The t_host1 Institute of Comedy

[Antonio the Sixth]

"If an Irish woman comes across my desk, I'm going to bang her."

[IceSpear]

These baby penguins are also not sure that Hillary Clinton would make a good president:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-baby-penguins-are-pretty-cute-dont-stand-chance--686

[Paul Kemp]

The reason for that is that watching porn creates unrealistic expectations when you are lucky enough to get in the bedroom with your spouse.

Well, for Oklahomans, I suppose that's true.

[Miles]

Right.

Back in the real world, Roberts wins comfortably and Brownback wins fairly easily, too.

Why should we expect Brownback to win easily?

The GOP is going to be riled up come November. In a state like Kansas, they're going to be very hard pressed to give the Dems a pick up unless Brownback was on the verge of going to prison. Partisan and ideological allegiances will mean too much in these safe states.

We already lead with Jason Carter in Ga, while Nunn can still win. The Deal scandle speaks for itself. The GOP is 10 pts down in KS,

Thanks for:

A) totally irrelevant information (Carter will also lose, by the way).
B) regurgitating information about KS now.

[IceSpear]

I think Hillary is mistaken in attacking Obama's foreign policy when she was its architect for several years. Does anybody remember Bengazhi? That was on Obama and Hillary and you can't avoid that.

[IceSpear]

Also they should add a "Libertarians and True Leftists" row, so that Isis has a friend.

[Bacon King]

I think America's preferred future place in international relations should be as this almighty Sky God that rains fire on those who goes against its will but never directly imposes itself on the situation.

[NHLiberal]

Grimes will be crushed, of course. The idea that Democrats will pick up Georgia and Kentucky is cute.

Take a look at Wi and KS gubernatorial elections, Dems can pick up. It is a reform yr, and anti incumbant yr, McConnell isnt safe.

Come on dude, year is only a 4 letter word.

[Simfan34]

To anyone but an idiot, the answer is yes. And no, the solution to voting 'no' is not 'the UN should never have created Israel in 1947 and hence Israel would not have existed today'. The question is about Israel today. Israel today has the right to exist.

As for all those American smart arses who seem to think the Second World War was just a European problem, and that instead of creating Israel, the Jewish people should have been given Bavaria (let's face it, the solution isn't Schleswig-Hostein-Israel, it's Bavaria isn't it?) do consider this:

AN EDICT
FROM TRYGVE LIE
SECRETARY GENERAL, UNITED NATIONS
2 FEBRUARY 1946

TO THE PEOPLE OF BAVARIA

1) For a long time you have been brainwashed by the Hitler cult into hating the Jews. Millions have been sent to their deaths, on the basis of your Fuhrer believing that the Jews were wicked people who wanted to take over your country. This is false and is hateful anti-semitism. The world rejects it utterly. The horrors of the Holocaust were built on a lie. You ought to be ashamed for believing it.

By the way, we have allocated Bavaria as the new Jewish homeland. You will be expelled and the Jews given your state as their new home. This is alright, ok?

2) As it is 1946 you will not know yet of the horrors of the forced marches in 1947 of Muslims out of India into Pakistan, or of the Hindus and Sikhs out of Pakistan into India. Once we march you out of your homes and out of Bavaria, count yourselves lucky. You now have two Germanies to choose your new homes in: capitalist FDR or communist DDR. What choice!

(NB Please disregard everything Hitler and the Nazis told you in the last twelve years about capitalism and communism being two sides of the same sh*tty coin. This was just Nazi propaganda. Please scrub this from your mind as you indure your forced march into your choice of Germany)

TO THE PEOPLE OF GERMANY

Basically, ditto. Hitler indoctrinated you against the Jews, but this was wicked and evil. As you are forced to billet a Bavarian in your house and cope on even fewer calories per day, thank the Lord that Hitler was wrong about the capricious Jews, and that you have the pleasure of sharing your daily half-loaf of bread with the Muenchener forced to give their home to the Jewish fatherland.

TO THE JEWISH PEOPLE

We are horrified at the German massacre of the Jews. Never, under our watch, will you have to endure these horrors again. So, for now, could you please go and settle in the strongest corner of Nazism down there in Germany, and make it your own. Yes, you're surrounded on two sides by Germans, and on the other two sides by puppet states of Joseph 'Doctor's Plot' Stalin, but then what more do you Yids want, slimily grasping away for land in Palestine? Ins't this enough? Hitler didn't try to kill you all for nothing, you know.

(NB Given the horrors, could you yourselves please pull down Dachau, and raize to the ground the ruins of the Brown House, and any other places you might like to destroy in your new homeland? We can't be bothered. You wanted saving; we've done that, now you make your new homeland pleasant for yourselves, we've simply not the time for it)

BY ORDER
THE VERY CONCERNED TRUE LEFTIST UNITED NATIONS OF ATLAS
1946

PS You wanted a homeland, didn't you? What do you mean Bavaria's a land utterly hateful to you and nowhere near your Holy Land, you ungrateful snipes? Well, look, if we gave you Palestine, in 70 years time a religious group that are very docile and quiescent now may get uppity - and we'd be forced to side with them because we don't really like kikes and Yids regardless of Hitlerism - so could you just take Bavaria now and save us any problems then?

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Whoa, Phil, please take your disgusting anti-Kanye hate speech somewhere else. No wants that on this forum.

[Kushahontas]

Write-in: Houston (normal)

[Reginald]

Let us all remember the huge qualification for anyone under indictment or arrest or even at trial: the four words that keep legal process from becoming a lynching:

IF GUILTY A CHARGED

[free my dawg]

How can anyone take someone called Zephyr Rain Teachout seriously?

How can anyone take someone called TTS1996 seriously? What are you, a calculator?

What the f u u ck are you on about? My name isn't actually TTS1996, any more than yours is actually Panda Express, but hers is apparently Zephyr Rain Teachout, which is NOT A REAL NAME.

[NHLiberal]

^^And the rest

How can anyone take someone called Zephyr Rain Teachout seriously?

How can anyone take someone called TTS1996 seriously? What are you, a calculator?

What the f u u ck are you on about? My name isn't actually TTS1996, any more than yours is actually Panda Express, but hers is apparently Zephyr Rain Teachout, which is NOT A REAL NAME.

This isn't Iceland. People can be named whatever they damn well want.

[NHLiberal]

A  likable but politically oblivious everyman gets to cast the deciding vote. Hilarious hi-jinx ensue as both presidential candidates arrive in his small town to personally woo him for his vote.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

It's supposed to be three lines, 17 syllables, with five in the first line, seven in the middle, and five at the end.  Here, like this:

Me not so horny
Me like women, I think, but
Maybe man will do.

[Mr. Morden]

The Iraq War would be over, but there would be significant remaining troops in the area. Withdrawal in Afghanistan would not have been telegraphed to the world, so the Taliban would not as strongly be waiting in the wings. Rebels would have been armed in both Libya and Syria. Assad would probably be on his way out. There would have been tougher and more immediate sanctions on Russia.

Um, what?

The Iraq War would be over, but there would be significant remaining troops in the area. Withdrawal in Afghanistan would not have been telegraphed to the world, so the Taliban would not as strongly be waiting in the wings. Rebels would have been armed in both Libya and Syria. Assad would probably be on his way out. There would have been tougher and more immediate sanctions on Russia.

[Paul Kemp]

The Iraq War would be over, but there would be significant remaining troops in the area. Withdrawal in Afghanistan would not have been telegraphed to the world, so the Taliban would not as strongly be waiting in the wings. Rebels would have been armed in both Libya and Syria. Assad would probably be on his way out. There would have been tougher and more immediate sanctions on Russia.

Um, what?

The Iraq War would be over, but there would be significant remaining troops in the area. Withdrawal in Afghanistan would not have been telegraphed to the world, so the Taliban would not as strongly be waiting in the wings. Rebels would have been armed in both Libya and Syria. Assad would probably be on his way out. There would have been tougher and more immediate sanctions on Russia.

The initial post is pretty comedic itself.

[Joe Republic]

Bushie, you should do the ice bucket challenge in similar fashion as you diet.

Ease in by taking a warm shower first and then eventually work up to forgetting all about doing it.

[IceSpear]

"You know, Russia is the largest country by land mass on the planet." - Phil
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters

[Grumpier Than Thou]

"You know, Russia is the largest country by land mass on the planet." - Phil
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters

Yeah it must be terrible when posters make the same joke long after it went stale.

By the way, what ideology am I this week, Phil?

[Keystone Phil]

"You know, Russia is the largest country by land mass on the planet." - Phil
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters

Yeah it must be terrible when posters make the same joke long after it went stale.

By the way, what ideology am I this week, Phil?

The never ending jokes about your constant ideology changes are no where near stale, Josh.

[Simfan34]

"You know, Russia is the largest country by land mass on the planet." - Phil
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters

Yeah it must be terrible when posters make the same joke long after it went stale.

By the way, what ideology am I this week, Phil?

The never ending jokes about your constant ideology changes are no where near stale, Josh.

Indeed.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

The never ending jokes about your constant ideology changes are no where near stale, Josh.

You want another 2 years?

[King]

Salutations, Phil.