The t_host1 Institute of Comedy

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

This needs "goldmine" somewhere in the title if it's ever going to get off the ground

I don't remember my Calc class enough to be precisely sure what's going on here, but for some reason I found this hilarious ...

While we're on the subject of complex numbers...

Angus, Ernest, muon, Alfred!

If you know a solution to the equation ζ(z) = 0 whose imaginary part is ≠ 0 and whose real part ≠ ½ , please send it to me via PM.

And falsify the Riemann hypothesis?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

1920
President Napoleon has had a rocky two terms. Despite a number of progressive reforms, in his first four years, the Great War--along with Napoleon's alienating style of governance and his shaky position between the left- and right-wings of his party--has left him unpopular. Ignoring the critics, as well as the mid-term results and his subsequent failure in achieving all his goals, Napoleon was able to win nomination for a third term by his party. In order to revitalize the ticket, the popular Governor Benjamin Sawx was given the Vice Presidential slot. While many had anticipated that former President Theodore Roosevelt might step up to the plate for the GOP, his death in 1919 doomed that dream. Instead, the little known idiosyncratic former Congressman James H. Shua, who recently raised his public profile through opposition to Napoleon's foreign policy, was put up by the Party of Lincoln. The young Governor Elections Guy of Wisconsin was put on the bottom of the ticket, hoping to appeal to Mid-Western and German-American voters that had been alienated by some of Napoleon's policies.

The third party tickets would prove more interesting, though. Running from prison was former revolutionary Theodore Nugent Fauntroy, known by his adorers as "TNF". In order to give the party some presence outside the prison walls, hog farmer "A. Person" was made their Vice Presidential nominee. A farmer from Illinois, it was hoped his reputation as a representative of the common man through his name would help the party. The Prohibition Party, enraged at Governor Sawx's well known love for alcohol, is using him as a foil. Well known chastity activist and former Ambassador to France Antonio V. was paired with fellow Frenchmen and preacher Windjammer, who was known for his support for the banning of all drugs and his belief that free will was a myth.

With a splitting of the left-wing "reform" vote between TNF and Antonio, and the Democrats in dire straits, Shua easily won the electoral and popular vote.

Shua (R-VA)/Elections Guy (R-WI) 309 electoral votes
Napoleon (D-CT)/Sawx (D-NH) 127 electoral votes
TNF (S-KY)/a Person (S-IL) 91 electoral votes
Antonio (P-CA)/Windjammer (P-VT) 4 electoral votes

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Real emo. AKA absolutely NOTHING to do with stupid haircuts or guys wearing makeup.

So literally Mussolini?

His name is no Mussolini, and the most well known Mussolini died in 1945, before his birth, so no, it'd be impossible for him to be literally Mussolini.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Thank you every one!!! I ended up locating it in a document I had saved a long time ago.

Damn straight.  I have my bank PIN tattooed on my forehead, backward.  That way as I approach the drive-through ATM I just have to look up at the rear-view mirror to see it.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Remember when Ben Stein had like a second moment in the sun during the 90s?

Everyone wanted to win his money.

Apparently not enough people actually did.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

One of these is one of the worst shows on television, and even one of the worst of all time. It relies mostly on nothing but shock value and trying to push the envelope of what can be shown on TV, but with no attempt to actual make it clever or get any humor out of it. It features idiotic and unlikable characters, and really vapid plots with terrible messages. Also the creators are clearly complete morons who have the maturity of probably a 13 year old at best with the type of crap they shovel on it. It only appeals to the lowest common denominator and people who are easily amused by cheap shock value and really simplistic and vapid "humor".

The other is an HBO comedy about some girls living in NYC. I vote for Girls.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

What the hell was that?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

My suggestion to PPP: only one vote per zip code as identified by GPS.

Not sure you quite get how the internet works….

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Cuomo-Hochul sounds like a terrifying Aztec deity.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Of course Latin America comes out on top in wellness, Gallup doesn't sample Latinos.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

California: producing red-state human development indicators at blue-state prices.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

The local no-kill shelter here spays/neuters all cats up for adoption, and I believe that is the most common practice.

I'll help you out of that trees if I can have your balls for my collection.

No thanks.  I'll just stay up here.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Anyway I already pre-ordered this. Hopefully I get to join the elite group of people who read a book by a president before they became president (though that prize would never be worth the torture of having to read a book by a Republican).

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Anyway I already pre-ordered this. Hopefully I get to join the elite group of people who read a book by a president before they became president (though that prize would never be worth the torture of having to read a book by a Republican).

I think you're looking at the wrong antecedent. At least, I hope that you are...

I haven't actually read any of TR's books, but in any case the part in parenthesis isn't what I found most humorous.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Anyway I already pre-ordered this. Hopefully I get to join the elite group of people who read a book by a president before they became president (though that prize would never be worth the torture of having to read a book by a Republican).

I think you're looking at the wrong antecedent. At least, I hope that you are...

I haven't actually read any of TR's books, but in any case the part in parenthesis isn't what I found most humorous.

I'm not sure what you mean by that, but to clarify I meant 'antecedent' in the grammatical sense. i.e. IceSpear will join the 'elites' because he has read Hillary Clinton's book before she becomes POTUS.

Or maybe I am the only one who was silly enough to read it as a declaration of presidential ambitions.

You're right it could be read that way, in which case that actually would be an elite group of people. 

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I don't think you guys understand this thread at all.  You've been searching for a candidate that everyone is forgetting, but you forgot to look inside yourself.  Every day that you get up in the morning, get dressed, say goodbye to your loved ones, and head off to school or work, that is the part of you that is a candidate for the presidency.  When you ace that test or get that promotion, that's when you look inside of yourself and see a leader of the free world.  When you say to your romantic partner "The state of our Union is strong!", that's you giving an address before both houses of Congress.  And when you bump into someone on the subway and say "pardon me", that is the part of you that grants clemency to Caspar Weinberger and Marc Rich.

And here you guys were guessing names like Kathleen Sebelius and Charlie Crist.  I hope you all feel embarrassed now.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Please stop, this is not funny.

Nothing's funny here. It's all business.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I'm fairly sure Gen. Stuart would've agreed with the spray painted phrase.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Howie Hawkins is probably going to get at least five times the vote that he got in 2010.

In the July Marist poll, he was at 7%, so hopefully he only goes up from there.

Yeah, maybe he can crack 10% like Rich Whitney in Illinois back in '06.

my favorite moment was when a group of predominantly black Chicago precincts had ballots with the misprinted name "Rich Whitey"

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

The reason that McDonald's in America hires immigrants and single moms on welfare isn't because those workers are great, it's because those are the only people desperate enough to work for less than 8 dollars an hour. If you raise the minimum wage to 10 or 15 dollars an hour, management will likely decide to get their money's worth and start hiring people who can speak English and show up to work on time, ie childfree college educated liberal arts majors.

You guys are just apparently turning down massive amounts of sex.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

[Christie] seems to be moving in the right direction on this issue.  Very slowly.

lol

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Those appear to be considerably more than 35 mothef[inks]ing walruses, Tender.

European practice with numbers is to use the comma as the decimal point and either a period or a space as the thousands separator.  I realize the difference from American practice is sometimes confusing, but why in hell would anyone be counting thousandths of a walrus?  (And even if they wanted to, how could they?)

     German engineering, or in this case the closely related science of Austrian engineering, demands a degree of precision that can only be achieved by counting to the nearest thousandth of a walrus.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

SWE that post not only wasn't at all funny, it had a picture contained in it of people who had been murdered.  It doesn't belong in this thread.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

There is still room for Grimes to win this.

Yeah, in your head, which certainly has plenty of room.

Go play with your Santorum, Roberts and Brownback dolls, okay? Bye, little boy.

Ah, the "Senate Collection." Not available: Alison Lundergan Grimes.