Do "nice guys finish last"?

[Antonio the Sixth]

Can we have a discussion about this topic that doesn't either fall into sexist tropes or is unfairly dismissive of the argument? I think differentiated gender expectations with regard to assertiveness in romantic relationships are a serious problem for men and women alike.

[Gustaf]

Some women like bad boys, most women like men who are 'confident' and some women like insecure guys. Everyone needs to find a way to find romantic partners as well as friends and there is not much use in blaming society for it.

[Reaganfan]

Nice guys don't finish last....they finish in the shower. (Two and a Half Men)

In reality, it depends on the person themselves. It's very easy to generalize and in many cases books can be judged by their covers. But other times it's about perception. Take me for instance.

I never did so much as go on a date until I was 20 years old. I still live at home. Yet I have dated more girls than I can count. What's funniest of all? My biggest time period of dating the most girls occurred when I was without money and unemployed. In fact, my date life has gone sour since I've been making steady money. Perhaps less time focused on getting girls and more focus on getting money. Whatever the case, you would assume working and being around more people and having money would make you more attractive than being unemployed and without money.

There was a girl I dated a year and a half ago, with whom I'm still friends with today. We talk all the time but we just didn't remain in a relationship longer than a few months. This girl is close to my age, and gorgeous. She's hot. She liked that I played guitar and she liked my red hair.

We were a hot item together. I remember one day we spent the whole day and night together during which time we took this picture.



That night I went to my work. A girl I worked with who was 19 years old came up to me with an awkward smile. She asked if she could ask me a personal question. I said, "Sure."

She asked, "Are you a virgin?" I was slightly offended. Here I am, just a few hours after doing the naughty with my hot 19 year old girlfriend and another hot 19 year old girl thinks I am a virgin. Later that same night, me and another worker were talking about guitars. Another girl I work with said, "Mike...you play guitar??" I said, "Yeah, why?" She said, "You don't look like you'd play guitar, you look like you'd play the tuba."

Again, I was insulted. These girls look at me and see a redheaded Tuba-playing virgin. When in reality, I'm a redheaded guitar-playing womanizer.

It's the way I am perceived. I do often feel out of the times. One step behind. The best example of that is a picture from after my sister's wedding. All the guys from the wedding party were walking "Reservoir Dogs" style down the sidewalk and suddenly everyone decided to grab each other's hands and jump in the air for a picture. I tried, but as you can see from the photo, I was the only one who didn't think, "Let's all be youthful goofballs and jump in the air holding hands."



I was one step behind.

[Lief 🗽]

The quality of this thread just increased exponentially.

Thank you, Naso.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

The quality of this thread just increased exponentially.

Thank you, Naso.

^^^^^^^

God Bless Naso.

[Keystone Phil]

I wanted to avoid this thread because I have very strong personal opinions on this but it was brought to my attention that Naso weighed in. I had to visit. I wasn't disappointed. It's a real shame (for me, at least) that Naz has dated more women that I have.

Has Naso ever told the story of his first encounter or described the individual that he lost his virginity to? One word I have for the entire situation as I know it: yikes.

[opebo]

Has Naso ever told the story of his first encounter or described the individual that he lost his virginity to? One word I have for the entire situation as I know it: yikes.

Transvestite?  Old lady?  A fellow ginger?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Has Naso ever told the story of his first encounter or described the individual that he lost his virginity to? One word I have for the entire situation as I know it: yikes.

Transvestite?  Old lady?  A fellow ginger?

I'm going married woman with a jealous husband. 

[King]

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Yes, and here's proof:

[President Tyrion]

Do nice guys finish at all?

Im also reminded of the scene from Season One of Game of Thrones.

"You dont fihht with honor" "No, but he did"

Yes, I said that.

[Bacon King]

Posting this here because relevance

[tpfkaw]

In as much as "nice guy" is taken to mean "unattractive socially-disabled nerds," yes, duh.

In a broader sense women are indeed by-and-large more attracted to more "masculine"/high-testosterone men.

[opebo]

Posting this here because relevance

You know very well that this is strawmanning, Bacon.  In fact the point is that 'niceness' is unattractive to women, and the converse is attractive.  This has nothing to do with anyone 'expecting something for being nice'.