Best Cities for Millennials

[dead0man]

link
1. NEW YORK CITY
Median Income: 3.5 credit hours
Idealistic Hopes And Dreams Crushed Per Day: 1.4 million
Cost Of Living Like Friends Back Home: $2.5 million a year
Number Of Old Bags In Rent-Controlled Apartments Who Need To Just Die Already: 11,078
Rockettes Per Capita: 0.000019
Number Of Residents Under 30 Living In Dream Brownstone Apartment In Greenwich Village After Making It In The Big City: 0

3. SAN FRANCISCO
Median Rent: Hooboy
Wi-Fi Strength: -50 dBm
Number Of Apps It Takes To Get From One Part Of City To Another: 4
Weather: Mild climate softens blow of living on the streets
Earthquakes: Constant in your mother’s mind as soon as you move here
Environmental Initiatives: City recycles 90 percent of failed startups
Best Neighborhood For Young People Just Starting Out: 28 miles outside city limits

5. YOUR HOMETOWN
Average Number Of Unbearable Interactions When You Leave The House: 2.54 per outing
The Mall: Depressing, inexplicably comforting
Number Of Promotions Former Classmate Has Earned At Local Supermarket Since Being Bagboy Back In High School: 2
Pace At Which 10 Goddamn Years Of Your Life Pass: Just like that
Unshakable Sensation That You Both Belong Here And Are A Stranger Here: Inescapable and oppressive
Cost Of Living: Admission of defeat

[bedstuy]

New York City really isn't that expensive. 

[traininthedistance]

I've said it before, I'll say it again: Philly, Pittsburgh, Baltimore.  Well, maybe Baltimore in 5-10 years.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Well, maybe Baltimore in 5-10 years.

Haven't people been saying that for about three decades now?

[Grumpier Than Thou]

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[dead0man]

I'd have included that and Austin but I didn't want to get my peepee spanked again for copyright violations.

[traininthedistance]

Well, maybe Baltimore in 5-10 years.

Haven't people been saying that for about three decades now?

People doubted Pittsburgh for a long time, too. Baltimore has further to climb, but climb it is beginning to do... and given how close it is to the overheated, under-zoned DC area, some sort of climb is a 100 percent inevitability at this point.

[ilikeverin]

I think Baltimore's pretty great now.  I often find myself desperately wishing the University of Maryland could somehow be relocated to Baltimore so that I could live in an actual city.

[Nutmeg]

I think Baltimore's pretty great now.  I often find myself desperately wishing the University of Maryland could somehow be relocated to Baltimore so that I could live in an actual city.

The nation's capital is but a short Metro ride away...

[angus]

I didn't want to get my get my peepee spanked again

Well then you're doing it all wrong.

[DC Al Fine]

Never understood the attraction to some popular cities. We have the same thing with Toronto up here. People leave my city to move another one with significantly higher unemployment rates and rents up the wazoo. I guess I just don't understand the appeal of big cities.

[bedstuy]

Never understood the attraction to some popular cities. We have the same thing with Toronto up here. People leave my city to move another one with significantly higher unemployment rates and rents up the wazoo. I guess I just don't understand the appeal of big cities.

That's where they want to live dude.  It's cheaper to live in Nebraska or Winnipeg or whatever sure.  But, money isn't the only object.  The most valuable thing you have is your time and it's silly not to try to live where you want to live.  Obviously, people get overly idealistic about living in NYC or LA or London or San Francisco.  But, it's silly just to compare the cost of living because living in a small town is nothing like living in a huge world class city, positive or negative.

[memphis]

Of course Canadians want to live in Toronto. It's the only big city option. At least here in the states, we have many big cities to choose from.

[Sol]

Of course Canadians want to live in Toronto. It's the only big city option. At least here in the states, we have many big cities to choose from.

Montréal and Vancouver are both pretty big and trendy.

[ilikeverin]

I think Baltimore's pretty great now.  I often find myself desperately wishing the University of Maryland could somehow be relocated to Baltimore so that I could live in an actual city.

The nation's capital is but a short Metro ride away...

Why, yes, a fake city that I do not like is a Metro ride away.  I'll take Baltimore, thanks.

[Nutmeg]

I think Baltimore's pretty great now.  I often find myself desperately wishing the University of Maryland could somehow be relocated to Baltimore so that I could live in an actual city.

The nation's capital is but a short Metro ride away...

Why, yes, a fake city that I do not like is a Metro ride away.  I'll take Baltimore, thanks.

Wow! Fake city? D.C. has more humans living in it than Baltimore does. And there's a whole heck of a lot more to this city than the federal government...

[Clarko95 📚💰📈]

Of course Canadians want to live in Toronto. It's the only big city option. At least here in the states, we have many big cities to choose from.

Montréal and Vancouver are both pretty big and trendy.

Montreal is absolutely amazing. Toronto is just another big North American city.

[ilikeverin]

I think Baltimore's pretty great now.  I often find myself desperately wishing the University of Maryland could somehow be relocated to Baltimore so that I could live in an actual city.

The nation's capital is but a short Metro ride away...

Why, yes, a fake city that I do not like is a Metro ride away.  I'll take Baltimore, thanks.

Wow! Fake city? D.C. has more humans living in it than Baltimore does. And there's a whole heck of a lot more to this city than the federal government...

Sure, about 20,000 more people, and the DC metropolitan area certainly has more people.  I'm not sure why you're assuming that I'm completely ignorant of what there is to do in DC; I've lived here for two years.  I just like that there's actually tall buildings in Baltimore, parts of town with lots of fun bars with people who aren't networking while wearing collared shirts, residents who will talk to strangers without requiring a letter of reference from at least two sitting members of Congress, the idea of having people who are actually "locals", and smiling.  I miss seeing people smiling   I've seen all those things in Baltimore

[Linus Van Pelt]

This is very Atlas. "The Onion mocks a ridiculous genre of list? Let's argue over what the real list should be".

[Nutmeg]

I think Baltimore's pretty great now.  I often find myself desperately wishing the University of Maryland could somehow be relocated to Baltimore so that I could live in an actual city.

The nation's capital is but a short Metro ride away...

Why, yes, a fake city that I do not like is a Metro ride away.  I'll take Baltimore, thanks.

Wow! Fake city? D.C. has more humans living in it than Baltimore does. And there's a whole heck of a lot more to this city than the federal government...

Sure, about 20,000 more people, and the DC metropolitan area certainly has more people.  I'm not sure why you're assuming that I'm completely ignorant of what there is to do in DC; I've lived here for two years.  I just like that there's actually tall buildings in Baltimore, parts of town with lots of fun bars with people who aren't networking while wearing collared shirts, residents who will talk to strangers without requiring a letter of reference from at least two sitting members of Congress, the idea of having people who are actually "locals", and smiling.  I miss seeing people smiling   I've seen all those things in Baltimore

Hmm. Interesting. Wasn't necessarily assuming that, but my experience has been so different that your earlier comment surprised me. Where in D.C. did you live? I've lived in Columbia Heights/Park View for about 4 years now, and none of those things describe the people I hang out with. We have some chill neighborhood bars where I routinely run into people I know, and I live with some artists (one of whom is a UMD grad student), a public health worker, and a military guy, and I can't even count the number of art openings, performances, and backyard gatherings I've been to. I've spontaneously participated in performance art involving the communal eating of vegan hotdogs that had been laid out in the shape of a heart, and I officiated an interracial same-sex wedding for dear friends in a park here that the general public crashed (there were about 500 onlookers to what was supposed to have been a 10-person wedding, and the applause at the end was so thunderous the couple couldn't even hear my cue to kiss). In fact, most of the time here I feel like I live in a small town - I can't even go for a run in my neighborhood without getting stopped by people I know wanting to chat. I'm sorry your D.C. experience wasn't as fulfilling. But it's a pretty diverse city. Overpriced lobbyist/Hill hangouts aren't representative of the ways most people here live, I really don't think.

[justfollowingtheelections]

New York City really isn't that expensive. 

hahahahaha