I'm addicted to pop

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Seriously I'm addicted to pop I have drank over 100 ounces of it today. I drink like at least 300 oz a week if not more. I think I'm addicted it is so tasty. I hate diet pop and would rather drink water. I would lose like 20+ pounds if I stopped drinking it and would not feel so bad. I tried to just buy a smaller one but that didn't work the two liter is only 1.19 plus .10 deposit right now very cheap. I hate to think of how much I spend on pop. I should tell them not to sell me pop. Ugh I need to stop drinking pop. They need support groups for excessive pop drinkers. I considered switching to beer because I won't drink nearly as much like only two beers but beer is more expensive.

What the hell is with the .10 deposit for a ******* 2-liter of soda, and what's with the "right now" language?  Does soda in Michigan fluctuate like produce? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

if you're in or near a major city I guarantee you there's a 12-step group that at least tangentially addresses this.

The image of a man writing heartfelt apologies to all the people he felt he harmed over the years with his "pop" drinking is almost too much for me.  I'm gonna blow a funny fuse.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Well, looks like "pop" is just the Joey to The Update's Friends. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Also I was invited to a kids birthday party my friends kid turns 1 in a week and the party is next Saturday. There will be mostly adults though but the kids 5 cousins will be there most likely. I need to get a gift though.

Okay.  This has gone on quite long enough.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I have decided to give up pop except on rare occasions, it has been two days since I had pop. I went on a pop binge over the weekend drinking 250 oz of pop in 30 hours. I felt quite bad and my teeth hurt.

Is this a real thing or some sort of elaborate parody?

What does it matter if it's awful?