1908 Conventions

The Union Party had expected to ride a wave of victory in 1908, with the less combative Senate Majority Leader Henry Cabot Lodge expected to sweep the floor with radical socialist Debs, but alas it was not meant to be as the seeming explosion of Union support was revealed to be a natural consequence of the more western states being late with the returns. Though he had to fight through one of the narrowest election wins in recent memory, the 24th President of the United States and the second to be elected from his party (although the fourth overall), Eugene Victor Debs set out to do great things, but like Donnelly before him his foreign policy significantly hindered his economic policy. While he was able (with the help of most of the Bull-Moosers and a few moderate Unionists) to pass the 16th Amendment, providing for direct election of Senators, his next move was not as well-received. Declaring that “we must end our imperialist policies towards our fellow citizens of the world”, he unilaterally removed all US troops from the Philippines and Cuba, letting them continue on as independent nations free from US involvement. This move, as well as his refusal to aid Panamanian rebels against the Colombian government in order to gain favorable terms for a canal treaty, caught the ire of many expansionists in his own party, from one-time Presidential candidate William Randolph Hearst to the remaining Donnellyites; Debs’s wing of the party (and the People’s Alliance in general) lost quite a bit of ground to the Unionists and the Rooseveltian wing of the Bull-Moose Party in the midterms and the President was left unable to pursue any of his major policy achievements except for a watered-down reduction in child labor. Reduced to using federal action, Debs set about wielding his executive power in a way no one had seen before on that scale, reviving the Sherman Act (which hadn’t even really been used by President Donnelly) to “bust the trusts” with the help of the eager Attorney General Louis Brandeis, an idea he regretfully had to take from a gloating Theodore Roosevelt; the terrible twosome have already broken up the hated Standard Oil and the wicked Northern Securities Company. In addition, a little rigmarole with the great state of Dakota, the political home of Ignatius Donnelly, turned into some rather bloody rioting when the Unionist North attempted to break away from the Populist South; the violence was only calmed by Debs and Congress acquiescing to the Northerners’ demands in exchange for creating the new states of Wyoming and Montana.

However, Debs could not contain the cancer of racism that had infected the People’s Alliance for almost ten years now come election time (remember Butler and Watson and Tillman? Yeah, this is them), and his restoration of the Reed Brigade early on in his tenure was the straw that broke the plantation owner’s back, culminating in Senator Tom Watson claiming the “Populist” mantle for himself in 1906 and leaving Gene and the Gang with the “Farmer-Labor” name. They’re running a veritable rogues’ gallery of candidates who all seem to be attempting to outdo each other in the racism department, including Watson himself (naturally), who hates blacks and Catholics, Senator James McCreary, who wants to give women the vote and hates a certain group of people (can you guess which one? Hint: it begins with black and ends with people), Governor Tom Campbell, who just seems to hate everyone from minorities to banks, Senator Francis Newlands is running on a platform of banning blacks from voting and restoring the nation’s roads and bridges (and also taking over Hawaii), and James Vardaman, whose campaign theme seems to be “if it is necessary every Negro…will be lynched; it will be done to maintain white supremacy.” Oh, and there's some guy named Holy Joe who wants to ban alcohol or some sh**t like that, but it's OK because he doesn't seem that racist.

Now that all those unsavory folks are done with, let's get on to the normal parties. Debs (who intends to go ahead with a more forcefully leftist platform if given a new mandate - income tax, the full abolition of child labor, renationalizing the railroads, maybe a few more things if he thinks of them) is facing token opposition from a mysterious Minnesotan named John Johnson, who wants to compromise with the Unionists like a whiny face. Some asshole from Delaware named George Gray ( alliteration, man) is running as well about something something Panama something something Philippines something something imperialism.

As for the Union Party, it seems to just be a bunch of washed-up has-beens - Lodge, McKinley, Cannon (what the hell is he doing in politics? He was only ever important because two people happened to die at a certain time and now he thinks he's Mr. Non-Consecutive-Terms? He thinks he can be the next ing John Quincy Adams? that guy); Cannon's speeches seem to consist almost entirely of crying and screaming, however, so it's not entirely sure what he wants to achieve. There is also Senator Chauncey Depew, who's in the pocket of the railroad barons and has been alleged (though never conclusively proven) to just stare at pictures of Jay Gould and masturbate furiously, and Senator Frank Hanly, a leading prohibitionist and eugenicist who, like all the other candidates, hates the poor.

The Bull-Moose Party's leaders (aka Theodore Roosevelt and Robert La Follette) decided to sit this one out and twiddle their thumbs as some other folks have a chance. The obvious choice is first-term Governor Charles Evans Hughes of New York, a nice gentleman and staunch progressive who supports increasing social welfare programs and suchlike, but not as much as that crazy-ass mofo Debs, amirite? 1904 VP nominee and imperialist Albert Beveridge is also running, as is notedly conservationist Senator Joseph Dixon of Montana and Governor Andrew Harris of Ohio, who wants to ban all campaign contributions and then sit around and wait for something to happen, I guess. His official platform is literally just "PUBLIC FINANCING" written in dried blood on a scrap of paper - this reporter doesn't have a lot to work with here.

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