Update XVI: Sidejackin' it in the Train Room.

[Brittain33]

I don't know Bushie's height, someone of his weight would likely need to eat over 3,000 calories per day to maintain current weight. He's probably not being honest in his count.

MyFitnessPal tracks based on your own estimates of how much you've eaten and what exactly you've eaten, and with you having entered everything, whether it's a small snack or a meal. It's very easy to estimate portion size incorrectly, *especially* if you're eating out and having the equivalent of 2-3 meals.

[Brittain33]

I just made it to work.  I'll get started in 2 minutes.  This is the conclusion of Week 1!

Jeff, congratulations on getting off to a great start this week. This is the right job for you and it's a challenge for anyone to shift into full-time work mode from job search. You should be proud.

[Brittain33]

Why go out for a hamburger? It's the easiest thing in the world to make at home. Also, while it's nice that you have a job now, at your current wage and debt levels, you still can't afford to eat out ever.

Oh, I know.  I went to the grocery store today and got stuff for lunches and dinners this week so I can eat in all week starting tomorrow.  I'm going back to my parents next weekend, so if we go out to eat, they'll foot the bill.

At this point, aren't they pretty much footing the bill anyway?  There's no way you're even paying half your expenses (and yes, debt reduction is an expense).

I will be paying for nearly 2/3 of my bills with my expected income.

Yeah, I've heard that before.  You were supposed to be fully financially independent in April.  I'll believe it when I see it.

Can we have a moratorium on discussing financial issues while he's getting adjusted to his job, don't you think?

[Brittain33]

I can't believe that after years of people encouraging Bushie to find a non-call center job and stick with it, once he's accomplished that, he's getting cracks about sex and his social life.

I'm not anyone important here and can't summon up the moral authority of a Gustaf or Al to rain down lightning bolts on this thread, but I ask people to take a step back, think about what's actually happened here, and whether what you're doing is helping or hurting. 

[Brittain33]

That's cool that they treat their cows well though. Maybe Braum's ain't so bad after all.

I love that their website discusses their vertical integration, selling fresh milk and also ice cream they make from that milk, but is quiet about the logical next step to hamburgers.

[Brittain33]

Those Braum's sundaes do look good.

[Brittain33]

Good Tuesday Evening!  This was by far the best day I've had in the first 12 days of work!!  Nothing went wrong and I mean NOTHING!!  I didn't have any major corrections, just very, very minor cosmetic stuff and even that was few in number.  After lunch, I got the honor of doing a few projects directly from the owner.  The owner who has been drafting since 1959, 23 years before I was born, asked me, who has been drafting professionally for 2 1/2 weeks to do a couple projects for him!!  I was honored!!  I got the two projects correct the first time!!  I am going to add to the second project when I get in tomorrow.

Great job, Jeff—a real vote of confidence in your work and reliability if they are giving you more important projects.

[Brittain33]

Lunch time.  The day isn't going quite as well, but it's still very good.  My boss is overall pleased with my work, I just need to pick up the pace in my learning.  I've got a lot of stuff yet to learn, and I need to learn faster.  Otherwise, I am doing great.

Well, this must have been uncomfortable, but it's good that he gave you constructive feedback. Can I ask what he's suggesting for improvement?

[Brittain33]

I think Jeff might be a supertaster. It's common for people who have a heightened sense of taste to find ordinary bitter foods to be unpleasant. I saw on television once a guy who had eaten only French fries for decades because all other food made him nauseous... They diagnosed him as a supertaster.

[Brittain33]

does anyone else think this is just too good to be true?

Yeah, sometimes I worry we'll get bad news out of the blue. But you have to admit, this is the kind of job he should have at the right kind of office.

[Brittain33]

Lunch time.  This has been a really good day so far.  I'm ready to get off at 1630 and watch football at 1700.

Great. It is good to hear things are going well.

[Brittain33]

Again, why am I being attacked for something that happened 6 years ago?

Because you seem to be justifying it or thinking that it wasn't that bad of a decision.

Inks, what is your opinion of Jeff's current job and how he's doing?

That seems more relevant to his future success than whether he's properly atoning for bad decisions in the distant past to strangers on a web forum.

[Brittain33]

It's all in his mentality.  Over the years, we've seen Bushie regress, rather than progress.  His job and CAD attendance (excluding the current job) got worse over time.  His ability to cook got worse over time.  His health got worse over time.  Now, he claims that these things have changed, and for the moment, it looks like they have; however, he needs to actually realize his past mistakes and be conscious of his tendency to regress, otherwise his good habits will slowly fade away, and he'll go back to a period of regressing.

I hear you. I think all of us (including Jeff) agree that his decisionmaking processes haven't been good in the past, and that he continues to struggle in areas like how he's eating.

You and I both want what's best for Jeff. One tactic is to keep pointing to past decisions and discussing why they were bad. The problem with that is, that's what we've ALL been doing the last 7 years of Update, and it's not the right key for this lock. Jeff knows where he's made mistakes, we've established that. The challenge has been getting into good behaviors.

And now for the first time in a long time Jeff's been unequivocally successful in one area and has been doing everything people suggested. He's got a job appropriate for his skills and temperament, and he's getting up and going to work every single day. To support Jeff, we need to recognize his success here as a foundation for greater change. The key to making good decisions isn't just knowing what you're doing wrong. It's to feel good about yourself—for solid reasons—and to feel in control of your life.

[Brittain33]

Surely there are other places than Wal-mart to buy groceries. Your beloved Braum's, for example. Heck, a cursory Google search shows there's even a Whole Foods in Tulsa. (Are there really enough liberal upper-middle class white people in Tulsa to support one of those?) Where in the city do you live? The downtown area (which appears to be one square mile ringed by interstates) seems decent, but wow is the suburban sprawl endless.

Whoa, welcome back.