Did your mother keep or change her name when she got married?

[Oakvale]

She kept it.

No problem with this tradition, but it's more widespread than I'd expect considering it's basically pointless.

Yes. I guess it could be a fairly obvious lingering little bit of patriarchy if you wanted to make an argument of it though.

[Panda Express]

She kept it. It is indeed a pointless practice but I think a woman should be more inclined to change her name if her new last name would sound  "cooler" than her old one. For example, if her last name is "Smith", she should be jumping for joy to change it.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Changed, but in those days everybody changed.

[traininthedistance]

My mom changed her name.

My GF's mom kept hers, though.

I know multiple couples who decided to mash their two last names into one new Frankenname, which is an option I have a quite favorable opinion of, actually.  (But realistically we'll both just end up keeping our names if/when the time comes.)

[politicallefty]

Changed. It wasn't the first time though, as she changed from her birth name when she was a child when my grandmother remarried.

I'm actually not sure I know any couple personally where the wife didn't change her name. I suppose it is an odd thing to do if you really think about it, but I also like the idea of a family having the same surname.

[TTS1996]

My mother changed her name, but that was in 1957. My wife kept hers when we married in 1988. My children have my wife's middle name and my last name. My wife's middle name was her mother's family name so it created a parallel matrilineal series to the patrilineal last name.

MY POSTS ARE BAD AND I SHOULD FEEL BAD

[Antonio the Sixth]

I know multiple couples who decided to mash their two last names into one new Frankenname, which is an option I have a quite favorable opinion of, actually.

Really? That sounds absolutely dreadful to me.

[TJ in Oregon]

She changed it. She's an elementary school teacher, so that's not a field where her last name is crucial to publications, reputation, etc.

[Simfan34]

I imagine hyphenation, for both spouses, as a sort of custom would very quickly make us all sound like a bunch of bizarrely named English aristocrats. If Peter Flynn marries Beatrice Mendez and has a kid named Anthony, who in turn marries Alice Glazowski-Chanut, their kid would be named Colin Mendez-Flynn-Glazowski-Chanut, who would then marry Beth Harper-Zhang-Rothman-Wald, and their kid would be named...

[TJ in Oregon]

I imagine hyphenation, for both spouses, as a sort of custom would very quickly make us all sound like a bunch of bizarrely named English aristocrats. If Peter Flynn marries Beatrice Mendez and has a kid named Anthony, who in turn marries Alice Glazowski-Chanut, their kid would be named Colin Mendez-Flynn-Glazowski-Chanut, who would then marry Beth Harper-Zhang-Rothman-Wald, and their kid would be named...

Do people with hyphenated names do that? Or do they just take one of them at some point?

[Mopsus]

In my opinion, the most logical system is for both spouses keep their last name and for the kids to adopt the last name of whoever gave birth to them.

[TDAS04]

She changed it. 

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

Changed it. But she has said she will revert if she and my dad were to ever divorce. Judging by all the obstacles they have been through together, including my dad's heart attack, my dad's three battles with cancer (all of which were hidden from me very convincingly, I didn't find out about the last battle until 2013, which was four years after the fact), my middle brothers recent addiction, and the millions of hurdles thrown by my youngest brothers autism, I don't see her name ever changing.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

I know multiple couples who decided to mash their two last names into one new Frankenname, which is an option I have a quite favorable opinion of, actually.

Really? That sounds absolutely dreadful to me.

There's a seen in Llewlyn Davis where the protagonist encounters a couple named Greenfung instead of Green-Fung.

[Oakvale]

My mother changed her name, but that was in 1957. My wife kept hers when we married in 1988. My children have my wife's middle name and my last name. My wife's middle name was her mother's family name so it created a parallel matrilineal series to the patrilineal last name.

It 'created' nothing of the sort. Call yourself a Republican?

I'm gay but, God, I hope someone primaries and defeats you in IL-Nowhere. Your wife should take your name when she married you; that she hasn't and you didn't insist on it shows what a cretin RINO you are. Societal norms are there for a reason.

Good post, buddy.

[kcguy]

It's in fact in 1981, not 1999.
It was during a reform of family law, which gave married women the right to own property(!), among other things. Before the reform, you were taking automatically the name of your husband unless you filled special forms (let's note than in Canada, provinces take care of vital records, including names). They removed that during the reform because they thought it was violating gender equality and violating the principe than names shouldn't change without a good reason, to simplify things for everyone. It wasn't retroactive, through. Some women still decided to do so after that, but it wasn't recognized by any administration and you couldn't get any service under that name. It's pretty much dead, now.

Wait, Maxque, are you saying married women couldn't own property in Quebec until 1981??

It's possible.  I heard a story that isn't as extreme, but it's still kind of jaw-dropping that it happened in my lifetime.

Pat Schroeder told a story on C-SPAN a couple years ago about the period immediately after her election to Congress in 1972.  She traveled to DC to look for a house, but the real estate agent told her he couldn't show houses to a married woman without her husband's permission.

Apparently, the fact she was a Congresswoman-elect wasn't enough to convince him that she could be trusted with responsibility.

[kcguy]

I know multiple couples who decided to mash their two last names into one new Frankenname, which is an option I have a quite favorable opinion of, actually.

Really? That sounds absolutely dreadful to me.

There's a seen in Llewlyn Davis where the protagonist encounters a couple named Greenfung instead of Green-Fung.

My mother's maiden name is Germanicized Czech, and it's 11 letters long.  My father's last name is English and is largely lacking in consonants.  Combining the two would create a monstrosity.

Actually, the only Frankenname I've ever heard is "Villaraigosa", which isn't terrible.

[kcguy]

In answer to the original question, my mom changed her name when she married.  The vast majority of the married women in my social circle have.

I've actually been surprised at my co-workers.  Nearly every woman has replaced her last name with her husband's.  The only exception is a Central American immigrant, who sometimes uses her maiden name and sometimes hyphenates.

[MaxQue]

They are not married and, thankfully, that's not possible anymore to change names after marriage in Quebec since 1999.

How did they stop that?

It's in fact in 1981, not 1999.
It was during a reform of family law, which gave married women the right to own property(!), among other things. Before the reform, you were taking automatically the name of your husband unless you filled special forms (let's note than in Canada, provinces take care of vital records, including names). They removed that during the reform because they thought it was violating gender equality and violating the principe than names shouldn't change without a good reason, to simplify things for everyone. It wasn't retroactive, through. Some women still decided to do so after that, but it wasn't recognized by any administration and you couldn't get any service under that name. It's pretty much dead, now.

Did the Anglos put up a fuss? Around here not changing your name is seen as a "French thing" to do.

Wait, Maxque, are you saying married women couldn't own property in Quebec until 1981??

Women were waving most of their rights on marriage, then. Well, they could own property, but they needed the authorization of their husband. Under law, a married woman had the same legal relationship to her husband than kids. They had some rights since 1964, but they were still considered inferior to their husband and couldn't do much without the authorization of the husband. It was because the husband was the one with the rights to manage family assets. The wife only had an "advising" role (since 1964).

Ironically, it crippled marriage popularity in the 70's and Quebec never went over it. It's one of the place in the world with the most non-married couples, reaching 50% in some regions of Quebec.

Note than Quebec was pretty much a theocracy until 1960.

[free my dawg]

My mother changed her name, but that was in 1957. My wife kept hers when we married in 1988. My children have my wife's middle name and my last name. My wife's middle name was her mother's family name so it created a parallel matrilineal series to the patrilineal last name.

It 'created' nothing of the sort. Call yourself a Republican?

I'm gay but, God, I hope someone primaries and defeats you in IL-Nowhere. Your wife should take your name when she married you; that she hasn't and you didn't insist on it shows what a cretin RINO you are. Societal norms are there for a reason.

[traininthedistance]

I know multiple couples who decided to mash their two last names into one new Frankenname, which is an option I have a quite favorable opinion of, actually.

Really? That sounds absolutely dreadful to me.

These fine folks have a Frankenname, and it's a perfectly fine one.

Sure, not every combination will "work" aesthetically.  But I like it as an option anyway.

[Stranger in a strange land]

My Mom kept her name, but I think it's mainly a generational thing assoicated with boomers: my wife took my name, and most of the married women we know in our age group (25-35) took their husbands' names unless they come from cultures where this isn't the custom.

[nclib]

Changed (normal).

Change (normal)

I'm disappointed to see Democrats consider this normal. Since (heterosexual) marriage is an equal relationship between a man and a woman, there should be no more reason for a woman to change her name than for a man to change his. This practice absolutely perpetuates inequality. I know some will claim that it is for family unity, but most same-sex couples either don't change names or they combine/hyphenate them.

As for Quebec, I wouldn't go as far as banning women from taking their husband's name, but it should be opt-in not opt-out, and should be no harder for a man to take his wife's name than visa versa, and ditto for gay couples.

[Beet]

My mom kept her name, as is the normal practice for Chinese women.

[angus]

Option 2, though I am under the impression that this forum has a disproportionate number of people having mothers who kept their name.

I've always been under the impression that this forum has a disproportionate number of people having mothers who moved the position of their original surname to become their middle name.

Those are the only two options in my family.  Like, if your name is Joan Alice Taylor and you marry Steven Walter Smith, you can still be Joan Alice Taylor or you can become Joan Alice Smith.  Those are pretty much your two options in my family.  Some choose to keep their original surname and some choose to change it.  My mother changed her name.  My wife kept her original surname.  My sister changed her surname in one of her marriages but kept it in another marriage.  None of them moved their original surname to the middle-name position.  That just isn't done in my family.

What always struck me about this forum is that there seems to be a large number who make their original surname their middle name after they're married.  Like, if your name is Joan Alice Taylor and you marry Steven Walter Smith, then you become Joan Taylor Smith.  As far as I know, no one in my family has ever done that.  They either stick with their original last name or they co-opt the husband's surname.  Nevertheless, it seems fairly common based not only on this forum but from what I've seen in general society.  I have always found the concept of co-opting the husband's last name and moving your original surname to the middle position very strange.  In fact, I'd never even heard of it till I was a teenager, and my mother explained to me that it was somewhat common in society.  Since I've been posting here, it seems to me that it is the norm on this forum, even though to my knowledge no one in my extended family has ever done that.  They either keep their last name original or they change it.