I'm addicted to pop

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Are you and Bushie friends? He seems to have the same problem.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It speaks volumes of the state of the forum when we have 73 responses to a thread where some kid talks about drinking 100 bottles of soda a day. We have nowhere to go! RIP Atlas forum.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Is this a planned spinoff of The Update that we weren't told about?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Oh dude, I love those Mcdoubles and Mcchickens. When I was in college, my roommate and I would go load up on them after drinking loads of beer. The good old days.

Why not drink diet soda? I am killing my liver with my addiction to diet coke, but at least it's not full of empty calories.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Switch to bourbon. At least you'll enjoy yourself while you fight this addiction.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Since it's apparent The Update is dead, I guess it's time we went all in on Pop.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

'Drinking a Diet Coke now.

'Cheers!

regular Coke is way better. Also I'm trying to cut my pop way down. What ever pop I have I drink all of it as quick as I can. I can't seem to save a two liter of pop for like 4-5 days drinking a little each day. I'm currently halfway done with this two liter now. My estimate time to finish it is about 6:30pm EST, about an hour from now.

I mean, I can see the parallels to The Update, and I guess it shouldn't be surprising given this is a spinoff, but still, this one lacks quality.

What kind of "pop" do you normally drink? Given the volume you drink, you must be a connoisseur at this point.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

So basically you treat soda like I treat alcohol? You must be miserable. At least when I drink beer or bourbon, I have a good time. You're just full of sugar and caffeine and probably feel super bloated.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

How was your trip to the dentist? Did you have any cavities? You're all we have until the next Update mini series, so please indulge The People.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I like that this show will now be competing with The Update for viewers. Competition is always a good thing. I look forward to seeing what the writers bring out for their respective seasons.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Have you taken any steps to fix this problem?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Just drink booze instead. Drinking soda alone can't be fun. You'll just feel awful.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I don't think this is any sillier than the current topic we are discussing in The Update, where Bushie is afraid to have a glass of wine with dinner because he thinks he will be too drunk to drive, his parents will kill him, and he will have a hangover the next morning.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

No addicition is stupid. Both Bushie and you and even me have issues. But you won't get any help here if you just tell us each day that you drank more soda than my car could hold. You haven't done anything to combat the problem, so this Update knock off isn't progressing anywhere.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

No addicition is stupid. Both Bushie and you and even me have issues. But you won't get any help here if you just tell us each day that you drank more soda than my car could hold. You haven't done anything to combat the problem, so this Update knock off isn't progressing anywhere.

Well this week I have drank a lot less pop, I'm trying to keep my weekly total under 140 oz. Today I only bought a small 24 oz pop instead of the two liter bottle.

Just stop buying soda. Or switch to diet, but even then you're drinking really unhealthy levels.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Tell them about your addiction and you'll be just fine. No lawyer wants a juror that will jsut think about soda the entire time

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Success! I hope you get it!