H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY
Alfred F. Jones
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« on: July 17, 2014, 04:43:57 PM » |
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In a not-so-shocking turn of events, the Union Party forced yet another incumbent President out of power, ignoring Root's calls for "an actual return to normalcy this time guys, I promise" and nominated conservative darlings John Calvin Coolidge and Warren Gamaliel Harding, the latter of whom seems to be mainly on the ticket for comic relief and because he looks Presidential. Much like Underwood in 1916, the two are attempting to focus away from the issues of the previous term (the rather messy process of Reconstruction and the slightly less messy process of the Great War) and back onto some good old union-busting, with Coolidge famously pronouncing "The business of America is business" before walking away from the podium in what appears to be the second-shortest campaign speech in recent history, eclipsed only by John Quincy Adams's 1836 stump speech " slavery" and Populist nominee Carter Glass's acceptance speech at the Atlanta convention, which consisted entirely of a grotesque pantomime of the Second Civil War in a dirty Klan hood. He picked Woodrow Wilson for Vice President again, of course, and the two are traversing the nation (mostly the South) hanging with Confederate veterans and attending a funeral service for the recently assassinated Theodore Bilbo.
On the left side of the aisle, we have two very nice tickets, guaranteed to kick up a storm probably. Two of the FLP's and BMP's greatest heroes, Old Man Eugene and Fighting Bob are squaring off against both each other and the "Axis of Evil" between Root and Glass. For Vice President, Debs has picked rising star Fiorello La Guardia, a hard-driving New Yorker who has become an icon to his city and to his party (there is even talk of a mayoral run should he lose) in an interesting reversal of the winning 1904 ticket. For his part, La Follette has picked popular Pennsylvanian Gifford Pinchot, a champion of good-government policies, trust-busting, and especially conservation during his time in Harrisburg.
The Farmers-Laborers are running on a platform many have described as socialist in nature - nationalization of major industries (the banks, the railroads, the mines), universal health care, a strong federal hand in Reconstruction (including a pardon for the man who shot Theodore Bilbo, one Zebulon V. Sharpe), and some other things - whereas the Bull-Meese are staying strong in the progressive tradition that has allowed them to rise up and go toe-to-toe with the Farmers-Laborers; while their platform does include some nationalizations, notably the cigarette factories, it focuses more on trust-busting, a tactic that has lain dormant for over ten years, and in addition La Follette is focusing more on women's suffrage than Debs has. On the issue of Prohibition, Coolidge personally opposes it but supports letting the states decide (though he certainly wouldn't go as far as a 19th Amendment or anything like that), Debs cautiously supports it, and La Follette and Glass have stayed mostly silent on the issue (though running mate Pinchot supports a federal amendment - a possible hint at future Bull-Moose policies?).
Three days, just like always. This'll be fun!
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