Update XV: Stuck Inside of Tulsa with the Oklahoma City Blues Again

[memphis]

His parents didn't allow him to use the oven? What? Is it possible they see nothing wrong with what's going on with him? And I mean unless this was several years ago I doubt you'd need to make them yourself- I'm sure someone else already has and it's on YouTube for the world to see.

I mean I'd be willing to help him plan out three meals a day and check if he's followed it. I don't know for how long. And why, I'm not entirely sure.

Indeed, I'm so unsure about most of this that I've pretty much decided to embrace the "psychological" explanations for his behavior; ie, he uses his weight as an excuse for not taking responsibility or initiative in life, the whole Kenya adventure was an attempt to put himself in a position of authority, and so forth. Yet here I am offering help.

This was back when he was living in his parents' trailer. Mama Bushie is a high anxiety, overbearing type. The kitchen was her domain and hers alone. I doubt very much Papa Bushie would be allowed in either. Remember when he referred to Allison as "the boss?" We all had a good chuckle, but the truth is that middle American households are mostly matriarchies. If space allows, the neutered male of the household may be allowed by the female to have one room, or perhaps the garage, to serve as his "man cave" where he may pursue his own interests in peace. Except for this sad little retreat, women expect virtually absolute control of the household. I'm sure Papa Bushie, like most American men, has thrown in the towel and surrendered.

[King]

We have to be realists with Bushie and realize he's always going to be craving the food he's spent a whole lifetime eating.

Sorry to interject, longtime reader first time poster, but if this is the case has anyone suggested he switch to bison burgers?  Bison meat is much healthier for you than beef, rich in protein but with much lower cholesterol and saturated fats.  Has a bit of a sweeter taste to it as well.  It’s a little more expensive usually but the health effects would pay off in dividends.  

We can't even get them to switch from 80% to 95% lean

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Are there even Arabs in Tulsa?

They're in jail with the gayz and blacks.

[Хahar 🤔]

My parents don't use the oven ever. It really depends on what kind of food you're making.

[Simfan34]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZp29Qeu8_U

[Adam Griffin]

Memphis is right, Bushie's on the Michael Phelps diet at the moment. I'm telling you, a switch to a healthier diet would produce rapid changes. How many calories is Bushie eating at the moment?

Based on what has been disclosed in the past vis a vis diet and weight gain rate, somewhere between 3,500-4,000/day seems to be the running average.

[Adam Griffin]

King, I don't know how that would work. A gallon a day? That's twice the recommended amount. I mean I can see the logic in it but I feel like that can exacerbate uneven eating. Which is why I suggest eating a lot of water-heavy food, because it has that filling effect whilst having some nutrition and calories.

Actually, it's really not. You need at least 1 ounce of water for every 2 pounds of weight. That means he needs about 1 gallon and a regular-sized water bottle on top of that. If you're profusely working out, then it's closer to 1:1. Considering how dehydrated he must be, how slow his metabolism is now due to years of abuse and the fact that he needs an appetite suppressant, a gallon of water per day might not be enough.

And really: the root of this is portion control, not the type of food he eats. He prioritizes pleasure in his food above all else; virtually every other generation of humanity didn't have that luxury and the reality is that eating is a requirement/responsibility, not a guilty pleasure we do for fun. Even if he finds healthy food that he enjoys and can actually stick with it, he's just going to eat 4,000 calories per day worth of it and remain morbidly obese. He might add back a couple of years to his life but at the end of the day, he's still ultimately going to suffer/continue to suffer from obesity-related illnesses and die insanely young. He needs to master getting by on half of the junk he eats every day before he can realistically worry about eating healthy. If he tries to do both at once, he'll just fail spectacularly due to his infantile addiction to food caused by a child-like palette and complete lack of self-control.

[Meursault]

My suggestion to Bushie:

1. Drop about sixty pounds, putting perhaps fifteen of it back on as (lean) muscle. You'll need it to re-invent your persona along the lines I'm recommending.

2. Throw out your entire wardrobe. Purchase the following items:

* Three white long-sleeve button ups.
* Three black dress slacks.
* A set of black leather suspenders, to be worn over the dress shirts.
* Black leather dress boots - buckled, not laced.
* A slightly oversized vest, to be worn open and unbuttoned.
* A black, spiked heavy metal leather wristband.

3. Drop your taste for country and western music and begin listening to a lot of krautrock, 70s funk, 90s industrial, and mid-era David Bowie. Watch arthouse films.

4. Grow out a - clean, undercut - ponytail.

5. Become a chain smoker.

6. Abandon your faith in a God who has abandoned you.

[memphis]

Who said that Bushie was a fan of country? The only music he has expressed an interest in is Christmas music. On that point, it is almost time to switch over to those beloved carols and to put up his seasonal tree. Joy to the World!

[King]

lol

[Indy Texas]

Who said that Bushie was a fan of country? The only music he has expressed an interest in is Christmas music. On that point, it is almost time to switch over to those beloved carols and to put up his seasonal tree. Joy to the World!

...it's June.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

RIP CHURCH.

[Joe Biden 2020]

RIP CHURCH.

Funny you should say that, I just got back from church.  I've got some energy today, so I plan on tapping into this energy and make my Walmart run this afternoon sometime.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Who said that Bushie was a fan of country? The only music he has expressed an interest in is Christmas music. On that point, it is almost time to switch over to those beloved carols and to put up his seasonal tree. Joy to the World!

...it's June.

That doesn't stop me from listening to Christmas Music.  I don't care if it's June/July or November/December.  I usually start listening to Christmas music around this time of year, anyway, and put my tree up in October.

[Meursault]

Have you ever read the Vedas, Bushie?

[Franzl]

RIP CHURCH.

Funny you should say that, I just got back from church.  I've got some energy today, so I plan on tapping into this energy and make my Walmart run this afternoon sometime.

Wow. Just make sure you don't overexert yourself.

[afleitch]

Is this still a thing?

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

My suggestion to Bushie:

1. Drop about sixty pounds, putting perhaps fifteen of it back on as (lean) muscle. You'll need it to re-invent your persona along the lines I'm recommending.

2. Throw out your entire wardrobe. Purchase the following items:

* Three white long-sleeve button ups.
* Three black dress slacks.
* A set of black leather suspenders, to be worn over the dress shirts.
* Black leather dress boots - buckled, not laced.
* A slightly oversized vest, to be worn open and unbuttoned.
* A black, spiked heavy metal leather wristband.

3. Drop your taste for country and western music and begin listening to a lot of krautrock, 70s funk, 90s industrial, and mid-era David Bowie. Watch arthouse films.

4. Grow out a - clean, undercut - ponytail.

5. Become a chain smoker.

6. Abandon your faith in a God who has abandoned you.

While for most people this would be a step down or in the wrong direction, Bushie's at the point where almost any change would help.

[King]

RIP CHURCH.

Funny you should say that, I just got back from church.  I've got some energy today, so I plan on tapping into this energy and make my Walmart run this afternoon sometime.

Wow. Just make sure you don't overexert yourself.

Perhaps he should pace his Wal Mart trip by going every day to buy 1 one item

[memphis]

Every Sunday, the local Memphis paper does an article where they interview a recent home buyer and show off the property s/he has just purchased. A few years back there was an older lady who had just bought a monster 8,000 sq ft house with one room that she kept decorated for Christmas all year long. Giant fake tree, red bows, the works. I wonder why Bushie doesn't do the same. If he likes Christmas so much, why not just pick a room and keep it perpetually decorated with tinsel and wreaths?

[Joe Republic]

Every Sunday, the local Memphis paper does an article where they interview a recent home buyer and show off the property s/he has just purchased. A few years back there was an older lady who had just bought a monster 8,000 sq ft house with one room that she kept decorated for Christmas all year long. Giant fake tree, red bows, the works. I wonder why Bushie doesn't do the same. If he likes Christmas so much, why not just pick a room and keep it perpetually decorated with tinsel and wreaths?

Reminds me of the grandma in The United States of Tara.

[afleitch]

Every Sunday, the local Memphis paper does an article where they interview a recent home buyer and show off the property s/he has just purchased. A few years back there was an older lady who had just bought a monster 8,000 sq ft house with one room that she kept decorated for Christmas all year long. Giant fake tree, red bows, the works. I wonder why Bushie doesn't do the same. If he likes Christmas so much, why not just pick a room and keep it perpetually decorated with tinsel and wreaths?

Reminds me of the grandma in The United States of Tara.

I loved that show. Much more entertaining than this one.

[WalterMitty]

bushie if you are this petered out at age 32, imagine 62!

[Joe Biden 2020]

bushie if you are this petered out at age 32, imagine 62!

Again, there is an underlying medical condition causing it.  A condition that is genetically caused and obesity-aggravated.  I am taking medicine for said condition.  Today has been a bit of an improvement.  I did take a nap today, but I had more energy during the times I have been awake.  I also just applied for three jobs about 20-30 minutes ago.  That's totally unexpected for a Sunday, but I was curious if anything came in over the weekend and sure enough three good ones came in this afternoon.

[King]

bushie if you are this petered out at age 32, imagine 62!

Again, there is an underlying medical condition causing it.  A condition that is genetically caused and obesity-aggravated. 

So then end the madness and get on the dole already.