Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Joe Biden 2020]

Hi, guys!  I have been away since Thursday, but I'm alive and well.  It is 18:30 in Kisumu and we're about to eat dinner at 19:00.  I couldn't get wifi in Brussels so I was forced to go on a 42 hour wifi fast.  My sponsor kids knew me right away and spotted me before I spotted them.  They ran to me, hugged me, and hollered to me "Daddy".  We are all pretty jet lagged, so I think we will all turn in early.  I'll post more later.

[Joe Republic]

Shut up Bushie, Morden is telling a story.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Good Evening again folks!  It has it’s been very busy and wonderful all at the same time although now I have a massive migraine unfortunately.

God has blessed me and my heart is so happy right now!  Seeing my kids, spending time with them and with the other children makes my heart sing with joy!  I’m going to enjoy church with them tomorrow and next Sunday as well.  I'm so happy it's going to be hard to sleep!

Things are coming along just fine but there is much work to do.  You guys would be proud that I have to drink so much water during the day.  I hope it helps.

Mom is going to talk to Dad while I’m gone.  She knows what my long term goals are and what is in my heart.  Since it’s just the two of them she can share my goals about Kenya with him.  I think he will be accepting.  I’m thinking I can be here full time within a few years, hopefully 2015 but not much later than 2016 and really be a Dad to my kids.

I’ll try and update you again soon!

[Gustaf]

If you fly Norwegian Air, which is a low-cost airline, you get free WiFi on board. I've used it on plenty of flights across Europe.

[Brittain33]

Did you see the real Bushie in Africa?

http://nyti.ms/131NDZ4

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

And it begins...

[King]

What have you eaten over there Bushie?

[Brittain33]

Good Evening again folks!  It has it’s been very busy and wonderful all at the same time although now I have a massive migraine unfortunately.

Keep us posted, Jeff.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I think it's important to note that CAD will never happen. I'm happy he's happy though.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Good Evening again folks!  It has it’s been very busy and wonderful all at the same time although now I have a massive migraine unfortunately.

God has blessed me and my heart is so happy right now!  Seeing my kids, spending time with them and with the other children makes my heart sing with joy!  I’m going to enjoy church with them tomorrow and next Sunday as well.  I'm so happy it's going to be hard to sleep!

Things are coming along just fine but there is much work to do.  You guys would be proud that I have to drink so much water during the day.  I hope it helps.

Mom is going to talk to Dad while I’m gone.  She knows what my long term goals are and what is in my heart.  Since it’s just the two of them she can share my goals about Kenya with him.  I think he will be accepting.  I’m thinking I can be here full time within a few years, hopefully 2015 but not much later than 2016 and really be a Dad to my kids.

I’ll try and update you again soon!

Very good work, VanderGrumpsblubb!  Bravo!

[memphis]

Good Evening again folks!  It has it’s been very busy and wonderful all at the same time although now I have a massive migraine unfortunately.

God has blessed me and my heart is so happy right now!  Seeing my kids, spending time with them and with the other children makes my heart sing with joy!  I’m going to enjoy church with them tomorrow and next Sunday as well.  I'm so happy it's going to be hard to sleep!

Things are coming along just fine but there is much work to do.  You guys would be proud that I have to drink so much water during the day.  I hope it helps.

Mom is going to talk to Dad while I’m gone.  She knows what my long term goals are and what is in my heart.  Since it’s just the two of them she can share my goals about Kenya with him.  I think he will be accepting.  I’m thinking I can be here full time within a few years, hopefully 2015 but not much later than 2016 and really be a Dad to my kids.

I’ll try and update you again soon!

I bought it 100%. Impressive!

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Thanks, Kids.  Bushie kinda screwed it up by posting when he did, but I figured you were all so desperate you'd fall for it hook, line, and sinker.  

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Thanks, Kids.  Bushie kinda screwed it up by posting when he did, but I figured you were all so desperate you'd fall for it hook, line, and sinker.  

You know, I even saw your avatar and name in another thread, and I still bought it... You're a tricky little devil!

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Thanks, Kids.  Bushie kinda screwed it up by posting when he did, but I figured you were all so desperate you'd fall for it hook, line, and sinker.  

You know, I even saw your avatar and name in another thread, and I still bought it... You're a tricky little devil!

Never has there been a better time to revive one of The Blubb's imitation treasures.    It won't work again for years.....but I'm patient

[Mr. Morden]

The Adventures of Hobo Orgy Guy and Blondie (....in progress)

Episode 2: "Not Living Up to My Fatherly Duties"

[We pick up from last time.  Holographic Bushie stands before Blondie and Hog.]

Hog: What is this?  A hologram from the future?!?  You're just that little @$%^ who took away my favorite place for orgies by patrolling the property.

Yes sir, that is me.  I'm BushOklahoma.  Or should I say NasoOklahoma, since I voted for President Naso in the last election?  Or maybe I should go by NasoKenya?  Anyway, yes, I'm actually in the year 2035.  But with Rainbow Holographic Systems, I'm projecting myself back in time to you.  I appear in the form of a hologram that only you can see and hear, Hog.

Blondie: But I can see and hear you too.

That's a good dog.  Yes, J.J.  You can see me too.  Animals and children under five can see me too.  But Hog is the only adult who can see me.

Blondie: Please don't call me J.J.

Oh, but I'm just so happy to see you.  And back when you were a puppy too!  If I weren't a hologram, I'd be loving all over you.

Blondie: Can we move on?

Sure.  Anyway, I was tracking that tornado that hit you, posting about it in my group on NSAbook.

Blondie: NSAbook?

It's a popular social networking site in 2035.  It doesn't give you any privacy.  But I'm always careful not to share too much on the internet anyway, so it works for me.

Anyway, I was following the storm, and tracked you here.  That storm has transported you across great distances of time and space.  Several years have passed since that tornado has whisked you away.

Hog: What?  You're saying that *we're* in the future now too?  Get your story straight.  I thought you were in the future.

Well, yes, you've been transported into the future, but I'm farther in the future.  You see....

Blondie: Don't be ridiculous Bushie.  We haven't gone very far at all.  There's your mobile home just over that way.

[Blondie starts running over to the Bushie family mobile home.  Hog starts to walk briskly in the same direction.]

You're going to walk all the way over there?  That's practically in another time zone!

Hog: What are you talking about?  We'll be there in about two minutes.

That's too far for me.  What if it starts snowing on the way?  I can't risk it.

[A holographic golf cart appears, and Bushie gets into it, and starts making his way to the Bushie family house.  About five minutes later, Blondie and Hog are standing in front of the Bushie family estate, waiting for holo-Bushie to arrive.  He slowly pulls up in his golf cart, Big Mac in hand.]

Sorry.  Had to stop for something to eat.  No time to make a meal on my own.  Only McDonald's drive through available.

Blondie: There's a McDonald's drive through in the middle of your imaging chamber, or wherever it is you are in the future?

Never mind that.  Listen--

[Suddenly, a man emerged from the Bushie family home.]

RickRoll!  You've woken up.

RickRoll: Bushie, is that you?  Your hair's a bit grayer, and you're even fatter than I remember you, but it is you, isn't it?....But how did you know I was asleep?  I'd been wandering around after that tornado, found that tree over there (points), and fell asleep for a while.  Then I wake up, my beard's really long and I have some gray in my hair, so I find my way into this trailer park and found some rotting food in this home, but also a razor, so I shaved off the beard.  Then I come out here, and see you and your friend here with a talking dog?  What the smurf are you doing here?  It's kind of like that time in college when--

Look, this is my story.  You all can't keep interrupting me when--

Blondie: Wait a minute, how can he see you?  I thought Hog was the only adult human who could see you?  Are you telling us the whole truth?

(flustered) Well, Hog plus children under 5 plus animals plus people who went to college with me.  No, I'm not hiding the truth from you, it's just complicated.  Look, I'm telling the truth and I'm not a liar.  I haven't failed at hologramming.

Now come on, it seems like the Lord wants you here for a reason.  He's dropped off Hog and J.J. from the tornado, and put RickRoll to sleep only to wake up now.  You both came from roughly the same time in 2013, so He must have something special planned for you.

I have to tell you what's happened in the world since you departed.

It all started the week that I was in Kenya, when the US Supreme Court handed down their decision on gay marriage.  Justice Kennedy tried to draft a decision that was very narrowly tailored on states' rights, but because of a typographical error on page 185 of the decision, he ended up giving every state the right to decide on marriage issues except Oklahoma.  In Oklahoma, not only was gay marriage made legal, but every adult male was legally *required* to gay marry another adult male.  While most Oklahoman men were unhappy about participating in a sin, they had no choice, because the law's the law.  This led to--

[Bushie stops to take a bite out of his hamburger.]

Good grief, this is exhausting.  This is all the exposition I can take for now.  Look, there's an easier way for me to give you this information.  If you go in the new attachment to the trailer, you can find all my Dad's gizmos.  In this era, it's possible to just plug implants into your watches, and it'll transmit to you all the information you need.  You can find out all about Fredward and all of the terrible things that have happened since that tornado.

Blondie: Fredward?

Yeah, and sorry.  But it only works for people, not dogs.  Hog and RickRoll can plug themselves in, learn everything they need to know, and then fill in J.J. separately.  I'll stay out here and try to play fetch with J.J., even though I'm only a hologram.

Blondie: Kill me now.

[Hog and RickRoll made their way to the workshop in the Bushie home, found the implants for their watches that holo-Bushie had told them about, and plugged themselves in.  It all started flooding their minds: The Supreme Court ruling, as Bushie had explained, the fact that Oklahoman men were forced to gay marry, starting in 2013.

And then......the fertility treatments.  While the Christian men of Oklahoma deplored the fact that they had to marry each other, they knew they had to at least obey the Lord's commandment to be fruitful and multiply.  There still had to be subsequent generations of Oklahomans.  So they embraced a new, experimental fertility treatment that allowed men to become pregnant, to produce the offspring of two men.  The male/male married couples of Oklahoma began producing these offspring, but only within the participating fertility clinics (all fully paid for for those who had Ameriplan Insurance).

The first pregnant man was Frederick, who produced a child with his husband Edward.  They named their son Fredward.  Subsequently, other married couples began producing children who took on hybrid names of their parents, and on it went for some time.....

Hog and RickRoll snapped out of it, and immediately sang a song about what they had learned.  It went just like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNhXYmJ0G8c ]


TO BE CONTINUED....

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Sure.  Anyway, I was tracking that tornado that hit you, posting about it in my group on NSAbook.

Blondie: NSAbook?

It's a popular social networking site in 2035.  It doesn't give you any privacy.

We have something like that here in 2013.  It's called Facebook, but at least you can still keep your privacy by not using it.  Sounds like in 2035, you have to use NSAbook or else.

[Joe Biden 2020]

The sun is rising over Western Kenya.  The dawn of a beautiful day.  The temperature is 61 with a high of 84 expected under partly cloudy skies.

[King]

Ah yes Kenya's famed western sunrises.

[Keystone Phil]

Our Dear Friend is sporting a blue avatar. Is he a Republican again or does he just identify with a Kenyan right wing party during his trip?

[Brittain33]

Our Dear Friend is sporting a blue avatar. Is he a Republican again or does he just identify with a Kenyan right wing party during his trip?

He mentioned earlier that he believes America will be ready for a Republican President in 2016, so he will line up with that.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Day 2 is complete.  I had some proud moments with my kids.  I was able to worship with them this morning.  We hung out all afternoon.  To top it off, I was able to go shoe shopping for them.  I bought them both a pair of school shoes and socks as well as a children's wrist watch.

[WalterMitty]

yes, i think the cad dream has died.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Walter, the CAD dream is still alive and well!  However, I'm about to settle on a goal date on moving here.  I'm thinking Autumn 2017 or so.  Even if the orphanage is not ready, I will move into an Apartment in either Kisumu or Nairobi.  I want to work with CAD for at least two years first while taking one more trip here.  I do want to intern for a summer first in 2015 or 2016.  So, I am keeping alive both dreams - Ft Worth and Kenya.

[Keystone Phil]

Breaking per Facebook: Our Dear Friend may cancel his return flight from Kenya.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I'm not going to cancel it, but I could leave anytime they say they are ready.