The 10 biggest federal income tax breaks (and how much they cost)

[krazen1211]

Dear wormyguy,

Thank you for your explanation of how to get rich. Unfortunately I never have good ideas, I don't have the money to enter exclusive universities, I don't want to fake getting along with rich people (or their daddies), don't have time to learn how to program an app because I'm busy trying not to be homeless, and I hate the smell of old people. In fact, I don't even want to be rich. I don't have the motivation or energy to start my own business, be my own boss, or even think of an idea to sell.

I just want to work eight hours a day and get paid more than what I need. I would be interested in buying a house someday, and I promise I don't waste my money. I don't think I should earn as much as those who have exclusive skills. I just want to be comfortable. I have just as much worth to society as the more intelligent, more socially apt, and in fact perhaps I'm better because I'm not cunning, ruthless, or greedy. We live in a first world country. Why should I needlessly suffer when there is plenty of money for everyone? Why should they benefit so many orders of magnitude more than me, doing my small part?

Yours truly,
Most people

Dear "Most People,"

Thank you for your letter this morning.  We appreciate your concerns.  Please forgive the form-letter nature of this reply, as we are very busy, working more, on average, than any other income group of people.  In fact, among us "super-rich," we tend to work 60 hours a week or more.  If we are doctors or surgeons, we are on call 24 hours a day and seven days a week.  If we are lawyers, we must spend every waking minute attending to our client's needs, or we will lose our cases and our reputation.  If we run a business, we are always the first to come in and the last to leave, and the one who must stay awake at night worrying about every conceivable threat to the company's future.

It is unfortunate that you rarely have good ideas.  We don't always have good ideas either, but the good ideas we have are really, really good.  If you could not benefit from the good ideas that people like us have had, you would still be living in a grass-roofed hut and studying entrails to forecast the next rainfall.  Actually, among those of us who have good ideas, all that we have made is because of people like you, who have chosen, of their own free will, to pay us their own money for what we have created.  Thank you, even if the feeling is unrequited.

We are also sorry that you did not enter an "exclusive university."  Not all of us or even a majority went to such a university ourselves, but we will speak for those who did.  Contrary to popular belief, the most exclusive universities (in the US) typically also have the most generous financial aid packages and often cover the entire tuition of undergraduates whose families cannot pay full-rate.  They are also in love with stories about "overcoming adversity," unless you are a white person from Appalachia or the Deep South.*  The way most of us got into such an exclusive university is by working hard - really hard - during high school.  While you were toking under the bleachers, vegging out on video games, daydreaming about your classmates, or shoving us into lockers, we were hard at work doing with excellence every last shred of work the teacher assigned and more.  It is probably not surprising that businesses looked at us first instead of you when seeking to fill positions that required both high intelligence and very strong work ethic.

We understand that you do not have the wherewithal and drive to start your own business or be your own boss.  Again, that's true for most of us as well.  But let us now speak for those of us who did.  We are the ones who really understand why you don't want to try it yourself.  There's not many people who would take every last cent to their name and every penny they could borrow to make an investment which is extremely likely to fail.  There are not many who would work 80, 90 hour weeks at no pay - negative pay, maxing out every credit card and overdrafting every bank account to pay for your expenses, in a state of perpetual panic that you won't become profitable in time, reduced to begging for new investors.  And even if you're successful, that's what you'd be doing for the first few years or so.  The fact is that the vast majority of new businesses fail.  Even the ones which technically succeed rarely feature proprietors who work less or earn more than they would otherwise.  If anyone claims that the business they started was easy or quickly turned a profit, they're lying, or they got into and out of the right racket (internet, real estate, "apps") at the right time.  Even in that case they're probably still lying.

In fact, we successful entrepreneurs usually are not on our first try.  That's right; we took years off our lives with toil and worry, borrowed and begged for every dime we could get, and for our efforts were left broken and bankrupt, and yes, homeless.  And then we did it all again, at least once.  You may be asking, so what?  Well, for one, every employee job that exists exists because of one of us.  It is because one of us embarked on that insane journey that you have the opportunity to live a first-world lifestyle such as our own.  And are we thanked for this, doing what you admit you cannot do for yourself?  No, we're always the bad guy, the "asshole," "greedy," "evil," you name it, for choosing to, with our own money and effort, create something that is pleasing to you the consumer, and using what we make from that to hire and pay you the worker.  We don't ask for thanks, because most of us actually aren't narcissists, or at least any more narcissistic than anyone who would assume that anyone more successful than themselves must have gotten to that point by being a bad person.

We get it.  You take us for granted.  You think "that doesn't look so hard!" or "anyone could do that!"  You do not stop to consider what would happen if people stopped trying to start new businesses, or if the tax and regulatory compliance burden were ratcheted up another few notches when most of us can remember a point when all that stood between us and bankruptcy was a few hundred dollars or less.  You could even say it benefits us, by keeping out the competition, but we are naturally empathetic people.  We want others to succeed where we have succeeded.  And yes, maybe we are somewhat special people, and maybe we do contribute to society more than most, and maybe we do deserve to make a bit more, or even quite a bit more of what you yourselves have chosen to give us.

So we are left at a bit of a quandary.  Why is it that "most people" think that we are somehow immoral for doing exactly what "most people" would do in our position, whether investing for our retirements, minimizing our tax burdens (like absolutely everyone including yourself does), or providing for our children?  Such horrible crimes against humanity are sociopathic and evil, according to some.  To that we can only shake our heads.

We don't hate you, most of us used to be one of you.  Many of us are first or second-generation immigrants who came to this country with nothing.  Nearly all of us have worked sh[inks]y jobs just like you.  We get it.  Do you get us?

Sincerely yours,

"Rich People"

*We assume that your "most people" is the one that likewise sneers with hostility at those "most people."

Pwned!

[krazen1211]

The biggest tax break is people who sit at home instead of working so they aren't taxed at all.

Link

Yet inside, a young woman has tapped into a home-based money-making operation that netted her and her three sisters more than half a million in taxpayer dollars since 2006.

And they did it with the blessing of the state.

All four had been in-home child-care providers. Collectively they have 17 children. For years, the government has paid them to stay home and care for each other's children.