Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

When is the bride's due date Bushie? 

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

There are no tigers in Kenya.

Oh My!

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

What an appropriate day - National Doughtnut Day - to start a new Update! Don't worry, guys. Our Dear Friend will celebrate by eating only three doughnuts. Strict diet.

Actually, donuts are not on the menu today.

Due to your busy schedule is fast food on the menu?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Woohoo!  Since roughly May 10, I have lost 7.2 pounds!  I have gone from a high of 275.0 down to a current weight of 267.8.  Other than these darn headaches, I am starting to feel better, too!  This weight loss is largely without major exercise, too.  If I can get into exercising, I'll be doing even better.  I have a modest goal of 1 pound a week.  Nothing too elaborate, but still consistent.

ftfy

I'm ashamed I had to google what that meant...  "Fixed that for you."

She shouldn't have had anything to fix, is the point.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Did every pastor in Jokelahama refuse to marry these people that they had to turn to Bushie, and is Bushie licensed to perform weddings?  Why didn't your infamous pastor cousin marry them?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Did they invite you to the reception and what is wrong with your pastor cousin that they would choose a lay minister over a pro?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Did they invite you to the reception and what is wrong with your pastor cousin that they would choose a lay minister over a pro?

They did invite me to the reception.  There is nothing wrong with my pastor cousin.  I've known the bride since she was a baby and she asked me Wednesday night if I would marry them.  I know most of her family, as well, sister, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  During the reception time, though, especially toward the end, I'll be shifting my focus toward clean up and preparation for Sunday Morning Worship.  The reception will start at 1900 and I'm going to ask them tonight to start cleaning up about 2100 as we'll need to get home and get to bed.  I want to be home by 2300, so I can get to bed by 0000.

Bushie are you sure Dukey wasn't right when he asked if this was a shotgun wedding?  I mean asking you Wednesday for a Saturday service seems like one to me?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie are you sure Dukey wasn't right when he asked if this was a shotgun wedding?  I mean asking you Wednesday for a Saturday service seems like one to me?

Well, shotgun weddings are a time honoured Southern tradition

Brilliant.  Seems like a shady pastor in this picture too....

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie, did you go for free doughnut day? I'm in line for one right now!

No but he lied and went to McDonalds. He's fatter than he says.  Nice pic Bushie.  At least your friend is cute.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

The worst thing about Inks's insane jail warden act is that it's impossible to put him on ignore.

If Inks was my father I'd slit my wrists.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie needs to get drunk and bang a bridesmaid and tell us about it. We need more entertainment here.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

The worst thing about Inks's insane jail warden act is that it's impossible to put him on ignore.

If Inks was my father I'd slit my wrists.

Should I draw your bath for you, or would you like to do that?

Awwwww. Inks feels picked on.  You can post sh**t that's death post worthy but can't take a few arrows yourself. Poor Nathan.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

The worst thing about Inks's insane jail warden act is that it's impossible to put him on ignore.

If Inks was my father I'd slit my wrists.

Should I draw your bath for you, or would you like to do that?

Awwwww. Inks feels picked on.  You can post sh**t that's death post worthy but can't take a few arrows yourself. Poor Nathan.

I don't feel picked on at all.  I just think that after all the harping you used to do on Jeff, you don't really have room to talk.  I really couldn't care less what you think about me.

Harping isn't vicious personal attacks and I interject plenty if humor as well. You are flat out nasty.  But as you noted my opinion of you doesn't matter so no need for more back and forth I suppose.  Put me on iggy since I can't put you on it here, sadly.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie the title of this season hurts my eyes. Can you change it?  Thx.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie the title of this season hurts my eyes. Can you change it?  Thx.

Nothing to stop you from putting in your own subject line for all of your own posts on this thread.  Maybe this can be a "choose your own adventure" Update season, where everybody picks their own title.

Of course But I prefer a more permanent solution.  How about just "Oh My"?  That seems to sum up this thread perfectly anyway.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I made some questionable decisions concerning the bride's sister last night at that wedding. Good thing it's over now.

That's my good Greek boy.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding.  Why do your no alcohol friends hate Jesus? 

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

prediction:  this whole cad thing gets thrown out the window when bushie returns from kenya.  he will hatch some new scheme to return to 'his country' to be with 'his babies.'

might be best.  i dont think his heart is in this cad endeavor.

I'm thinking the same thing. We know how he said he was an African and had children to care for "back home" when he came home the first time. He's sort of tapered that insane rhetoric, but I imagine it will come back in full force in a few weeks.

"Re: I have a HUGE opportunity (Attention Whoring)
« Reply #643 on: March 29, 2012, 06:53:34 pm »  
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Dukey, I'm not doing anything right away, but it will eventually happen. I still have work to do in Oklahoma for a little while longer, but the way I'm seeing it now, I could be an "American-African" within the next 15-24 months.  It definitely won't happen in 2012, and it very likely won't happen until the latter half of 2013 at the very earliest.  I'm also not going until I have a way to make a living down there lined up without becoming another mouth to feed.  I'm consulting with many different trusted friends and advisors.  I'm talking with missionary friends in China and South Africa.  I'm talking to the mother of the South African missionary.  I'm also consulting with some very trusted family advisors (not my parents, quite yet).  I'm also consulting with my current pastor and his wife as well as my former pastor and his wife (the same couple whose daughter is in S Africa).  I'm also consulting with a former college advisor who is well experienced in mission work.  I've got many different people to consult with before I make any kind of efforts to move.  Rest assured, though, while I feel like I could be on the next flight out, I also have work to do in Oklahoma to prepare me to go down to Africa.  Nothing is going to happen within the next 15 months, I can guarantee that, and that's bare minimum.  God's Will, I believe, is for me to move to Kenya eventually, but not for at least 15-24 months if not a little longer.  Right now, I just have a deep, deep longing to be "home" in Kisumu, Kenya, and I know I will get home eventually."

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

God bless Our Dear Friend but he's almost certainly the type that puts ketchup on his spaghetti. Ketchup already disgusts me. If I was ever in the presence of someone putting ketchup on their pasta, I'd literally vomit.

Why do you find that so repulsive?
 
(putting it on pasta is the primary use of ketchup in my neck of the woods, so you better stay far away from Scandinavia)

Well, Phil, being the italian stallion around here, naturally finds it repulsive......but I agree with him and I suspect many here do as well......it's just gross.  A tomato based sauce is normal.....ketchup......disgusting.  IMO.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

People actually put ketchup on pasta?!

I think its fairly common unless you have a Mediterranean background.

Dukey and I are Greek, and Phil's Italian, so you might be onto something there.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I literally want to barf, politicus. 

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie, are you motivated enough to walk today, or is it just bad food and sitting around?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie, why don't you just say 'something hit my windshield'? I haven't seen a single person here who thinks your working theory holds up as well as you think it does, unless your driveway goes through some hitherto uncharted range of mountains.

Ever wonder if he exaggerates about his supposed weight loss the same way?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Wait, you blow off the dietician for a month when they have free mobile windshield services that can come at any time?

Are you needing an extra month so she doesn't bitch at you for not following her advice? 

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I suspect another "rock" will "hit" the windshield around July 8-9, requiring an urgent visit to the garage on July 10 at 1pm.

Wait, isn't he going to be in Kenya on July 10th?