The t_host1 Institute of Comedy

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Context:

With these kind of people on her side, Hillary can't possibly lose.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

I really can't stand Gardner, I want him to lose more than I want Udall to win, mainly because his fans are so obnoxious.

He's like a mix of the Oakland Raiders and Kenny Chesney?

[tmthforu94]

I don't know what future he'll have after losing to Joni Ernst next week.

Really? I know most of you dislike me, but this isn't right...

It really isn't right at all. You should leave immediately in protest.

Or maybe you all should focus on people who actually are causing problems on this board.

So, now you're referring to yourself as "people"?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

The only complicating factor is that a lot of Southern men seem gay to me.  Maybe it's the accent, I don't know.

[IceSpear]

Has Bushie tried caffeine pills?

Bushie believes his body is a temple and abstains from behavior altering substances.

Only Braum's and chain food may enter such a sacred place.

[Badger]

Defending women on the Atlas forum so that you can have sex with women doesn't seem like the best strategy.

I don't know about you, but I regularly defend womankind on the Atlas forum just so I can print out my posts and distribute copies to attractive women at local clubs.  I'm hoping that some day, one of them will catch on as to what my intentions are.  So far, it's only yielded confusion.

Amazing. Hall of Fame worthy! (if we had one)

[IceSpear]

[Grumpier Than Thou]

oh my god

[Lief 🗽]

I don't think Dave was able to send his absentee ballot from Tender's dungeon

No worry, I took it to the post office ...

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I don't think Dave was able to send his absentee ballot from Tender's dungeon

No worry, I took it to the post office ...

Just came in to post it, but I guess it deserves a double mention.

I don't think Dave was able to send his absentee ballot from Tender's dungeon

No worry, I took it to the post office ...

[Napoleon]

No, and quite frankly it isn't anyone's business but Senator Graham's and the National Enquirer.

[Napoleon]

At least it's not a red silhouette of Missouri.

[Lief 🗽]

Junk election!

[politicus]

Junk election!

Junk state!

He is on a roll.

ashley judd would have stopped mitch mcconnell

[Mopsus]

FreedomHawk is a fitting username because he has the cognitive capabilities of a bird.

And is a straight A student that has already earned the respect of his state representative and senator [...]

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Wait, there's more:

FreedomHawk is a fitting username because he has the cognitive capabilities of a bird.

And is a straight A student that has already earned the respect of his state representative and senator and was the highest GPA in his grade for two years now...

Freedomhawk, is that you posting, or is that your grandmother bragging about you to her knitting club again?

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

I'm guessing you have 300 confirmed kills and you're the top sniper in the US armed forces too?

[Goldwater]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?action=profile;u=12473;sa=showPosts

[IceSpear]

I've had a long, boring day off today, so I took some of you guys' ideas for Update-opoly and sketched this out:

CLICK FOR BIGGER VERSION




Let me know if I should make any edits.  You'll probably notice that the property color blocks are grouped by theme (except the pink block, which was a random assortment of whatever was left, but whatever).  Any further suggestions?

I've already got a ton of ideas for the Chance and Community Chest cards.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

This looks fun.

Wake up at 1pm
1:02 - Check election results
1:03 - Sean Haugh is elected US Senator
1:06 - Kathy Glass is elected governor of Texas
1:09 - Ron Paul is somehow president.
1:10 - Mrs. Garcia walks in and tells me I'm failing Spanish
1:12 - Something isn't right here–I would never fail Spanish. This must be a dream!

Wake up for real. It's 3am

[SPC]

Wait, he's a poster? What's his username?

Here's his profile:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?action=profile;u=1847

In the other thread, Simfan reminded us of this post by Mr. Perry:

Ron Paul

Can you morons at least pick members of the posters preferred sex?

If I was to pick a female congressman to have an affair with it would be
Mary Landrieu


or
Kirsten Gillibrand

Surely the sort of thing that a future president of the United States wants to say on the record.

[Clarko95 📚💰📈]

This parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule.

That sounds lovely. Very tranquil and homely. I hope they are doing well.

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That didn't take long.

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The word you're looking for is "drown."

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Look, I can criticise a lot of things here, but what really bothers me is that, once the mule drowns and begins decomposing, the smell will be unbearable. This farmer is a shortsighted man. I don't like him. He must be the villain of the story. Proceed.

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Honestly that sounds like more work than just rescuing the mule.

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Do note that the word "hysterical" carries connotations of laughter.

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"Maybe we should finally embrace fluoridation!"

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For a farmer, he seems exceptionally unfamiliar with dirt and water.

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What kind of mule is this?

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said Lil Wayne emphatically.

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Work it, girl!

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It was for the neighbors forced to pour dirt down a well, who, from cutting off a perfectly good supply of drinking water in order to save an animal whose meat is unpalatable and that is highly likely unable to reproduce and so to provide future benefits, probably all died of heat stroke.

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This mule did almost nothing. The mule deserves no credit and should be put to death by the toiling masses who were exploited by the greedy farmer.

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Life is somehow even more full of despair than this tale of a stupid mule that survived due to the convenient temporary nonexistence of mud.

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I'd just like to reiterate that the mule did nothing more than take advantage of the toiling of others who were actually trying to murder it.

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The farmer looked for the easiest way to get the problem out of his life and accidentally saved the lesser of two things that he could use to survive. I don't like this story and ask that you try again.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

Congrats, Joe. This Institute is complete.