Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[Panda Express]

I think Bushie should deliver pizzas. I've done it. It's actually pretty fun, and it's the easiest job ever. It used to require at least a basic sense of direction, but with a phone GPS, it would require no talent whatsoever. Here's your pizza. Give me your money. Have a nice day. Bushie could do that. And with tips, it pays about $12/hour, which is more than he was making as a CADD drafter.

What's going to happen when the people he delivers the pizza to open up the box?

[Panda Express]

BushOklahoma, have you thought about being a D.J.? All you have to do is click a button on a computer, drape some headphones around your neck and repeatedly bob your head up and down. You don't have to get up and you'll get tons of girls.

[Panda Express]

Uhh, are we sure a 300 pound man with Tourettes that has never worked at Wal Mart before can just waltz right in and get a salaried assistant manager position?

[Panda Express]

The world is ending in 7-10 years? Well, in that case I agree with you that trying to eat healthy is a waste of time. Good call.