"

On social progress: "I don't oppose social progress but it seems like the left has basically given in to capitalism and is just focusing on wedge issues. Somehow uteruses are more important than labor rights now."

On cogendism's place in the left-right spectrum: "Cogendism is outside the left-right spectrum"

On fascism: "Sadly, it's a legitimate ideology tarnished by the incompetent Mussolini and the vile Hitler"

On political priorities:
"Stupid females only care about gays and weed, not repealed labor law from 1935"
"Gay rights is a distraction from the real issues, union laws from the 30s"

How cogendism came to be: "I read the Wikipedia article on Vargas and liked the first paragraph"

On Africa's past, and the necessity for the Cogendist Revolution in Rhodesia:
"the focking blicks have destroyed Rhodesia"
"Mandela ignored the white working class"
"The Negro is ultimately boring. He knows nothing of philosophy or statecraft, and is interested in only hollow pleasure

On victims: "My point is that the victim isn't NECESSARILY blameless"

On the slutiness of women: "From what I read at the time, she had lied, cheated, etc"

On bullying: "sometimes there can be reasons behind the bullying"

On population growth: "We probably have too many people. I'd say we can afford to off 3-4 billion"

Coming back on the Amanda Todd scandal:
"Yes, Amanda Todd did not deserve to die, and did not bring it upon herself; but we must not assume total innocence, and it was clearly sugarcoated and drummed up by the media"
"Is that though she didn't deserve to be bullied and driven to suicide, Amanda Todd should have exercised self-restraint/personal responsibility"

On the languages of the Iberian Peninsula: "arguably Castillian, Portuguese, Galician, could all be considered some "Iberian" language"

Parting words: "At the same time, i'm eager to be a person who changes the world in some way"

"Why distract myself and live a life meaningless to everyone but myself? A life has no meaning except its effect upon others. Is that there are two societies: one that is, and one that could be"

[Antonio the Sixth]

OMG... Can't. Stop. Laughing.

[batmacumba]

Nothing about president Daiane dos Santos and her chief-of-staff Daniele Hypolito?
I guess that, after Marina Silva won the 2014 election, boosted by the generalized demonstrations, no one expected she would had implemented such neoliberal policies. Also, her policies towards indigenous reservations and border security allowed the complete control of them and their resources by foreign corporations. She also got very close to the Canadian government, pissing off the Itamaraty.

This led to even more demonstrations and her impeachment by the PT-PMDB-PSB controlled congress, in late 2017. Her VP, a high rank impresario, was also caught in some minor tax related scam and impeached too. The congress, then, passed legislation installing a parliamentarist government, a movement which pissed off the whole rest of the population.

After two very confuse elections, in 2018 and 2022, the congress reached surreal levels of corruption, autocratic rule and instability, with a new congress president each six months.
After 10 years of daily demonstrations, the government had already issued a bill giving revenue to the most constant demonstrators (a.k.a. Bolsa-Protesto), but this didn't stop neither was able to control the demonstrations. Amongst the confusion, rose the National Movement Arabian Double Front (Movimento Nacional Duplo Twist Carpado) NMADF/MNDTC.

Right before the 2026 election, the demonstrators managed to occupy the national congress, subsequentially demanding that every Congressperson should dance to Ary Barroso's song, Brasileirinho. Once all of them had broke their legs trying to do it, except for former footballer Romário and former Big Brother winner Jean Willys, they were substituted by the olympic gymnastics team, which started to perform routines over the congress domes.
In the end, former gymnast Daiane dos Santos performed the two skills named in her homage, the Dos Santos I and Dos Santos II, finishing it all with a new routine, in which she performed a Double Arabian in front, back, picked, laid-out and upside-down positions, a movement then on called the Dos Santos III / Brazilian Revolution - after this she was proclaimed president, with 43 years old.

The Brazilian government has very odd foreign policies, having bad relations with both Canada and Quebec, cold ones with the USA and France, and, surprisingly, despite having a black woman as president, a good relation with Rhodesia. Some commentators believe this is due a sympathetic relation between the countries' leaders, being both dwarfs.
The best relations the country has, OTOH, is surely with Russia and Italy (this last one pleases a big share of the country's Southeast population) but it seems that the relation with Greece is worse than one would expect. Some say that this is because one self styled big fan of gymnastics never paid due respect for the best gymnast of the 00's.



President: Daiane dos Santos
Chief of Staff: Daniele Hypolito
National Congress President: Romário
Deputies' Chamber president: Jean Willys
Congress' Government Leader: Diego Hypolito
NMADF's Leader: Jade Barbosa
Education Minister: Tiririca


Hope this helps. Feel free to alterate.

[Hash]

You're awesome, batmacumba. That Brazil story line is excellent. I might alter it a tad to have a Sino-Soviet split kind of thing going on between Brazil and the Mustafinists, caused by divergences in gymnastics dialectic

Thanks a lot!

eda: to continue on the gymnastics theme, the President of Venezuela is Jessica López; Marta Pihan-Kulesza is Prime Minister of Poland and Giulia Steingruber is a leading Swiss politician.

[Hash]

Random updates

In December 2030, the Chilean Congress finally ratified the country's adhesion to the Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance the Alliance's Mutual Self-Defense Pact. Camila Vallejo, a former communist student leader had won the 2029-2030 presidential election as the Socialist Party's candidate. During the campaign, Vallejo had pledged closer relations with the Alliance to "defeat fascist and racist forces". However, congressional ratification of Alliance membership had been held up for months after her inauguration in early 2030. The right and centre, as well as more moderate Socialists, had either opposed or expressed reservations about joining the Alliance. President Vallejo had finally been able to convince reticent legislators to ratify the treaty. Chile became the sixth country to join the Alliance after Greece, Russia, Romania, Italy and Ukraine.

US President Jennifer Lawrence appointed Anastasia 'Nastia' Liukin of Texas, a former Olympic gymnast (of Russian descent), as US Ambassador to Russia (and, by extension, the Alliance given that Russia presided the Alliance). Nastia Liukin was on good terms with President Mustafina and Russian Foreign Minister/Alliance Secretary-General Maria Paseka, so her appointment was interpreted as a sign that Washington DC was intent on building a closer relationship with the Alliance powers.

[batmacumba]

You're awesome, batmacumba. That Brazil story line is excellent. I might alter it a tad to have a Sino-Soviet split kind of thing going on between Brazil and the Mustafinists, caused by divergences in gymnastics dialectic

Thanks a lot!

eda: to continue on the gymnastics theme, the President of Venezuela is Jessica López; Marta Pihan-Kulesza is Prime Minister of Poland and Giulia Steingruber is a leading Swiss politician.

You're wellcomed! How could I miss the Arabian Double Front joke for all these years? It's a pity it doesn't work in Portuguese.
I'm thinking about the unified Iberian language too. It may be very funny.

[Velasco]

I've noticed this thread tonight, it's very entertaining. However, it's rather disappointing to have such a boring PM in Spain (Soraya), but I guess that's what we deserve Oth, it's great to see that Velasco Coello defeated "some folks" prior to PauPen's arrival to Los Pinos. I can imagine singer Paulina Rubio or Sofía Castro (Angélica's daughter) with some post in Velasco Coello or PauPen administrations.

[Hash]

The Mustafinists take Poland

Poland continued to be ruled by various shades of (incompetent or useless) right-wingers, oscillating from more palatable free-market type liberal conservatives to crazier nationalist conservatives who hate random groups of people. The amorphous political system dragged on for years and years, without too many people caring about it. However, the horrible nationalist focktard elected president (Zbigniew Ziobro) in 2025 ruined the economy by decreeing some autarkic economic policy. Furthermore, Ziobro built up close ties with France, Canada and Rhodesia (after 2029), much to the displeasure of Russia and Greece.

In the 2030 presidential election, Greece's Strategic Development Fund (STA), which had, among other things, successfully paid for Sandra Izbaşa's presidential campaign in Romania back in 2019, intervened in the Polish elections. Domestically, a journalist and former academic named Kalwejt had started assembling a coalition of activists opposed to the regime. Ahead of the 2030 election, he officially founded the Coalition for Polish Democracy and ran as the coalition's candidate against Ziobro. The coalition was broadly left-leaning, and defined itself as anti-fascist and anti-racist, criticizing Warsaw's alliance with Paris, Ottawa and Salisbury. The coalition's second in command, and likely leader for the 2031 legislative elections, was former gymnast Marta Pihan-Kulesza, a Mustafinist-Komovist. The Greek and Russian foreign ministries quickly took notice of Kalwejt's new coalition, and the STA started generously funding his campaign.

Kalwejt was elected President in a two-way race, winning 54% of the vote. The day of his inauguration, he broke off diplomatic relations with Canada, France and Rhodesia.

[Hash]

The British Columbia Crisis

Carly Rae Jepsen, a former pop singer, had taken advantage of a brief era of liberalization of the federal Harper-Bieber regime in 2029 (coinciding with the Dear Leader's retirement and his replacement by Justin Bieber) to win the BC provincial elections, on a liberal platform promising political reforms and a restoration of civil liberties which had been crushed under the BC Conservative provincial government. However, in the first year after her electoral victory, Carly Rae Jepsen (widely known as CRJ) walked a thin line and hesitated to be too assertive and bellicose in her dealings with the Bieber government. In March 2030, she had repealed the previous provincial government's harsh preventive detention laws. In June 2030, she repealed a law which restricted freedom of speech and assembly. However, she largely tried to win incremental reforms through consensus and compromise with Ottawa. In July 2030, she met Prime Minister Justin Bieber to discuss potential political reforms. But Bieber had little interest, and relations between Victoria and Ottawa deteriorated in the fall of 2030. When, in December 2030, Bieber's government had not passed the second installment of the "reforms package" it had promised in 2029 and instead continued repression and persecution of political opponents, CRJ had enough.

CRJ organized a political rally, allowed under provincial law but arguably forbidden under federal law, on January 4, 2031.



At the rally, Premier CRJ announced her intentions to launch a "crusade for democracy" both in BC and Canada as a whole. She directly criticized the "repressive, undemocratic policies of the federal government" and highlighted the urgency of change. Even more unforgivable in Bieber's eyes, she denounced Canada's alliance with "racist and neo-fascist governments" (Rhodesia, France) and judged such alliances to be "intolerable". In her speech, she announced that the BC government would no longer feel constrained by any "repressive legislation" from the federal government and would continue the reform program on its own.

The next day, the Premier clarified her position in a letter to the Prime Minister. In it, she threatened that BC would nullify certain federal laws and move to expel the RCMP and federal troops from the province's territory if the federal government did not repeal certain 'repressive legislation' within 30 days.

On January 7, 2031, Prime Minister Justin Bieber invoked the Consolidated National Security Act, removing Premier Carly Rae Jepsen from office and dissolving the provincial legislature. She was also simultaneously declared a "wanted criminal". The Consolidated National Security Act, passed by the Harper regime in 2028, allowed the federal government to remove any provincial Premier from office and dissolve any provincial legislature. However, before she could be arrested, CRJ fled across the border to the United States. On January 9, she turned up in Athens, where she was granted political asylum by the Greek government.

[Person Man]

Will there be a war with Canada like in South Park?

[Antonio the Sixth]

Hooray for Poland!

[Hash]

The story of Taylor Swift (and her relationships)

American (pseudo-)country/pop sensation and star Taylor Swift gained national and international notoriety for her numerous breakups, and the inevitable song which was not-so-covertly about how much of a horrible person the last boyfriend was.

In 2016, after a concert in Paris (France), she briefly dated then-French President Flanby Hollande. Flanby Hollande's original girlfriend/First Lady, Valoche Tweeterveiler, had broken up with him (through a tweet in which she called him "a fat little wuss") in 2015 after she had seen him shaking hands with the sale poufiasse, Sego Royal. Flanby hoped dating the good-looking T Swift would salvage his presidency and boost his chances in the 2017 presidential election. However, the relationship only lasted between September 2016 and January 2017. During their relationship, Taylor Swift re-released her 2013 hit '22' as '75', in honour of Flanby's proposed tax rate.

In March 2017, Taylor Swift released a new hit single, "We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together", similar to her original 2012 single "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together". After the release of the song in France, Flanby's approval ratings fell from 21% to 15%.

After a concert in Mexico City in October 2017, Taylor Swift was seen several times alongside then-Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, sparking rumours that he was no longer living with his second wife, Angélica Rivera. After the end of his term, an American tabloid alleged that EPN was the father of T Swift's two kids, one boy and one girl, born in 2019. By then, the 'couple' had broken up, though EPN and two of his daughters appeared at a Taylor Swift concert in Cancun in January 2021. EPN has denied having had kids out of wedlock (again), and current President PauPen - EPN's daughter - has also denied these allegations.

In 2023, Senator Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker (R-PA) tried to date Taylor Swift, but promptly failed when he started talking to her about "the genocide of the whites in South Africa" on their first date and told her that "feminism must be subordinated to the white working-class' struggle" . Taylor Swift's 2024 hit single "Weirdo" was likely written in reference to the Senator. In an interview in 2024, Taylor Swift claimed that the Senator, from his official and personal email had emailed several times talking about "some sh**t he called cogendism or something" and "random rants about white miners, Nelson Mandela being a neoliberal, the gay agenda, guns and the revolution". After receiving no answer, Snowstalker shot back with an angry email telling T Swift to "take personal responsibility for herself". Half an hour later, he sent another email - this time saying he "would stop trolling" and saying "Taylor, i have a career in politics; can you just take that out my last email".


Taylor Swift, asked about her relationship with Gabe 'the Babe'

To this day, Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker hates Taylor Swift for being the victim of her quickest breakup ever (the previous record was one month, T Swift broke up with Gabe 'the Babe' within three days). Snowstalker's unauthorized biographer 'pkemp' claims that his taste for "horrible music like Skillrex" and "horrible girls who like sh**t like Skillrex" is due to resentments due to the T Swift breakup. In the Cogendist Republic of Rhodesia, Taylor Swift's music is banned as "counterrevolutionary hedonist propaganda" and anybody caught listening to her music is automatically sentenced to 15 years in prison.

In 2025, Taylor Swift briefly dated Greek Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis. The two split up within three months, but on good terms (critics claim that the Greek government threatened to sue her if she wrote some nasty song about Gaelos L'Herminakis). In 2026, L'Herminakis married 'Sammie Nikitheshiwawa'.

Between 2025 and 2030, Taylor Swift has largely given up on dating, and takes care of her two kids. She is not active in politics, but her close involvement with international politicians has made her something of an activist. In July 2030, she founded the "Taylor Swift Foundation for Democracy in Zimbabwe". In a statement, President Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker called T Swift a "vile racist" and claimed that her foundation/NGO was funded by "neoliberal banksters".