September 15, 2013: A humble, ordinary Oklahoma City man named Jeff Brown aka BushOklahoma aka Bushie (henceforth referred to by his internet
nom de guerre) begins talking to a Stillwater woman named Allison.
Don't bring this out on Facebook, at all, but I am starting to talk to a lady from Stillwater. Her name is Allison and she has a degree in hotel and restaurant management. She also goes to a Baptist Church, so that part is good. We have just started talking, so its too early to see if this will go anywhere, but the few signs we have so far is positive. She is 27. I don't know much more than that right now, but anyway, that's a new development.
A perfect beginning to a typical heartland romance full of fast food dates, guilty premarital sex, and a shotgun wedding (emphasis on shotgun). Nothing particularly interesting to anyone other than a strange clique of internet weirdos...or so it appeared.
September 19th, 2013:Bushie and Allison are beginning to get serious:
It's not unrealistic to call us boyfriend/girlfriend at this point.
They begin planning their first (or should it be "first"?) meeting face-to-face.
September 20th, 2013:The online drug marketplace "Atlantis" closes down abruptly, citing non-specific "security concerns". Some theorize that the highly visible marketing tactics Atlantis was using to compete with Silk Road, the reigning king of the online drug world, attracted the attention of law enforcement and made the website an easy target. Others believe that the entire site was a scam in the first place and that now the owners are trying to take the money and cut and run. As is often the case, however, the truth was even stranger than speculators could have imagined.
None of this "internet" business got much notice in our protagonist's neck of the woods. After all, as we all know, Oklahoma only got electricity 15 years ago and the residents of the Blessed State still haven't figured out how to get porn any other way than through Playboy. Yes, the people of Oklahoma believe in keeping those good old traditions alive; they prefer to buy meth from biker gangs rather than use a "bitcoin", whatever that is.
Nevertheless, in that night's Update postings, a few cracks appeared in this carefully put together facade, suggesting that perhaps not all was as calm as it seemed at the OK Corral:
Does she know that you're posting details of your plans to get to know her, in a Biblical as well as colloquial sense no doubt, on a public internet forum?
You're right. I should cease posting about our developing friendship.
I will off Facebook and off the forum during that time, so you will have to wait until late that evening before I tell you how it went.
Don't verbiate adjectives. Unless you're trying to talk like a hit man.
I found out she wants to sponsor an Ethiopian boy and adopt a Thai baby (hopefully not one of Opie's!).
Secret conversations? Hit men? Thai babies? These suspicious details are our first hints at what's really going on here-the most ambitious criminal plot in Oklahoma history...
(to be continued)
