Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Okay, I'll say it: Spaghetti, laden with quickly digested carbs, and in the quantity you no doubt eat as part of a meal, is a particularly unhealthy choice. Your body (especially your body)will readily convert it into body fat.

Source: Myself, as a morbidly obese youth who ate copious amounts of spaghetti

Yes, we all wanted to say it, but I just didn't have the heart to say it. I am a softy sometimes.

Look, his entire culture is unhealthy, his parents, his friends, his social circle, his church. He isn't going to change. Eating healthy is just elitist to these good people and they won't be bothered with eating green food or things that are not red meat, potatoes, beans, cheese, pasta, rice or anything else.

Indeed, note the response to our issues with his family meals - we were called 'spoiled rich-kids'... says it all really.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Oh my goodness, Mr Moderate.  Did you really have to condemn my food choice for tomorrow night?  At least it's not a large burger and large fries.  I see nothing wrong with spaghetti.

[Joe Biden 2020]

How about you guys be adventurous and have spaghetti made with whole wheat pasta and put some sliced eggplant and mushrooms on top?

SHUT UP no way that'll happen you silly boy!

I wonder what Bushie's family has on their pasta? Marinara sauce? Meat sauce? Alfredo? Primavera? A la vodka? Bolognese? Or are they the dreaded types that like chili over pasta?

ever hear of Ragu?

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Oh my goodness, Mr Moderate.  Did you really have to condemn my food choice for tomorrow night?  At least it's not a large burger and large fries.  I see nothing wrong with spaghetti.

As long as the meat is lean and the sauce is based on actual real tomatoes....

[Joe Biden 2020]

Oh my goodness, Mr Moderate.  Did you really have to condemn my food choice for tomorrow night?  At least it's not a large burger and large fries.  I see nothing wrong with spaghetti.

As long as the meat is lean and the sauce is based on actual real tomatoes....

It's usually 97% lean meat and it is traditional Ragu pasta sauce like you would find in the grocery store.

[Eraserhead]

The diet thing is a total lost cause. I'm just hoping he can keep his job at this point.

[memphis]

Oh my goodness, Mr Moderate.  Did you really have to condemn my food choice for tomorrow night?  At least it's not a large burger and large fries.  I see nothing wrong with spaghetti.

As long as the meat is lean and the sauce is based on actual real tomatoes....

It's usually 97% lean meat and it is traditional Ragu pasta sauce like you would find in the grocery store.

97% lean? I've never even heard of that and I do quite a bit of cooking. Even the sirloin stuff is usually about 90% lean. Also, I don't care much for the "traditional" sauce. I like my sauce chunky!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

93% learn is as high as I've ever seen. I assume he means Ragu from a jar?

[patrick1]

Oh my goodness, Mr Moderate.  Did you really have to condemn my food choice for tomorrow night?  At least it's not a large burger and large fries.  I see nothing wrong with spaghetti.

Pasta is loaded up in carbohydrates, while you need some for energy, carbs rightly get a bad rap because people eat too much and they quickly turn to fat if you dont burn any excess. Pasta is pretty dense in calories too.  So it is not that bad but watch your portion size.  Dont eat a heaping bowl and a side of bread and other carbs if you  are looking to lose weight.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie, would you be willing to TRY whole wheat pasta?  It's one of those tastes better and is better for you instances.

[patrick1]

Oh my goodness, Mr Moderate.  Did you really have to condemn my food choice for tomorrow night?  At least it's not a large burger and large fries.  I see nothing wrong with spaghetti.

As long as the meat is lean and the sauce is based on actual real tomatoes....

It's usually 97% lean meat and it is traditional Ragu pasta sauce like you would find in the grocery store.

97% lean? I've never even heard of that and I do quite a bit of cooking. Even the sirloin stuff is usually about 90% lean. Also, I don't care much for the "traditional" sauce. I like my sauce chunky!

Yeah, that must be expensive. 90% is always a good deal more expensive than the regular 80%. I usually just go steak instead.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

93% learn is as high as I've ever seen. I assume he means Ragu from a jar?

Yes, almost certainly. He is using Ragu, which means he is dumping a ton of high fructose corn syrup on top of his easily digestible carbs. Because, you know, AMERICA.

I doubt you'd like it, Bushie, but I use the sugar-free version of Ragu they sell. It's actually a much more robust sauce when it's not laden with a ton of added sugar.

Oh my goodness, Mr Moderate.  Did you really have to condemn my food choice for tomorrow night?  At least it's not a large burger and large fries.  I see nothing wrong with spaghetti.

I dunno what you want, dude. You're trying to eat healthy and you made a choice that isn't. Would you rather eat terrible things unaware that they're terrible for you and counter to your goals? It's not a large burger, no -- a large burger would probably be healthier if made correctly.

I know you see nothing wrong with spaghetti. It's why you're nearly 300 pounds.

[Franzl]

It all depends. No, spaghetti the way Bushie will eat it is pretty unhealthy and counterproductive to weight loss, at least if the portion is large enough to fill him up, but at the same time, at least it's a small baby step to replace fast food with something.

Of course, baby steps aren't what's needed in this case...

[J-Mann]

King was on the right track last season, encouraging Jeff to take on a small, manageable challenge. Granted, that went wrong somewhere, but the intent was great and initially well-received. I think by bombarding Jeff with a mountain of criticism, he'll just close himself off to any suggestion. He's not immaleable ... it's just tough to process too much suggestion or criticism at once.

Sorry I haven't been able to find time to work up a simple shopping list and menu for you yet, Jeff. But you can do some of that on your own ... don't wait or stall anymore. Get some turkey bacon, egg whites and some fresh fruits and vegetables (steam the veggies in a skillet with some water, and eat the fruits as snacks). Get some wheat bread and make BLTs for lunch.

The longer you stall, the more you rationalize not changing ANYTHING. You don't have to make wholesale change, but come on, man ... something. Rationalize = rational lies.

I've always maintained that your abuse of your body and snail's pace at making even the simplest changes is about as irreligious as you can get.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

My lord ... making fresh sauce with tomatoes, tomato paste, red wine and little stock is NOT hard.

[King]

Meh, I go for the Prego every now and then. They have a really good red wine sauce, actually. That's not the issue.

The real problem here is he's eating carbs and no veggies. He's never going to lose weight doing that and he just can't accept it. Burgers and fries, spaghetti, mac and cheese, ramen, Dinty Moore stew, ham and cheese sandwiches, pizza, none of it is weight loss food. None are particularly better than the other. They're all equally bad as long as no vegetables are being eaten. That's the bottom line.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Meh, I go for the Prego every now and then. They have a really good red wine sauce, actually. That's not the issue.

The real problem here is he's eating carbs and no veggies. He's never going to lose weight doing that and he just can't accept it. Burgers and fries, spaghetti, mac and cheese, ramen, Dinty Moore stew, ham and cheese sandwiches, pizza, none of it is weight loss food. None are particularly better than the other. They're all equally bad as long as no vegetables are being eaten. That's the bottom line.

When I cook spaghetti I always up the veggie content, with carrot, broccoli and sometimes capsicum.

[politicus]

Ok, so who is changing their username to "Spinach and 3 or 4  glasses of tea?"

Let me see if I can find a stock image of a bowl of spinach and glasses of tea besides it.

How about spinach tea?

[memphis]

My lord ... making fresh sauce with tomatoes, tomato paste, red wine and little stock is NOT hard.

Sorry if this is a dumb question, but how does one do it?

[King]

Put some chopped garlic and onions in a pan with olive oil, let those start to get nice, add your tomatoes whole, they'll get soft and eventually you'll be able to smash them with your wooden spoon, add a little red wine, add a little chicken or vegetable stock (which salts it), let that reduce a bit, add your tomato paste to thicken. If you want to add veggies/herbs like spinach or basil or peas or carrots, do it the tomatoes stage.

If you're really lazy, you can just skip the chopped garlic/onions and use garlic powder and onion powder. I do that too much.

In short, put everything in a pan with heat and it will eventually turn into a sauce.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

The diet thing is a total lost cause. I'm just hoping he can keep his job at this point.

Me too.  This "logistics" bs isn't making much sense.  Something smells wrong.

Oh my goodness, Mr Moderate.  Did you really have to condemn my food choice for tomorrow night?  At least it's not a large burger and large fries.  I see nothing wrong with spaghetti.

Bushie, did you read Moderate's quote.  He was speaking from his days as a fellow fat man......he's been where you are.  Now he's half of who he was, but only due to hard work.  He has every right to be critical given his success.

[Torie]

The easiest way to lose weight, and never be hungry, is to just cut out pasta, bread, rice and potatoes from your diet entirely. The pounds will just fall off your body the way the meat falls off from the bone with slow cooked baby back pork ribs. You don't even need to count the calories. Now if only it were that easy when it comes to buffing up, and maintaining your sex drive and performance as you hit senior citizen status, life would be just perfect!

[King]

The easiest way to lose weight, and never be hungry, is to just cut out pasta, bread, rice and potatoes from your diet entirely.

That's very rude of you.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Seeing as so many of you are personally invested in the Update, why not organize an Atlas road trip to Oklahoma in order to cook for Bushie for a week.

I was totally down for the Jeffison wedding tailgate, but that never came to pass.  Plus, I would totally feel wrong if I was in OK and I didn't hit up Braum's with Bushie.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Hey, guys, I'm taking a late lunch today.  I'm less than 2 hours from a 3 day weekend.  All the logistical problems should be resolved by Monday or Tuesday so we should be fully operational again early next week.  I've gotten a lot of stuff done in the last 4 days and I am growing confidence by the day.  I am going to ask mom. Tonight if I can fix dinner to get a little practice in.  I know how to fix spaghetti, so it will be simple and quick.