Alfred 5 Senate: Spiders Spiders Everywhere: I Can't Believe It's Not Simfan

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Sup y'all. I'm a candidate in the upcoming At-Large Senate election for the seat recently vacated by Sen. Mr. Dr. Prof. X, may Dave (pbuh) bless his soul. I've got other things to do, so I won't type out a long campaign statement here, but I'd just like y'all to know that I will continue X's general Dirty Leftist tendencies and all that jazz. Turn-ons: increasing the standard of living for every Atlasian but preferably those at or near the bottom, fighting all forms of good fight, being a gentleman. Turn-offs: the social views of one of my opponents in this race who will go unnamed, being an asshole, neoliberal corporatist hegemonies, neoliberalism in general.

Anyway, AMA. I hope to continue my Senate special election winning streak with you (maybe we can extend it to two!)! First off, yes, there are two colons in that title.

*banner unfurls with ALFRED 6 SENATE hastily scrawled on in illegible marker*

[SWE]

Endorsed, obviously

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Endorsed, obviously

Why, thank you. Endorsed for whatever you're running for in return unless otherwise noted.

[Simfan34]

Mr. Jones, would you be willing to defy the Labor Party line on legislation you opposed? Could you possibly tell us some recent legislation proposed by members of your party you oppose or are you in full concurrence with the Socialist orientation of the party as stated in the most recent Party manifesto?

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Mr. Jones, would you be willing to defy the Labor Party line on legislation you opposed? Could you possibly tell us some recent legislation proposed by members of your party you oppose or are you in full concurrence with the Socialist orientation of the party as stated in the most recent Party manifesto?

While I do consider myself a social democrat at the very least, I only venture into true, TNF-style socialism on my most liberal days. And yes, I would be willing to turn around and punch Labor in the face if it did something I opposed, but I would immediately apologize (I opposed TNF's original draft of the platform, but I support the current version). On to the bills:

Not sure what to think on the Queue Sanity Amendment; I'd have to wade in the thick of the Senate before I could get a feel of how the rule changes would really affect our boys on the ground in there.

I oppose the An Actual End To Imperialism Act. Though it is good in theory, and I support its military spending reductions (the extent of such reductions would have to be run past Griffin or whoever our Defense Secretary equivalent is), but I dislike the heavy sanctions on Israel as I do not believe that is the best way to move forward in the Israeli-Palestinian peace process at this time and I oppose clause 4 (the abolition of all military bases - we need some bases in places like South Korea) and clause 2 (sometimes, like in Libya, governments are undemocratic/authoritarian/what have you and need to be thrown out, and if Atlasian help is needed it should not be denied). I'm not a knee-jerk isolationist, and I dislike them severely.

I'll add the rest of the bills in queue later, but I have responsibilities right now.

[Simfan34]

Thank you, I'd suggest a debate but we have barely a day left. I recommend we use the time to badger each other.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Thank you, I'd suggest a debate but we have barely a day left. I recommend we use the time to badger each other.

Badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM

[Simfan34]

Af-ri-can Snake! Snaaake, a snaaake, oh, it's a snaaake!

How old was I when that came out... like 8?

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

I like most of the Bill of Rights Act, but I think life imprisonment without parole should be an option (as well as solitary confinement, but only under very extreme circumstances and not for extended periods of time). In addition, we're still working on co-determination at the legal level IIRC, so such hasty action should not be rushed into at this time.

I'm sure all those useless laws are useless, but I don't particularly care about that bill.

I quite dislike the RAPH Act's benefit reductions and restrictions on unions (which Scott pointed out is unconstitutional), but I'd have to look into health savings accounts to see if they're beneficial. As it is I'd strongly oppose the bill.

I support the resolution on the Crimean crisis; Russia's actions are illegitimate, and Crimea is and should be part of Ukraine. TNF's spouting of Russian talking points are of no concern to me.

I'm not sure what to think on the Residential Tax Something-or-other Act, though the points raised against it do seem fair vis-a-vis renters and other people who don't own homes. Also, "principal" is misspelled in the first clause, which could have severe consequences.

I suppose the Contract Modernization and Blah Blah Blah Act of Whatever is OK, though clause 2 seems a bit semantically weird (it seems to imply that freshman members of a union will get the right to submit the first contract, which doesn't seem like the thing TNF would really go for). Furthermore, I think the job of unions (and government in general) is to level the playing field, not to tip it in their own favor, which seems to be Mr. Senator TNF's goal.

But enough about TNF. I was 5 when that video came out and don't remember 9/11 at all. Does that make you feel old?

[Gass3268]

Endorsed!

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Endorsed!

Thank you kindly.

[Flake]

[Adam Griffin]

Endorsed!

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

I'd like to thank Atlasia's two most beautiful men for their endorsements, and I'd also like to remind the both of them that the bed is kept heated by white tears if they'd like to come join me .

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I'd like to thank Atlasia's two most beautiful men for their endorsements, and I'd also like to remind the both of them that the bed is kept heated by white tears if they'd like to come join me .

Ahem, I didn't say anything in this thread yet.

[Maxwell]

What is your opinion of The Atlasian Cynic, and most importantly, the idea of a possible reset button to the game?

[Cranberry]

Happily endorsed!

[sentinel]

What are your views on ducks?

[TNF]

Endorsed for first preference!

[bore]

Endorsed for first preference!

[Dr. Cynic]

Alfred, would you ever fight for legislation advocating a restart?

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

What are your views on ducks?

They are good, especially their corkscrew penes.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Alfred, would you ever fight for legislation advocating a restart?

Sure. It might be fun.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

All right, folks, it's time to get out and fight the good fight! Let's honor Sen. Mr. X's memory and send another progressive to the Senate!

[Cranberry]

Go Alfred! Go get that seat!