Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Thank goodness. I, for one, was not looking forward to him locking Update every time he got questions he didn't like.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Look, I can't attack Bushie for eating his grandma's dinner. I eat whatever my granddad makes me most of the time when I visit, because he cooks it and I'm not going to sit there all smug like and tell him his cooking isn't healthy.

I highly doubt grandma Bushie knows about healthy eating though. If she's anything like my grandparents, she grew up in the old school where southern cooking with lots of butter, salt and pork fat was the norm. My granddad still eats like that all the time, but he's 92 and not overweight, so he can do whatever he wants now. I'm not knocking Bushie for doing what he did.

However, he isn't on a diet now, so I'm not sure why he's bothering acting like it. He's still not changing his eating habits, still refuses to learn how to cook, and refuses to exercise. Eating less of the same crap isn't going to help his body. Cooking is fun, hell, I love cooking, it's one of my favorite hobbies.

Food can be a lot of fun if you educate yourself, but Bushie fears any sort of change that might make him better, and that's okay too. Some people are taught that change is a bad thing. I'm sure if he started cooking, his social circle would think he was a gay because they've been taught only women cook (unless you grill, that's for the men).

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I love how Bushie picks the worst things he could possibly eat each and every time! I love it.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

He has to spend tons of money on food if he never ever cooked a thing for himself. It's amazing how helpless he is at his age. Cooking isn't that hard either.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It's one thing not to cook. He can't assemble meals. I know people who don't cook but still have the sense to buy frozen Stouffers entree, a bag of frozen peas, and Uncle Ben's instant rice and you know... have a full dinner on a plate.

Bushie, from what he's told us, eats stew out of a can cold because the can isn't microwaveable.

He eats stew out of a can without heating it?? I know when he ate "vegetables" in Utah, he ate them straight from a can and complained about how it tasted. I had no idea he didn't even use a microwave if it didn't come in a microwavable container.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Ramen isn't even particularly cheap.

Neither are the megachains he goes to all the time. I'm not sure why people eat at those places, because they tend to be just as expensive as non-chains and their food is far worse. See: Red Lobster,  Applebees, south of the border, etc...

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I just made greek style canned green beans with some tomatoes and onions for dinner. They were great! If only Bushie knew the boys of cooking and being a real man.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I wanted to cook and was allowed to cook family meals from the time I was 10...

I just don't understand how anyone at his age is sooo helpless and doesn't actually try to do anything about it?

Culture. Like I said, I bet no man cooks in his social circle because that's the woman's job. Men only grill. Notice how Papa Bushie is allowed to grill but no man is allowed in the kitchen? If Bushie asked him mom or grandma to teach him how to cook, they'd probably laugh at him.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You know, I'm not going to attack you, dear Bushie, because I know what kind of strings are tied to you. You live in a world where you are taught certain things and it becomes part of you, and changing your life is difficult, especially when you're still doing home every weekend to stay with your mom and dad. I don't expect you to change, and I'm not harping on you to change. Keep eating those burgers, that spaghetti, and enjoy your life, because one day, we will all be dead!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Okay, I'll say it: Spaghetti, laden with quickly digested carbs, and in the quantity you no doubt eat as part of a meal, is a particularly unhealthy choice. Your body (especially your body)will readily convert it into body fat.

Source: Myself, as a morbidly obese youth who ate copious amounts of spaghetti

Yes, we all wanted to say it, but I just didn't have the heart to say it. I am a softy sometimes.

Look, his entire culture is unhealthy, his parents, his friends, his social circle, his church. He isn't going to change. Eating healthy is just elitist to these good people and they won't be bothered with eating green food or things that are not red meat, potatoes, beans, cheese, pasta, rice or anything else.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

How about you guys be adventurous and have spaghetti made with whole wheat pasta and put some sliced eggplant and mushrooms on top?

SHUT UP no way that'll happen you silly boy!

I wonder what Bushie's family has on their pasta? Marinara sauce? Meat sauce? Alfredo? Primavera? A la vodka? Bolognese? Or are they the dreaded types that like chili over pasta?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

93% learn is as high as I've ever seen. I assume he means Ragu from a jar?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

What did you have for lunch?!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Pop tarts, I love it!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Bushie's life is just surreal. I have no idea how he got to be so helpless. Basic things everyone does are just not part of his life.

I wonder how his spaghetti cooking went tonight? Was he able to make it without assistance?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Did you get that pretzel crust hot and ready pizza they have??

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Too bad, I was hoping you'd be able to cook pasta, but oh well. Maybe next time or later this weekend!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

When he asked her to cook, she looked at him horrified and sent Papa Bushie out for pizza!

I've never had Little Caesars, but I need to try it soon. I love a good hot pretzel.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Bacon, eggs and pancakes is a breakfast at IHOP actually. I ordered it when I went there completely hammered a few weekends ago. It's called the pancake combo. It also comes with hash browns!

I like the banana nut wheat pancakes with my meal, although I tend to go for sausage over bacon.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Does the IHOP put a strawberry on the plate, Duke?

No

But they do have strawberry syrup for God knows what reason. I couldn't imagine using anything but normal syrup, but I'm not a big pancake eater usually.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

A meal fit for a king! Where you at Dennys?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Wow, Jeffison split happened back in July? It feels like just yesterday...

Yep, it split right after a Dennys brunch! I wonder if Bushie picked up the check before she dumped him?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Half a cup of syrup for two pancakes?!?! Holy cow!

You betcha! Bushie drenched those things in syrup! I'm sure he hates the taste of pancakes without it!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Jimmy's! Bushie, how did you get 3 eggs? Did you order an extra one?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

No use wasting time with myfitnesspal if  you aren't going to eat any fruits or vegetables, friend. It really doesn't matter.

Might as well just eat what you want in portions you want if you're going to ignore fruits and vegetables.

Yes, that's what I've been saying. Crack that 300 pound goal!

He's not going to ever eat healthy because he doesn't know how and doesn't care to learn, so I hope he just eats what he wants and enjoys himself. It's all he knows. His family doesn't eat much better than he does anyway - he didn't get to be in such bad shape without learning it from somewhere.

He just needs a new romantic lady in his life now that he has a CAD JOB