Re-elect The People's Ticket Duke and Matt (On Our Re-election)

[MyRescueKittehRocks]

What is your problem with right to work? Mandated union membership is the criminal act here.

I think he was referring to at-will employment, not right-to-work.

Yeah, sorry. I miss referenced it. I meant at will employment. 

But it doesn't interfere with management firing based off performance related reasons?. Ok. Had it been banning individuals from choosing not to be part of a union, we would have a massive problem.

[MyRescueKittehRocks]

What is your problem with right to work? Mandated union membership is the criminal act here.

It isn't in Atlasia. We have the closed shop across the country, as per the Labor Rights Act of 2012.

Shops shouldn't be closed. Non-Union labor should be allowed to compete for those jobs.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

What is your problem with right to work? Mandated union membership is the criminal act here.

I think he was referring to at-will employment, not right-to-work.

Yeah, sorry. I miss referenced it. I meant at will employment.  

But it doesn't interfere with management firing based off performance related reasons?. Ok. Had it been banning individuals from choosing not to be part of a union, we would have a massive problem.

No, no. Joining a union is a choice someone can make, but I oppose forcing or coercing anyone to join if they don't want to be a part of one. I'm about freedom of choice and freedom of association, which is a constitutional right.

At will employment means you can fire someone for arbitrary reasons, and after my mother was fired for no reason at all from her job of 25 years, I became a staunch opponent of that practice. If you want to fire someone, you should have a reason to do it (performance, crime, financial reasons, etc), not because you don't like drinking with them after work.

I was typing the speech in class and got the terms switched. My mistake, but I corrected it now.

[TNF]

What is your problem with right to work? Mandated union membership is the criminal act here.

It isn't in Atlasia. We have the closed shop across the country, as per the Labor Rights Act of 2012.

Shops shouldn't be closed. Non-Union labor should be allowed to compete for those jobs.

k, but the law is the law and we have the closed shop in atlasia

[MyRescueKittehRocks]

What is your problem with right to work? Mandated union membership is the criminal act here.

It isn't in Atlasia. We have the closed shop across the country, as per the Labor Rights Act of 2012.

Shops shouldn't be closed. Non-Union labor should be allowed to compete for those jobs.

k, but the law is the law and we have the closed shop in atlasia

And that will be a changing

[TNF]

What is your problem with right to work? Mandated union membership is the criminal act here.

It isn't in Atlasia. We have the closed shop across the country, as per the Labor Rights Act of 2012.

Shops shouldn't be closed. Non-Union labor should be allowed to compete for those jobs.

k, but the law is the law and we have the closed shop in atlasia

And that will be a changing

Good luck with that! Maybe the 885th campaign you run for Senate will make that a reality.

[MyRescueKittehRocks]

What is your problem with right to work? Mandated union membership is the criminal act here.

It isn't in Atlasia. We have the closed shop across the country, as per the Labor Rights Act of 2012.

Shops shouldn't be closed. Non-Union labor should be allowed to compete for those jobs.

k, but the law is the law and we have the closed shop in atlasia

And that will be a changing

Good luck with that! Maybe the 885th campaign you run for Senate will make that a reality.

It's more like my 7th or 8th try.

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

What is your problem with right to work? Mandated union membership is the criminal act here.

It isn't in Atlasia. We have the closed shop across the country, as per the Labor Rights Act of 2012.

Shops shouldn't be closed. Non-Union labor should be allowed to compete for those jobs.

k, but the law is the law and we have the closed shop in atlasia

And that will be a changing

Good luck with that! Maybe the 885th campaign you run for Senate will make that a reality.

It's more like my 7th or 8th try.

SPC made it in after eight times I think. Now that was a fun election. First vote I ever cast, albeit invalid.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

The People's Call to Arms

Shortly, the voting booth will open and Atlasia will head to the polls to elect their next President. As I was planning my evening, I was thinking about how I wanted to spend the first night of the election. It is Thirsty Thursday, after all, and the Duke/UNC basketball game is also on TV, and I have a bottle of bourbon that I am nursing like a mother nurses her newly born. So I poured a glass and decided to spend it with you, the lifeblood of this game.

Friends, elections are never easy. You are bombarded with speeches, ads, signs and threats, but who cares. When you enter the booth tonight, think of The People. Think of their faces, their bright eyes, their smiles, their voices shouting from above the hills, hands in the air like only Lorde would want to see. Think of every small child, every young boy, and every hard worker. Think of how they would feel when you pulled the lever for your preferred candidate. If you believe in the Power of The People, Their beliefs, Their skills, Their love, then vote for Their torch bearing Ticket. This election is full of solid candidates, candidates that have worked hard to earn your vote, but there is only one Ticket of The People, the one that can pull honey from the beehive and ride the unicorn from the field back to their house, all while taking a moment to admire the trees, nature’s beauty, and the creation that The People presided over.

When you hear the butterflies fluttering from beyond the hills, think of Atlasia, this majestic country, and how we are all connected in the circle of life. There is only one Ticket that feels what The People feel so intensely that they sacrificed their lives and reputations to serve the Demands of The People, to shoulder the criticisms like Christ shouldered the sins of the world.

Tonight, I am not asking merely for a vote in the ballot box, but a vote of confidence. Let’s continue this historic journey together, lets put food in every child’s mouth, let’s embrace every attractive girl, and let’s hold hands, kiss each other on the mouth, and plow ahead like a farmer in a field of corn. Now is not the time to stop, now is not the time to change course, and now is not the time to reject The People’s Ticket that has worked so hard on your behalf. When times are the darkest, The People’s torch burns brightest, and The People will rise with the strength of a thousand bulls.

Tonight, I stand before you exposed like a baby on his birthday, an open book, eagerly awaiting for the next chapter The People give me. I place my full trust in Them, for they know this nation far better than I ever will. JFK once said, ”Things do not happen. Things are made to happen. Together, we can make this happen, together, as a team, don't let your friends deny Our Love.

Do you civic duty, vote early, vote often, and vote for Duke and Matt, for love, for equality, for Atlasia, and for The People.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

"Don't ever give up. Don't ever give up."

- Jim Valvano

Stand strong, my friends. The People are still here, still fighting in the trenches. 

[Sec. of State Superique]

"Never Gonna Give you Up"

Rick Astley.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

On Our Re-election

Cheers! I just spoke with Governor Spiral, and while Senator TNF has not formally conceded, he did tell me off the record that he enjoyed taking it up the rear, so I interpreted that as a concession.

My friends, tonight, Atlasia said yes to The People. Tonight, The People once again reign victorious in another historic electoral victory, giving Them a clear mandate to continue the course set 4 months ago when a tidal wave of love, peace and goodwill swept Their ticket into office. Tonight, Atlasia said yes, sweet Duke, let’s continue this majestic journey upon your magic carpet together. We are not taking our foot off the gas. This train to hellis just gathering steam!

I want to thank my opponents, TNF and Spiral, for a fun race, one that had all ideological spectrums represented. We gave our voters a clear choice and clear buffet of directions for Atlasia, much like the Chinese buffet I ate at on Saturday - should I have Chinese? The crab legs? What about the Chinese pizza? Regardless of my eating choices, well done, my fellow Presidential candidates. I was honored to share the ballot with you.

This race wasn’t easy. In fact, it was one of the most stressful ones yet. We bled Federalist support like a stuck pig. At one point, a small boy with wide eyes and curly hair told me that people were preparing for Matt and me to get knocked out in round one. Hysteria gripped our headquarters. We started drinking - lots in fact. But on Saturday afternoon, after my hangover subsided, we saw the sun peak through the clouds, and The People’s voices began ringing like golden bells from atop the most magnificent mountain. The People don’t care how hard the struggle, They only demand that you respond to it with vigor. Right then, my heart, which had been blackened, became three sizes too big! It was finally time for us to rise, for what is likely the final race in my Atlasian career, and we did.

I want to thank my motley group of supporters from literally every party in Atlasia - Federalist, Progressive Union, and Labor. I could never have done it without you. You believed in this ticket and the future of this country when others doubted us or left us behind like a dog you don't want. The Ticket Atlasia doesn't want, but The Ticket Atlasia needs lives on.

While the pundits may once again debate on the real winner this election, the answer to me is quite clear - it is The People.

Thank you all, here’s to the next 4 months!

[Flake]

Congratulations

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Congratulations Mr President, I was happy to support you again.

[Napoleon]

Congratulations.

[Talleyrand]

Very glad to see you back for another 4 months.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Congrats

[TNF]

Congratulations on your win, Mr. President!

[PPT Spiral]

Like I said to you in private, it's good to see that you won this thing out, and you were certainly a tough opponent to topple. Congratulations on winning!

[Sopranos Republican]

Long Live The People!

(The People, celebrating our reelection.)

Friends, it has been an honor, and a great privilege to serve as your vice president. The forces at be did everything in their power to prevent this from happening, this glorious reelection that The People willed. When we were told by several pundits that we were going to have our goose cooked by the honorable Mr. Spiral, we at headquarters got very nervous.


(Even us handsome boys must eat sometimes.)

We got on the phones thanks to our wonderful volunteers, and ate our chinese buffet and drank our Jack Daniels while the results came in. As we were sweating bullets, and watching the national map, waiting for the news of our defeat to come at any minute we held hands, and then witnessed something extraordinary. We realized that as the results came in, not only were we not behind, but we were actually winning.


(And yes, drink.)

We realize that as handsome as us handsome boys are, that it wasn't anything special we did that won us this election. It was because of the fact that we had The People's blessing. The People of all backgrounds had our back, and while we certainly worked harder at this campaign than us boys should have, we realize that ultimately we won only because of all of those out there who had our backs no matter how scary things looked.


(Even us boys have to go on the road occasionally.)

It was on the road that we met some of the greatest, most talented, and incredibly handsome of The People. It was truly part of the wonderful journey meeting some of you fantastic souls out there, Duke and I traveling the open roads on our glorious, glorious bus.


(See, even the newspapers were sure we were dead.)

Finally when the glorious realization that The People's will had prevailed we couldn't help but celebrate. We realized that no matter how hard we screwed up, we were still loved by the masses, and when the final results had been delivered, we couldn't help but smile, and today we are still smiling. I walked in on Duke in the above photo, and realized that it did not matter what newspaper pundits were sure of, no, The People's will was truly the only thing that mattered, and we are more and more sure of this all today.

I would like to thank the other candidates for another nail biting, ball sweating election. TNF, and Spiral are both fantastic guys, and good personal friends. And without them The People would have not had a choice, which is of course, necessary for the continuation of democracy in our dear nation.

I'm more optimistic about the future of our nation than ever, and would like to thank all of of you for having the confidence in Duke, and I, to continue to lead this fantastic nation.  So grab hands, hold those you love/don't hate tight (depending on your personality), grab some bourbon, and let's continue to build this nation up! Thank you all, and Dave bless The People!!!!!

[Lumine]

Congratulations on a well deserved victory, Mr. President!

[Kaine for Senate '18]

FOUR MORE MONTHS!  FOUR MORE MONTHS!