Is it OK to back out of a social gathering if the venue has changed?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

So here's the scenario: my girlfriend and I were supposed to go over a friend's apartment for New Year's Eve up in Lansing.  I was talking to the friend tonight, and apparently the plan is now to go out to the bars in downtown Lansing.  I don't mind bars on occasion, but I'd much rather hang out with friends at a house/apartment.  It's quieter; it's cheaper; you don't have to worry about finding DDs; it's not as crazy as bars will be on New Year's Eve.

So, this got me to thinking, what is the etiquette on backing out of a social gathering if the venue changes?  I'm sure I'll still end up going (and putting on a smiling happy face), but I'm curious how the forum feels.

[Flake]

As long as you give prior notice and talk to your gf about it.

[Hatman 🍁]

Yes, especially if the new venue is less convenient for you.

[LastVoter]

Sounds like things got a lot more fun to me Inks... I don't get your logic.

[Napoleon]

Sounds like things got a lot more fun to me Inks... I don't get your logic.

Fun is the enemy.

[dead0man]

Sounds like things got a lot more fun to me Inks... I don't get your logic.

Did you stop reading after the second sentence?


Anyway, yes it's ok to back out.  You should probably tell them why, but I'd likely come up with a better excuse so they don't feel bad about the situation.

[LastVoter]

Sounds like things got a lot more fun to me Inks... I don't get your logic.

Did you stop reading after the second sentence?


Anyway, yes it's ok to back out.  You should probably tell them why, but I'd likely come up with a better excuse so they don't feel bad about the situation.

How do you know?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

As long as you give prior notice and talk to your gf about it.

Well, yeah... I'm not completely rude.

Yes, especially if the new venue is less convenient for you.

It's not really "less convenient"; either way it'll be a 75 minute drive.  But they have bars in Detroit; if I wanted to go to a bar, I could do that here.  The whole point of going up to Lansing was to catch up with some friends, which is a lot harder to do when you're at a loud, crowded bar.

Sounds like things got a lot more fun to me Inks... I don't get your logic.

Did you stop reading after the second sentence?


Anyway, yes it's ok to back out.  You should probably tell them why, but I'd likely come up with a better excuse so they don't feel bad about the situation.

The friend already knows my general dislike of going out to bars over hanging out at an apartment, so that'd likely not accomplish too much, and my girlfriend doesn't share my general dislike of overly crowded, loud bars, so we'll probably end up still going.

[Ban my account ffs!]

It's completely understandable Inks.  Even so, I still think you'd have fun and you should go.

But I'm also the "chill" kinda guy who'd rather have friends in an apartment on NYE.  It's just more fun cuz I like things like playing games and having food and stuff.  It's basically like a bar but on your own turf (or in someone's home, at least).

New Years at the bar is still a good time.  Just let the alcohol flow and ensure you have a DD to get back where you need to be afterward.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

It's completely understandable Inks.  Even so, I still think you'd have fun and you should go.

But I'm also the "chill" kinda guy who'd rather have friends in an apartment on NYE.  It's just more fun cuz I like things like playing games and having food and stuff.  It's basically like a bar but on your own turf (or in someone's home, at least).

New Years at the bar is still a good time.  Just let the alcohol flow and ensure you have a DD to get back where you need to be afterward.

Well, fortunately, I'm exempt from being the DD, unless my girlfriend wants me to drive her car, since I'm being picked up from the airport in Flint and the plan was to go to Lansing from there.  So I guess i lucked out there.

Alternatively, if I get snowed in in Baltimore, I'll get to spend NYE in Thurgood Marshall drinking Scotch and watching family drama unfold.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Of course. One is comfortable in some environments and not in others.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

It's always okay to back out of a social gathering.

[Antonio the Sixth]

It's always okay to back out of a social gathering.

^^^^

Of course, you need to consider how people might react to it. But never consider yourself at fault.

[LastVoter]

It's always okay to back out of a social gathering.

Yes, but there are consequences.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

It's always okay to back out of a social gathering.

Yes, but there are consequences.

Yeah, if your friends are assholes.

[Oakvale]

All your friends think you're a loser because you're not going. Also you used a figure of speech recently that had racial connotations you weren't aware of and everyone was weirded out, and people think your haircut looks silly.

[LastVoter]

It's always okay to back out of a social gathering.

Yes, but there are consequences.

Yeah, if your friends are assholes.

Sounds like you would make a terrible friend... If you are going to say you show up than you don't.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

It's always okay to back out of a social gathering.

Yes, but there are consequences.

Yeah, if your friends are assholes.

Sounds like you would make a terrible friend... If you are going to say you show up than you don't.

If I had a good reason, along with the fact that my friends understand that I get extremely anxious in social situations, I would think a simple "I don't wanna go." would cut it.

[Oakvale]

Go. You don't want to be a flake. You'll probably even have a good time.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

It's always okay to back out of a social gathering.

I'm not a fan of that.  Once I say I'm going, I'm going.  I'm not the type of person to swap out for a better party or stuff like that.  The difference with this one is that I never would've said I'd go in the first place if this had been the plan; we probably would've done a different party with a group of work friends

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

All your friends think you're a loser because you're not going. Also you used a figure of speech recently that had racial connotations you weren't aware of and everyone was weirded out, and people think your haircut looks silly.

Does all of this refer to me?  lol

[Antonio the Sixth]

I'm not the type of person to swap out for a better party or stuff like that.

An even better reason for not going. If you're usually a "yes-man", saying no once in a while is not a problem.

[Keystone Phil]

Oh, the Moderators are switching to another board?