The t_host1 Institute of Comedy

[Lief 🗽]

Of course Simfan fits the profile of an Enlightened player to a T.

[Antonio the Sixth]

The worst is that Snowstalker is making some pro-ISIS posts that would qualify that are getting ignored.

There's nothing wrong in being a fan of Egyptian deities. I'm pro-Isis and pro-Osiris, though my favourite goddess is Bastet because I adore cats.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

So Hillary Clinton has been arrested?

Sorry, couldn't resist

[Antonio the Sixth]

Who wouldn't want to be circumcised though?

Me?

[Antonio the Sixth]

Einzge is a victim of the sheeple's aversion to his byzantine labyrinth of obfuscationary semantics. The neutered cowards of the Atlas Forum react with fear and horror when reading anything of an excellent intellectual and genetic pedigree, in an intriguingly similar way to the average negress or heeb.

[Joe Republic]

I don't know why they keep posting in the Update thread.  It's obviously clear that I have stopped posting in that thread.

[Hifly]

Winkelman, Arizona - Mayor:

Mr Joseph Gorion, known as "Chicken Joe" to local residents due to his well known chicken farm on Highway 77, stepped down as Mayor after one of his chickens, Alda, suffered from diarrhea. Chicken Joe was a two-term Republican mayor, winning his elections with the slogan "Chicken Joe does not like taxes!" He chose the owner of the local grocery store and holder of numerous offices including Town Comptroller, Mr Mario Gomez, well known as very greedy yet frugal, as his successor. He was opposed by local Elementary school teacher Ana Luna and perennial candidate and well known hobo "Ragged Reggie", but could score a win, mainly because of Chicken Joe's momentum. There are three registered Democrats in Winkelman, and two of them - Mr Jose Garcia and Mrs Maria Gomez, sister of Mr Mario Gomez, ran in the Democratic primary. In the end, Garcia could gain the vote of the deaf and silent Mr Jose Antanarivo, thus scoring a two-third majority win in the primary. The general election was therefore between Gomez and Garcia. It was an intense and nail-biting race, overshadowed by scandals of bribery and voter fraud - Chicken Joe tried to register the now recovered Alda as a voter, while attempting to bribe the responisble officer, Mr Mario Gomez with the roasted Rio - Alda's brother. Luckily, Mrs Maria Gomez came by to bring her brother lunch - homemade paella - and could prevent the voter fraud. In the end, the election was decided narrowly, with just one vote (that is 10%) more in favour of Mr Gomez, Chicken Joe's chosen successor.

Republican
Mr Mario Gomez (R) - 60%
Mrs Ana Luna (R) - 40%
Mr Reginald "Ragged Reggie" Ragson (R) - 10%

Democrats
Mr Jose Garcia (D) - 66.66%
Mrs Maria Gomez (D) - 33.33%

General Election
Mr Mario Gomez (R) - 55%
Mr Jose Garcia (D) - 45%

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

One of the worst figures in American History. Dude should be put on trial for treason against humanity.


KKK>Cheney and I'm black

Woah woah man. I'm the forum black guy. Go find your own white people.

[LeBron]

A good handful of the posts in this thread are pretty funny, but I'll post the funniest, two gems: One of which is Deluge worthy; the other is epic.

Goddamn I love Schweitzer. He manages to be a liberal without being a censorious, reality-denying nematode.

Cantor is absolutely a twink.  Basically any country club Republican under 55 or so is going to be a closeted homosexual.

What's a Brian Schweitzer?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

The local no-kill shelter here spays/neuters all cats up for adoption, and I believe that is the most common practice.

I'll help you out of that trees if I can have your balls for my collection.

No thanks.  I'll just stay up here.

[RR1997]

A resopnse to a thread about the best Bush term.

1989 - 1993

[windjammer]

bqhatevwr

[Paul Kemp]

I don't know why they keep posting in the Update thread.  It's obviously clear that I have stopped posting in that thread.

The lack of self-awareness is astounding.

[LeBron]

I'm still laughing as I post this xD. Fresh off the presses.

[IceSpear]

This guy is much more electable than Clinton though. Because he wears a bolo tie.

[SWE]

This just proves further that Brian Schweitzer is completely unfit for office, and further distances himself from the Democratic Party. Dianne Feinstein is an amazing Senator who has advocated for LGBT rights, women's health, and gun control for her entire career, and to criticize her goes against everything we stand for. Comparing her to a prostitute is just mean and cruel to women.

Meanwhile, as governor, he upheld his state's medicinal marijuana bill that would allow more drugs to circulate all around Montana, let people claim any disability as an excuse to abuse it, and shut off a prescription to more effective, less dangerous drugs. He also has an endorsement from the NRA, which wants to keep guns in the hands of dangerous people, and he led the Democratic Party on and forced Baucus to retire, but at the last minute dropped out of the race. Today, while I was watching MSNBC, I heard Brian Schweitzer say the S-word. He's anti-woman, anti-gay, and a pottymouth too! #JustSayNo to Brian Schweitzer in 2016!

[morgieb]

pros:
- brings in conservative support to the ticket
- from an important swing-state
- helps with catholics and working-class voters
- extensive legislative experience
- soothing midwesterner

cons:
- lost to a bald guy by 75 points

[Antonio the Sixth]

Case race tomorrow evening. My great-grand big is supposedly recruiting alums to swing by, and I've got at least two members of the crew living in the House as well as some of the other actives and recent graduates that have indicated they'll be here. When I get back from work, however, I'm too lazy to try to organize this crap, so I'm kinda winging it. Oh well. If we even have three teams of three (not going the typical 2/24 route, but instead 3/30), I'll be happy.

what the ****k does any of this mean

"A competition will be held tomorrow evening wherein teams of men will compete to see which team can drink an entire case of beer the fastest. My mentor's mentor's mentor in the fraternity is finding fraternity brothers who graduated with him to come, plus at least two people who are currently living in the fraternity house itself (plus other current and recently graduated fraternity brothers) will be attending. I'm too lazy to organize the event myself though. Even if only nine people show up I will consider it a success. If necessary we can have three teams of three men drinking from those cases of beer that come with thirty beers, as opposed to the traditional setup of teams of two drinking from cases of beer that come with twenty four beers."

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

lol, had to read that right after taking a seroquel

[Alcon]

Case race tomorrow evening. My great-grand big is supposedly recruiting alums to swing by, and I've got at least two members of the crew living in the House as well as some of the other actives and recent graduates that have indicated they'll be here. When I get back from work, however, I'm too lazy to try to organize this crap, so I'm kinda winging it. Oh well. If we even have three teams of three (not going the typical 2/24 route, but instead 3/30), I'll be happy.

what the *k does any of this mean

"A competition will be held tomorrow evening wherein teams of men will compete to see which team can drink an entire case of beer the fastest. My mentor's mentor's mentor in the fraternity is finding fraternity brothers who graduated with him to come, plus at least two people who are currently living in the fraternity house itself (plus other current and recently graduated fraternity brothers) will be attending. I'm too lazy to organize the event myself though. Even if only nine people show up I will consider it a success. If necessary we can have three teams of three men drinking from those cases of beer that come with thirty beers, as opposed to the traditional setup of teams of two drinking from cases of beer that come with twenty four beers."

If I thought my alum fund was going to fine academic work like this, I would be contributing instead of just adding them to catalogue mailing lists

[⛄]

I think a bigger problem is that the American electorate just seems tired of all politicians at all levels and is willing to dump parties or persons in power every cycle. See: Ohio 2004-2010. Went from GOP in Presidency 2004, to DEM in 2006 Midterms, to DEM in Presidency in 2008, to GOP in 2010 Midterms.

Which could lead to some Libertarians winning soon. I think we might be in the mist of a change in the party system.

[windjammer]

i'm going to repeat here what i told my family after uruguay-costa rica -- costa rica is a team that could certainly win the whole thing and will almost certainly make it to the semifinals.

^ this is why using drugs is very, very bad.

[IceSpear]

I don't take these people seriously because they're cowards. They spew hatred even more than the worst on the right, and yet what would they fight with? Granola? They're harmless but their rhetoric is dangerous.

[Lief 🗽]

Harry I know about the whole standards of living, but it comes at the cost of freedom. See maybe our differing political views just don't jive with our views on what we consider freedom.

I believe in majority rules, in free trade, free enterprise, freedom of speech. What always made the United States a great country was that we were the opposite of the rest of the world.

While Hitler banned smoking and created vast totalitarian order in Europe, Americans were smoking cigarettes and drinkin' Tennessee whiskey.

While the Japanese and Germans had brutal concentration or death camps, the camp we had for Japanese Americans didn't include sick torture, abuse or extermination.

An Axis war leader once said, "I'd never want to invade the United States, because there would be a gun in the back of every soldier." The Jews didn't have weapons. Resistance groups failed. America was FOUNDED on a resistance victory against Britain.

We got rid of Europe here a long time ago for the specific purpose of not being Europe. Dare I say, that most Americans, even our leaders in the 1940s, thought more like ME than like you. By thinking like me, we won.

What if our WWII leaders thought like you? I don't believe victory could have been assured. That is why I'm such a pain in the butt about being against liberalism. I think it threatens us.

[Paul Kemp]

Harry I know about the whole standards of living, but it comes at the cost of freedom. See maybe our differing political views just don't jive with our views on what we consider freedom.

I believe in majority rules, in free trade, free enterprise, freedom of speech. What always made the United States a great country was that we were the opposite of the rest of the world.

While Hitler banned smoking and created vast totalitarian order in Europe, Americans were smoking cigarettes and drinkin' Tennessee whiskey.

While the Japanese and Germans had brutal concentration or death camps, the camp we had for Japanese Americans didn't include sick torture, abuse or extermination.

An Axis war leader once said, "I'd never want to invade the United States, because there would be a gun in the back of every soldier." The Jews didn't have weapons. Resistance groups failed. America was FOUNDED on a resistance victory against Britain.

We got rid of Europe here a long time ago for the specific purpose of not being Europe. Dare I say, that most Americans, even our leaders in the 1940s, thought more like ME than like you. By thinking like me, we won.

What if our WWII leaders thought like you? I don't believe victory could have been assured. That is why I'm such a pain in the butt about being against liberalism. I think it threatens us.

oh my god this is the best