Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[Tetro Kornbluth]

Bushie, serious question

Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist?

I repeat my question.

Are you a chronically bored or an ironist?

Both.

Seriously, Bushie you need to see a psychiatrist. Why? As already observed

It was July 15, 2007 at the old Shea Stadium.  The game was against the Cincinnati Reds.  I was working at a computer camp at Rosemont College near Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania.

Bushie, would you say you have a photographic memory?  Or, at least, do you have a very good memory for dates?

I am excellent with dates.  I can remember exact dates from my childhood and even before I was born.  I can even name what day of the week the event happened.  I have a virtual calendar in my head so without looking at a real calendar, I know what day a particular date fell on or will fall on.

[Panda Express]

I think Bushie should deliver pizzas. I've done it. It's actually pretty fun, and it's the easiest job ever. It used to require at least a basic sense of direction, but with a phone GPS, it would require no talent whatsoever. Here's your pizza. Give me your money. Have a nice day. Bushie could do that. And with tips, it pays about $12/hour, which is more than he was making as a CADD drafter.

What's going to happen when the people he delivers the pizza to open up the box?

[Bacon King]

Hey Jeff, have you ever considered a career at Walmart? I genuinely think it'd be a great opportunity for you. You may recall that until recently I was a Customer Service Manager there, and I can honestly say without hyperbole that you would have been far more capable and much easier to work with than at least two-thirds of my former colleagues among that management team.

Assistant Manager is the lowest salaried position with pay starting at ~$40,000 per year (i.e., after taxes, you would get around $1200 every two weeks). You also get full benefits and an annual bonus tied to store performance that is generally in the ballpark of $5,000 to $15,000. There are eight assistant managers per store, and it takes time to fill vacancies, so at any given time it's actually fairly likely for a store to have an opening in the position. You can get hired in directly as Assistant, although some store managers prefer to promote them internally (if you're hired in any hourly position, you can apply for an Assistant Manager spot after IIRC 12 months).

It's a job that would compensate you well and plays towards your strengths (and wouldn't really have as much of a way for your weaknesses to interfere). It'd be very easy for you to ensure job security and become a favorite candidate for promotion; just follow these steps:

1. Take to heart the stuff they teach you about Sam Walton's vision and philosophy in your orientation, because quoting from them is an insta-win trump card when dealing with your superiors
2. If you're doing your job right you'll be doing very little actual work- when you are told to do something by your own boss, you're supposed to "delegate" and tell your minimum wage underlings that they have to do it.
3. You have no reason to be scared of difficult customers because you are literally told to give them everything they want so they go away and stop bothering you
4. Walmart Corporate grades stores and allocates bonuses using specific performance metrics, and the store manager has to focus on those numbers above all else. If you ignore all other concerns, problems, and complaints so that you can look at the store's statistics page and find the red numbers, then do something to make the red number become green numbers, and brag about how you fixed what was obviously a serious/pressing issue, you will be looked upon as a walmart wizard and management genius.

Also, you will probably like this part, before you officially become an Assistant Manager you are grouped with other new Assistant Managers and you all stay at a hotel for four weeks so you can learn how to manager by taking an easy class in the conference room. For this 28 day period all of your meals are payed for in full by Walmart and you can eat literally anywhere you want. I've heard stories from four different manager class things, and in every single one a competition developed to see who can spend the most of Walmart's money on their extravagant restaurant purchases

But for real, I think this is the kind of job you'd like to have, I think you'd be successful doing it, and the fact that you have a college degree means you'd automatically be on the top of the pile of job applicants. Also free food!

Let me know what you think; if this is something you'd be interested in I'm totally willing to help you on this 

[memphis]

Wal-Mart also likes to throw money around?

[Sopranos Republican]

Who is more thickheaded: Bushie, or the people that have written literally hundreds of posts (some of which are very verbose) giving him advice they already know he'll never take?

Both are certainly less thickheaded and useless than the hillbots on the 2016 board.

[WalterMitty]

bushie is it safe to say youve been fired from a majority of jobs youve had?

[Joe Biden 2020]

I see you guys have been busy trashing my abilities overnight.  Am I listening?  Absolutely not!  I don't listen to trash.  You guys expect me to continue the update even when I get trashed and insulted.  Again, I can do drafting.  My skills are not poor.  I'm taking another break.

[Franzl]

I see you guys have been busy trashing my abilities overnight.  Am I listening?  Absolutely not!  I don't listen to trash.  You guys expect me to continue the update even when I get trashed and insulted.  Again, I can do drafting.  My skills are not poor.  I'm taking another break.

There are many that have made constructive points and gone out of their way to write something helpful for you. But considering even they have said inconvenient things, I guess you'll just ignore them?

[King]

Yeah Bacon King really trashed him with that sensible advice about how to rise fast and make good money at WalMart.

[Simfan34]

I see you guys have been busy trashing my abilities overnight.  Am I listening?  Absolutely not!  I don't listen to trash.  You guys expect me to continue the update even when I get trashed and insulted.  Again, I can do drafting.  My skills are not poor.  I'm taking another break.

This post is offensive.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Sigh. We are trying to help you, not bash you. But if you feel your career is heading in the right direction, by all means, don't chsnge anything.

[Paul Kemp]

I see you guys have been busy trashing my abilities overnight.  Am I listening?  Absolutely not!  I don't listen to trash.  You guys expect me to continue the update even when I get trashed and insulted.  Again, I can do drafting.  My skills are not poor.  I'm taking another break.

God, you're an idiot.

[Joe Biden 2020]

People that think I can't do drafting and ignore me when I disagree are bothersome.  People who imply I am a horrible employee and this firing should destroy my confidence and ignore my boss's words that I am improving.  Those people are discouraging.  Those who think they know more about my abilities than I do.  Those who think they know more than every single one of my friends and family.  Those who think my faith in Jesus Christ slows me down.  All those attitudes are prideful and blatantly false.

[Joe Biden 2020]

The BK post was the best of all of them, but how do I start at the management position?  I refuse to make minimum wage on my way to success that may or may not happen.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Bushie, we've bern right about nearly everything in this saga while you continue to misjudge situations. You are not a good drafter. If you were, you wouldn't be getting fired from a small firm after 2 months on the job. If you were doing well and getting your work done properly, your clock watching would be a non issue. Companies don't hire new employees and fire old ones for no reason because its more expensive. And while maybe you were improving, you weren't up to the standards your boss wanted because he still took the time and money to go out and find someone else rather then continue to work with you.

You can continue to tell us we are wrong, but we aren't. Reality is on our side. We want to help you but you don't want to help yourself.

[King]

The only one trashing your CAD abilities is your soon to be ex-employer, a man with over 50 years drafting experience.  We're just pointing out that he's trashing you, since you seem oblivious to it.

You're a great drafter  who doesn't pay attention to detail and I'm a great playwrite with no ear for dialogue.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Seriously, guys, I know where my career is headed.  It is headed in a good direction.  I have a few corrections I need to make, but I'm on my way to something good.  The future is brighter than it's ever been.

[Tetro Kornbluth]

Bushie,

Please listen to me when I say see a psychiatrist.

[Franzl]

The BK post was the best of all of them, but how do I start at the management position?  I refuse to make minimum wage on my way to success that may or may not happen.

You're about to be making ZERO. 7.25 > 0.

At any rate, the thing is that you can't have been very competent at CAD or you wouldn't be getting fired. What this should be is a wake up call that you need to seriously work on improving, if this is the field you still wish to pursue. That doesn't mean you're not capable. It means you're too lazy. You kept going on about why you didn't need a certificate because the knowledge you acquired was so much more important. Where is that knowledge now?

You need to get to work studying so that your next employer doesn't have to fire you for "not improving fast enough".

This is not an attack but a (as many others before me have discovered...likely futile) attempt to get through to you that the bare minimum isn't enough.

[King]

That's fine Bushie.  Work at becoming a drafter. But you are NOT a good drafter. A great skilled worker can do what he wants short screwing the boss's wife and not get fired.  Someone whose talent isn't valued gets canned on trumped up charges like clock watching.

It's ok to not be good at something as long as you put the work in off the clock to improve.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I readily admit there are things I need to work on.  They're not hard concepts, but they are very important.  I'm not going to be so dumb as to say I'm a perfect drafter, but I'm a decent drafter with things to work on.  I'm still going to apply for the jobs once I get home tonight and then visit said places tomorrow.

[ilikeverin]

Bushie,

Please listen to me, when I say see a psychiatrist.

I tried early on in the history of the Update, I believe, but he doesn't seem to think he needs one and may be worried about the costs.

[memphis]

Whatever happened to the idea of tying to get Update published? It is a compelling narrative. I believe Bacon King even offered to do some editing for a slice of the action. In all honesty, Update is the only skill Bushie has,  but it is a profound one. Why let it go to waste? And why deprive the world of its pleasures?

[J-Mann]

I readily admit there are things I need to work on.  They're not hard concepts, but they are very important.  I'm not going to be so dumb as to say I'm a perfect drafter, but I'm a decent drafter with things to work on.  I'm still going to apply for the jobs once I get home tonight and then visit said places tomorrow.

Are you also smart enough to own up to how utterly lazy you've been when it comes to practicing your skills and actually working on the areas of improvement offered by your boss? Are you honest enough to say to yourself, "Damn, I watched a lot of utterly meaningless television, took ridiculously-long naps and put sh[inks]t in my body, then spent time boasting about said activities online when I could have and should have been spending some of that time reading about and practicing my CADD skills."

This won't be your "career" if your only commitment to improve happens between 8:00 am and 5:00 pm during two-month stints from job to job.

[Joe Biden 2020]

J-Mann,

I've done all of that and a bag of chips.  I readily admit I've been lazy outside the office and that's partly the reason I'm likely being let go.  I know things have got to change in many areas if I want a successful career in any field, not just CAD.  These are things I can change quite easily, but I've got to start and I will start as soon as I get home in a few hours.  I should be home by 1600 and I'll start applying for those jobs and maybe work on my CAD for an hour or so after the game tonight.