Update XVI: Sidejackin' it in the Train Room.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

A long time ago I suggested that he considered cleaning toilets. Does Tulsa have municipal toilets?

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Sweet that you all assume that this isn't just hypochondria.

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When you write that you 'do not have the most ergonomic chair' do you in fact mean that you cannot find a chair to fit your not inconsiderable girth?

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[Filuwaúrdjan]

I hesitate to post this as I don't really want to get properly involved in this freak show, but some things just can't...

So you think you're getting old, do you? You're thirty two, right? In your average first world country this means you aren't even middle aged, but still a young man.

Still, premature aging can happen. Allow me to give you an example.

My Great-Grandad died at fifty and in photos taken shortly before he does indeed look like an old man, particularly when compared to a photo of him taken when he was in his twenties. But then he worked down a colliery his entire life (going down the pits for the first time as a boy), and for most of those decades he worked in the most physically demanding of jobs - a hewer - in what was still an unmechanised industry. At various times in his job he came quite close to dying (not unusual in the coal industry at the time, alas). He also lived in such dire poverty in the 20s and 30s that he could literally not afford to feed his family... and at the time of those photos had either pneumoconiosis or cancer, and quite probably both.

You grew up (and have mostly lived in) comfort, with all your wants taken care of. Except when attempting to scam people as a door-to-door con artists (hardly a physically demanding activity I suspect), you have worked a series of desk jobs. You have not suffered any serious medical emergences. You barely even walk anywhere. You are not getting old. You are just grossly fat.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Has it ever occurred to you that you don't have to post every detail of your life on an internet forum? Genuinely curious.

I should also point out that there are, of course, other (non alcoholic) cold drinks that can be consumed other than water or fizzy ket.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

There was also a strawberry on the plate.

I love this. One whole strawberry.