Ask Obama

[Beet]

Well, what do you want to know about the president's opinions? Ask away.

[Mr. Illini]

The year which he first actually supported gay marriage.

[Eraserhead]

Do you speak for him in an official capacity? I thought you were a Clinton person.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

Does he want to get jiggy with it?

[Mr. Morden]

Two questions:

1) If Kitty Dukakis were raped and murdered, what penalty would you support for the offender?

2) When you were debating Hillary Clinton in 2008, did you ever ask her "Just between you and me, who really hired Craig Livingstone?" during the commercial breaks, just to mess with her head?

[Antonio the Sixth]

Why do you hate America so much?

[Beet]

The year which he first actually supported gay marriage.

I'll have to defer to Joe Biden on that one. Joe?

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I don't know what you're talking about. Bill and I have an excellent relationship.

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I - uhm. Well I did when I saw Mitt Romney talking about the 47 percent! And last year when Ted Cr--uhm-- well I was devastated, by, uhm, the shutdown of the government, I was so devastated I wanted to get jiggy.

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Kitty has been dear to my heart since I first learned about her during the '88 campaign. Even though I was in Kenya at the time, and about to start law school, she was a great inspiration to me. A great, great inspiration. Heh-heh. You know, I meet with an awful lot of folks and they tell me, "we don't oppose all executions, we just oppose dumb executions." So that's what we'd try to do if -uhm- somehow this ended up being -uhm- the responsibility of the Federal government. You know, Michelle tells me all the time, rape is rape, and she's smarter than me. What's important is that we don't -uh- deny these rape victims access to birth control.

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Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. No, no, Hillary -uhm- you know, those were some interesting times. Hillary was certainly a good sport. A lot of people were for her. I don't want to take that away from her. She was likable enough- and I certainly wish her the best in all her future endeavors.

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Well I didn't know I was going to be interviewed by Cliven Bundy. I was certainly proud of my country when I won the Iowa caucus, I'll tell you that.

[SWE]

Republicans tell me you're going to declare the United States a socialist country by executive order, so I was wondering when you'll get to doing that.

[I Will Not Be Wrong]

Why won't you stop unnecessary deportations? 

[Antonio the Sixth]

How many thousand people has Obamacare killed so far? Which numerical target would you set to consider it a success?

[DC Al Fine]

Can you confirm that any conspiracy theories are actually true?

[H. Ross Peron]

Coke or Pepsi?

Boxers or briefs?

Spit or swallow?

[RR1997]

Were you born in Kenya,Niger, or Rwanda?

Are you a Muslim?

Why do you hate the free world?

Why is a filthy darkie like you in the WHITE house?

Why are you spying on hard-working, tax paying American citizens?

[Flake]

Will you give them the ol' razzle dazzle?

[Beet]

Republicans tell me you're going to declare the United States a socialist country by executive order, so I was wondering when you'll get to doing that.

Well let me clear, I think we've got to look past pat ideological answers and turn to technocratic solutions. That's why I brought such esteemed gentlemen such as Tim Geithner and Larry Summers to turn our economy around during my first term.

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Well Thomas, let me explain. First of all, I feel deep sympathy for the children and the families of these children who are just trying to do what's best for them. And I've been gratified at the support I received from the Hispanic community throughout my career and we've been working closely with the Hispanic caucus. But make no mistake. We can't accept an unlimited number of children. That's why I've asked the Republicans in Congress to fix the problem, and the buck stops with them now.

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Who let the Fox News reporter in the room?

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Well some of them are, yes.

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Coke.

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I'm not going to answer that.

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...

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Mister Cheney, with all due respect, Mr. Holder and I have been quite lenient with you.

[Antonio the Sixth]

You're the most boring Obama ever...

[Wake Me Up When The Hard Border Ends]

Did you vote for George W. Bush?

[HagridOfTheDeep]

Where is your real birth certificate?