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Author Topic: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy  (Read 89258 times)
Snowstalker Mk. II
Snowstalker
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« on: March 29, 2014, 08:19:15 PM »
« edited: August 05, 2014, 11:00:33 AM by Snowstalker »

Since the last one passed the 2K mark.
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shua
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« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2014, 01:33:29 AM »

This needs "goldmine" somewhere in the title if it's ever going to get off the ground

I don't remember my Calc class enough to be precisely sure what's going on here, but for some reason I found this hilarious ...
While we're on the subject of complex numbers...

Angus, Ernest, muon, Alfred!

If you know a solution to the equation ζ(z) = 0 whose imaginary part is ≠ 0 and whose real part ≠ ½ , please send it to me via PM. Wink

And falsify the Riemann hypothesis? Tongue
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Oakvale
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« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2014, 04:47:24 PM »
« Edited: March 30, 2014, 06:49:42 PM by oakvale »

Please reserve your preservation of funny posts for this thread. RIP last Comedy Goldmine.

YES, AND CAPITALISM WILL FALL BECAUSE OF THE FALLING TENDENCY OF THE RATE OF PROFIT.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2014, 04:55:42 PM »

Snowstalker making a Comedy Thread?

No.
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King
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« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2014, 06:26:31 PM »

Shouldn't this be named after JayJay with the title?
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Oakvale
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« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2014, 06:49:27 PM »

Shouldn't this be named after JayJay with the title?

I hoped that that was clear but sure.
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Lief 🗽
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« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2014, 09:42:10 PM »

J.J. isn't funny though. Doesn't make sense to name a goldmine after him.
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Oakvale
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« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2014, 09:53:00 PM »

J.J. isn't funny though. Doesn't make sense to name a goldmine after him.

He wasn't haha funny but he was pretty funny in an unintentional kind of way.
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badgate
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« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2014, 10:02:08 PM »

Click for context

We have breaking news: Florida has been called for Senator Hutchinson.


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The world will shine with light in our nightmare
Just Passion Through
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« Reply #9 on: March 31, 2014, 06:43:26 PM »

Why would the economy completely collapse?  That's a ridiculous thing to assume.
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excelsus
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« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2014, 07:27:04 PM »

I find her voice somehow annoying to my ear, but she certainly looks much more interesting than a frog.
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King
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« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2014, 10:16:01 PM »

Why does bushie leave everywhere on bad terms?

the gas company
utah
metrotech cadd

I can't imagine ON Company is thrilled with him ...
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○∙◄☻¥tπ[╪AV┼cVê└
jfern
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« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2014, 11:11:50 PM »

Both will be talked about a lot and block either Christie or Clinton from being the GOP nominee. After that, the GOP nominee will drop Bridgegate and keep talking about Benghazi up until his concession call.
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Simfan34
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« Reply #13 on: April 01, 2014, 12:00:14 AM »

My term's three weeks, not two weeks. And how can you say that a party that almost (but not quite) supported TNF's platform - the platform of a man with a far lower E score than you - is insufficiently left-wing? I don't recall Napoleon being a major force within the Labor Party; what you're doing is (forgive the indulgence in fantasy here) saying the Democrats are right-wing because of Evan Bayh - literally the Tea Party of the Atlasian left.

The term is not yours Alfred it's Senator Deus.

The term is mine. Have you looked at the votes?

Can the votes be found in Leviticus?

I did hear something about a few outstanding precincts in Song of Songs.
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Potatoe
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« Reply #14 on: April 01, 2014, 11:12:43 AM »

I am reaching another point to where despite over a decade here, I don't know how much longer I can stay in what is essentially becoming a liberal bastion for anti-gun rants (which in and of itself is unpatriotic, humiliatingly defeatist and cowardly) and this unapologetic love for Hillary Clinton who for all intents and purposes should not at all be considered as darling by liberals as she is. That makes me believe that it's simply electability they are worried about and so my opinion of liberals goes down further when they can't even stay true to liberal beliefs (as conservatives do) simply out of electability fears.

I think liberals mean well, I really do. They are focused on pushing the pendulum in a good direction. The problem is, they let emotions run high and lack the analytical thought process about the repercussions of the pendulum swinging back. It is hard for me to come up with a specific example at 6am, so I'll give you a generalized analogy. I read somewhere back around 2004 or so that a few instructors who worked at a Florida flight training school were discussing how one of their Middle Eastern students was asking odd questions about how to get into the cockpit of a 767 and was only interested in taking off, not in landing. Liberalism, political correctness, whatever you want to call it, took over when their bosses and higher ups quickly silenced them, reminding them that "just because a person is Middle Eastern, doesn't mean they're a terrorist." The higher-ups spewing liberalism obviously meant well. But those Middle Eastern men turned out to be the 9/11 hijackers. That's a simple example of how even by meaning well, liberalism doesn't take into account how much emotion clouts the realities of life. You can not lead a country, a business, a city, a classroom even if you let emotion run rampant.

The gun debate is another example of this. Liberals for all their superior intelligence, or so they say, should know that guns don't kill people, people kill people. This is a simple factual statement that you would think the so-called intelligent liberals would understand. But they let their emotion clout their judgement. Piers Morgan learned this the hard way, trying to force his own European beliefs on the American audience. He failed miserably. Remember too, we kicked Europe out of our lives over 200 years ago during the Revolutionary War because of things that were hurting our freedoms. We plunged knives into the hearts of men to live free. We did it just 70 years ago so that Europe could live free. Time doesn't always heal all wounds.
Is Reaganfan secretly Rick Perry?
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Simfan34
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« Reply #15 on: April 01, 2014, 12:11:46 PM »

Glorious news!

I was feeling inspired from one of Fox's latest charts, so I thought I'd make one to celebrate the occasion:


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Oakvale
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« Reply #16 on: April 01, 2014, 01:48:38 PM »

Context:

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Sol
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« Reply #17 on: April 01, 2014, 02:42:14 PM »

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Maxwell
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« Reply #18 on: April 01, 2014, 03:55:00 PM »

I approve of his first name. That's about it.

I kind of wish I could be his aide because the awful, awful puns are hard to resist. "Sir, we've gotten you a new Zellular phone. Can I now have a raise? Don't be zellfish." I'd be fired instantly. What an honor!

TiK is a top five user.
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Mechaman
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« Reply #19 on: April 02, 2014, 06:51:09 AM »

Cheney and Rummy claimed more often that other intelligence was gained from the enhanced techniques.......who knows if it's true.

But isn't their credibility totally shattered?

Maybe not. We know 1 millionth percent of what goes on in the CIA, NSA, FBI and the rest of the alphabet soup. They might be exaggerating but the truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

LOL Moderate Hero.


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The world will shine with light in our nightmare
Just Passion Through
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« Reply #20 on: April 02, 2014, 03:26:19 PM »


I know I speak for everyone when I say you will truly be missed. Your silly antics made the forum a brighter and better place. Keep on chasing rainbows, guys. We will remember you.



This was reposted in another thread.  Oldie, but a goldie.  Brings back good memories.
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shua
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« Reply #21 on: April 02, 2014, 08:21:09 PM »

1920
President Napoleon has had a rocky two terms. Despite a number of progressive reforms, in his first four years, the Great War--along with Napoleon's alienating style of governance and his shaky position between the left- and right-wings of his party--has left him unpopular. Ignoring the critics, as well as the mid-term results and his subsequent failure in achieving all his goals, Napoleon was able to win nomination for a third term by his party. In order to revitalize the ticket, the popular Governor Benjamin Sawx was given the Vice Presidential slot. While many had anticipated that former President Theodore Roosevelt might step up to the plate for the GOP, his death in 1919 doomed that dream. Instead, the little known idiosyncratic former Congressman James H. Shua, who recently raised his public profile through opposition to Napoleon's foreign policy, was put up by the Party of Lincoln. The young Governor Elections Guy of Wisconsin was put on the bottom of the ticket, hoping to appeal to Mid-Western and German-American voters that had been alienated by some of Napoleon's policies.

The third party tickets would prove more interesting, though. Running from prison was former revolutionary Theodore Nugent Fauntroy, known by his adorers as "TNF". In order to give the party some presence outside the prison walls, hog farmer "A. Person" was made their Vice Presidential nominee. A farmer from Illinois, it was hoped his reputation as a representative of the common man through his name would help the party. The Prohibition Party, enraged at Governor Sawx's well known love for alcohol, is using him as a foil. Well known chastity activist and former Ambassador to France Antonio V. was paired with fellow Frenchmen and preacher Windjammer, who was known for his support for the banning of all drugs and his belief that free will was a myth.

With a splitting of the left-wing "reform" vote between TNF and Antonio, and the Democrats in dire straits, Shua easily won the electoral and popular vote.

Shua (R-VA)/Elections Guy (R-WI) 309 electoral votes
Napoleon (D-CT)/Sawx (D-NH) 127 electoral votes
TNF (S-KY)/a Person (S-IL) 91 electoral votes
Antonio (P-CA)/Windjammer (P-VT) 4 electoral votes
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Smid
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« Reply #22 on: April 04, 2014, 12:29:50 AM »

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MATTROSE94
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« Reply #23 on: April 04, 2014, 01:54:22 PM »

Who's saying you can't eat the columnists?
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Simfan34
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« Reply #24 on: April 04, 2014, 04:23:08 PM »

Alberto of course, as it is the source of over 90% of the world supply of VO5.
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