Is Cohabitation Immoral?

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Is it even a question?  I don't know of any Judeo Christian belief system that condones it.  So yes it is immoral unless you don't believe in Judeo Christian beliefs.  Which is totally okay.

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Still waiting for one of the immoral folks to explain why it is...

I was explained here.

No major Judeo Christian belief system condones it.  If you don't have Judeo Christian beliefs then you are in the clear.  Why worry about it?

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serious question for those answering "yes, immoral" from a Judeo-Christian standpoint.  how should we take into account the fact that in Biblical times lifespans were much shorter and people married in their early to mid teens, vs the reality now?  certainly it is much more reasonable to ask celibacy before marriage if that marriage happens as the sex drive materializes vs 10-15 years thereafter.

The rules are the rules.  If you are going to rationalize everything then why even bother?  I'm pretty sure the life spans in the Bible were not uniformly shorter.  I mean Methuselah anyone?

Cohabitation is not really something that is controversial.  You go from culture to culture all over the world on all the inhabited continents and no one is going to look at you funny because you didn't shack up with every girl you dated.

I guess the real question is what is morality.  To me if you are just going to massage a religion to condone whatever desire your other head wants then there really isn't a point to having the religion.  It's no longer a religion.  It's more of a fashion statement.  Which is fine.  I'm friends with atheists.  They are some pretty honest people.

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But the bottom line is morals can and should be rationalized.  It makes very little sense to follow them if there's no reason to.

Well you overlooked the flip side which is there is no reason not to follow them.

Besides I've spent a considerable number of years on the dating scene and with the exception of a few characters in Europe most ladies find it a positive that I have never cohabitated with anyone.  Underneath their cavalier exterior deep down they value it.  Particularly as they get older.  Once they aren't 18 or 22 anymore and real life hits they really start to value a stable guy with a code of conduct.  By your late twenties so many people have blown up their academics, career and personal life it's pretty easy to get a date just being even keeled and conservative.  Life is just simpler if you do the basics.  No one's life got screwed up because they didn't cohabitate with a woman.

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Are you an extreme Catholic or what?

Lol.  I didn't say I never got laid.  I'm just not about making babies or getting stuck in any quagmires.  I go to school and work during the week.  Some weekends I go out and drink and get laid.  But I don't get caught up in all that stuff and have a girl start living with me 24/7.  Is that the makings of an extremist?  I know most people don't live their life the way I do so I guess in a sense I am an extremist.  I'm keeping it extremely simple.  I couldn't do all the interesting things I've done in my life if there was a woman in tow.  When the time comes to settle down I will do it right.  She won't be the first person I slept with but there will be other firsts.

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Relevant and from the same study



Sexual compatibility problems my ass.

I can tell you women very greatly in how good they are in bed.  And some of that does not seem to be teachable.  The variance is so much there is no way I would get married before shopping around and there is no way I would marry someone I didn't sleep with before marrying them.  The point is not to find the craziest girl in bed, because if they are crazy in bed they tend to be crazy out of bed.  The point is to find an acceptable balance.

On the other hand ignorance is bliss.  So I suppose if you are both virgins you won't know any better.  I have always suspected that is why premarital sex and adultery and almost universally frowned upon by major religions.  It does make society a bit more stable.

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The idea that, five years into the 21st century, there was still one third of the voters who answered yes, scares the sh*t out of me.

Lol!  Wut?

So if you brought a girl home who had live out of wedlock with some other dude for three years and your mother said she frowned upon that type of behavior it would "scare the sh*t" out of you?

My advice?  Grow a pair.  Newsflash, in life sometimes you encounter people who disagree with you.

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That's got nothing to do with Link's post (who supports cohabitation IIRC). Antonio et al said that it's "scares the sh*t out of me" that so many people think it's immoral. Now I enjoy making people crap themselves with my mind as much as the next guy, but this is a bit much.

People have views that other people think is absurd. There's no reason to reach for the fainting couch when someone merely disapproves of a behavior.

I don't condone nor engage in cohabitation, but that is immaterial.  I have my own personal code of conduct that I do not impose on other people.  My views on cohabitation which I have never discussed with anyone other than people I am dating or close friends should not "scare the sh*t" out of anyone.

This forum does not represent broader reality.  It's primarily a meeting place for adolescents to engage in group think.  If forum members sat down and had a conversation with their mother, aunts, and grandmothers I'm pretty sure they would find a large number of people in their families that do not condone cohabitation.  I personally can't think of any female in my family regardless of age who has or would do something like that.

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This forum does not represent broader reality.  It's primarily a meeting place for adolescents to engage in group think.  If forum members sat down and had a conversation with their mother, aunts, and grandmothers I'm pretty sure they would find a large number of people in their families that do not condone cohabitation.  I personally can't think of any female in my family regardless of age who has or would do something like that.

Completely over-egging it now - I'd struggle to name one person in my family who'd have a serious problem with it now my nana's died (and she was an evangelist and, as such, atypical) - and my family aren't all that liberal.

I post my caveat about Europe earlier.

Besides I've spent a considerable number of years on the dating scene and with the exception of a few characters in Europe most ladies find it a positive that I have never cohabitated with anyone.

I was speaking about the United States and some places outside of Europe.  Anyway my point was according to Judeo Christian tenets cohabitation is immoral.  There is nothing wrong with that nor is there anything wrong with the fact a lot of people believe in Judeo Christian morality.  It shouldn't "scare the sh*t" out of anyone.

I don't choose my friends or who I vote for based on whether they have cohabitated or not.  Basically it's not something to make a big deal about.  I mean I know premarital sex is immoral yet I still engage in it.  Just because I'm doing something immoral doesn't mean I have to go out and change scripture just to get to sleep at night.  People need to man up and just be straight forward with themselves.  Of course if you don't have Judeo Christian beliefs that's okay too.  A number of my friends are atheists.

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A friend of mine is in the process of buying a house with someone they're dating who seems very flaky/noncomittal about the whole thing and it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen in my opinion.

Tell your friend not to do it.  The absolute worst psychological stuff I've seen happen with my friends is a break up.  And the cohabitators had it 10 times worse.  My view is once you get to that stage just put a ring on it.  If you are that unsure have your separate places until you are sure.  Morality aside it's just good advice.  It is so much easier to walk away from a relationship when you don't have to move out and split stuff.  Most relationships are over long before they are over.  You really don't want to deal with some psycho and/or depressed girl when you are trying to move on with your life.  Or you don't want to deal with the jealousy when you come home and you just know she was out doing the nasty with some other dude.

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Man I was trying to forget about Santorum.  Speaking of cohabitation.  That story about his wife cohabitating with the abortion doctor that delivered her when she met Ricky really grossed me out.  These people are doing all sorts of stuff I wouldn't approve of and they are on TV telling me how to live my life.



I guess they just move the morality line to suit whatever ph-cked up lifestyle they are living at the moment.  I know it probably "scares the sh*t" out of some people in this thread but I think it's f'ed up to sleep with someone who's seen your moms vagina.