1913 Confederate Presidential Election

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

(All of the candidates are former-Populists because  you, that's why. They don't technically have any political parties though. They're also all crazy racist unless otherwise stated.)

The election of 1912 was one of the most controversial in US history, with third-place finisher Oscar Underwood taking advantage of the FLP’s old majorities to claw through two rounds of congressional voting despite taking under a quarter of the popular vote, and many would not stand for this. The first serious rumblings of anti-Underwood sentiment came from the Populist-dominated South, where the members of said party had walked out on the House vote in a nice show of solidarity that did little but helping Underwood win some Southern states, but tensions were brought to a high when Underwood’s massive expansion of the Reed Brigade came into effect, sweeping through the South to destroy the Ku Klux Klan once and for all. While Underwood did enjoy some temporary success with his efforts (his proudest achievement being the arrest and imprisonment of the mob that killed Jewish factory manager Leo Frank, which included several prominent Georgians), no one could have imagined the backlash that was to come. Tensions rose throughout his presidency and boiled over when, on July 4, 1913, an event occurred that came to be known as the Stone Mountain Massacre: a battalion of Reed Brigade troops attempted to disperse a massive Klan ritual ceremony, and the Klansmen responded with violence; in the ensuing chaos, seventeen Klansmen (including Congressman James F. Byrnes) and three National Guardsmen were killed, and the South decided she could not take it anymore. Declaring “an end to the tyranny of the usurper in Washington”, Tom Watson led the charge for secession, with Georgia becoming the first state of the new Confederacy of American States; many other states of the old Confederacy followed suit as well as a few more just for kicks. Underwood has promised to "bring the traitorous scum to heel", but the Confederates aren't listening. But now, alas, comes the post-celebration hassle of electing a leader, a spiritual successor of sorts to John Tyler but hopefully more effective at actually running things.

The eight men who have presented themselves before the hastily-chosen Confederate Congress for a chance to live in infamy in all future APUSH textbooks are as follows. Watson, the original architect of secession, is the clear frontrunner, having been the founder of the Populist Party and one of the first to call for impeachment of Underwood (the cries for impeachment died down significantly after 99% of the Southern delegation decided to take their ball and go home), and also having had some handy executive experience in his two years as Georgia Governor. Behind him is the least legitimate President in the history of the nation, Marion Butler, who is pretty much by definition the highest official to endorse the Confederacy, as well as Butler's fellow Tarheeler Furnifold Simmons, nicknamed King Furnifold I for his grip on the state's political machine; Simmons was a great enemy of Zebulon Vance back when the latter was governor.

Down deeper into the South we find a due of Mississippi Governors: lynch-happy Jim Vardaman, an also-ran in the Populist primary a while back, and rising star Theodore Bilbo, who is noted for his rather eccentric personality (he prefers to refer to himself in the third person) and the fact that he's so racist he literally wrote a book about how black people are taking over America. Rounding out the candidates are the not-as-racist-as-the-others Joseph F. Johnston, who is running as the voice of moderation in the field, the wealthy Braxton Bragg Comer, who owns a ton of businesses and is named after a little-known Confederate army officer who was hanged in 1840, and finally Coleman L. Blease, who hates Coca-Cola almost as much as he hates black people.

You have three days. Vote, my pretties, vote!

[Cassius]

Wuh?

Bubba Comer I guess.

[PPT Spiral]

Bilbo for maximum hilarity.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Wuh?

Bubba Comer I guess.

What did you expect when a President elected with less than a quarter of the vote decides to send federal troops into the South?

I'm debating between Blease, Watson, Simmons, and Bilbo myself.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

If no one is dominating such that Malcolm and I determine that they win, we'll have a runoff.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Fun fact: I just realized North Carolina didn't secede the first time around ITL

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Fun fact: I just realized North Carolina didn't secede the first time around ITL

Yeah, the original secession was weird. What should the new Confederacy be?

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Fun fact: I just realized North Carolina didn't secede the first time around ITL

Yeah, the original secession was weird. What should the new Confederacy be?

Hmm...SC, GE, FL, AL, MS, TX, AR, TN, and just for fun, let's throw in a hopelessly isolated West Virginia and Delaware.  Secessionist conventions fail in NC, VA, MD, MO, KY, and LA.  It secedes from Virginia too after secession narrowly failed there.  The North Carolinians would probably be exiles.  The capitol should be Atlanta, that much is certain.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Fun fact: I just realized North Carolina didn't secede the first time around ITL

Yeah, the original secession was weird. What should the new Confederacy be?

Hmm...SC, GE, FL, AL, MS, TX, AR, TN, and just for fun, let's throw in a hopelessly isolated West Virginia and Delaware.  Secessionist conventions fail in NC, VA, MD, MO, KY, and LA.  It secedes from Virginia too after secession narrowly failed there.  The North Carolinians would probably be exiles.  The capitol should be Atlanta, that much is certain.

Really? Why do you think they'd fail in NC and LA?

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Fun fact: I just realized North Carolina didn't secede the first time around ITL

Yeah, the original secession was weird. What should the new Confederacy be?

Hmm...SC, GE, FL, AL, MS, TX, AR, TN, and just for fun, let's throw in a hopelessly isolated West Virginia and Delaware.  Secessionist conventions fail in NC, VA, MD, MO, KY, and LA.  It secedes from Virginia too after secession narrowly failed there.  The North Carolinians would probably be exiles.  The capitol should be Atlanta, that much is certain.

Really? Why do you think they'd fail in NC and LA?

Actually, they'd probably succeed in NC, as I think about it.  Louisiana has always had a weird and complicated racial hierarchy relative to the rest of the South.  In most of the South it seems like not white meant you were black.  In Louisiana, they took all the non-sense about 1/8 vs. 1/4 vs. 1/12 black very seriously, IIRC.  I feel like they'd be somewhat less fire-eatery in their racism at this point in the timeline (well, other than the Cajun areas, but that always struck me as more of "We have to be above someone on the totem-pole" than anything else").  I could be way off, but that's my understanding.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Fun fact: I just realized North Carolina didn't secede the first time around ITL

Yeah, the original secession was weird. What should the new Confederacy be?

Hmm...SC, GE, FL, AL, MS, TX, AR, TN, and just for fun, let's throw in a hopelessly isolated West Virginia and Delaware.  Secessionist conventions fail in NC, VA, MD, MO, KY, and LA.  It secedes from Virginia too after secession narrowly failed there.  The North Carolinians would probably be exiles.  The capitol should be Atlanta, that much is certain.

Really? Why do you think they'd fail in NC and LA?

Actually, they'd probably succeed in NC, as I think about it.  Louisiana has always had a weird and complicated racial hierarchy relative to the rest of the South.  In most of the South it seems like not white meant you were black.  In Louisiana, they took all the non-sense about 1/8 vs. 1/4 vs. 1/12 black very seriously, IIRC.  I feel like they'd be somewhat less fire-eatery in their racism at this point in the timeline (well, other than the Cajun areas, but that always struck me as more of "We have to be above someone on the totem-pole" than anything else").  I could be way off, but that's my understanding.

OK, I'll defer to your judgment. And are we considering Stone Mountain as a suburb of Atlanta? I like the KKK symbolism there.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Fun fact: I just realized North Carolina didn't secede the first time around ITL

Yeah, the original secession was weird. What should the new Confederacy be?

Hmm...SC, GE, FL, AL, MS, TX, AR, TN, and just for fun, let's throw in a hopelessly isolated West Virginia and Delaware.  Secessionist conventions fail in NC, VA, MD, MO, KY, and LA.  It secedes from Virginia too after secession narrowly failed there.  The North Carolinians would probably be exiles.  The capitol should be Atlanta, that much is certain.

Really? Why do you think they'd fail in NC and LA?

Actually, they'd probably succeed in NC, as I think about it.  Louisiana has always had a weird and complicated racial hierarchy relative to the rest of the South.  In most of the South it seems like not white meant you were black.  In Louisiana, they took all the non-sense about 1/8 vs. 1/4 vs. 1/12 black very seriously, IIRC.  I feel like they'd be somewhat less fire-eatery in their racism at this point in the timeline (well, other than the Cajun areas, but that always struck me as more of "We have to be above someone on the totem-pole" than anything else").  I could be way off, but that's my understanding.

OK, I'll defer to your judgment. And are we considering Stone Mountain as a suburb of Atlanta? I like the KKK symbolism there.

Sure

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Bump.