Update for Everyone III - The Whinge Binge

[Indy Texas]

I changed the air filter in my car today. Not only did I save $40 in labor that the shop wanted to charge me, I got some dirt under my fingernails and feel all hardworking and blue-collar and might even start voting Republican again.

[Indy Texas]

Ten page sociology paper due tomorrow at 1 PM EST and I'm on page 3.

Oh, please. It's sociology. Put as many footnotes in as humanly possible and you're good to go.

[Indy Texas]

...there are two Mormon kids in white shirts and ties. They just sat down at the table right next to mine in Starbucks.

I'm going to try to act natural and pray (to real God, not Mormon God) that they don't try to work their scheme on me.

[Indy Texas]

Well @#$%, I think one of them is looking at me.

Why are they even here? I thought Mormons don't drink coffee.

They are drinking water.

One of them has very Romney-esque hair. Less Craig, more Tagg.

[Indy Texas]

If only it wasn't still hot in Houston. Then I'd probably have a scarf with me that I could drape over my head like an emergency burka.

They are both wearing really horrendous ties.

There are more. More Mormons. Four more just walked in.

It's MormCon.

[Indy Texas]

One of them just opened a large bag and started distributing Texas A&M t-shirts to the others. Perhaps they're trying to blend in with their surroundings so we'll let our guard down.

They are putting the Aggie t-shirts on over their other shirts.

One of them is wearing jeans. He must be the rebel of the bunch.

[Indy Texas]

They are posing for a group photo in the shirts.

"Oh my gosh, this is so awesome!" said one.

[Indy Texas]

Percentage of Texans Who are Mormon: 1%

I don't think this bunch is helping things.

One keeps referring to Texas A&M as "ATM."

[Indy Texas]

Applied to the position of "Passport Specialist" at the agency in Philadelphia.  Starts at $50,000 with benefits.  Would be an ideal situation and I could even be in the market to get my own place without doing a roommate search.  Crossing my fingers and praying to science.

What does a Passport Specialist do?

[Indy Texas]

Rick Perry is coming to Warsaw University tomorrow. Guess I'll go and see how terrible he is...

More importantly, why is the Governor of Texas coming to Poland to talk about international relations?

Poland should hire him to shill for major corporations to "Invest in Eastern Poland."

[Indy Texas]

Gonna be in DC next weekend. Suggestions/requests for what I should do? I'm trying to branch out from the first line tourist attractions that I've already been to.

[Indy Texas]

Just got off a plane from DC an hour or so ago. Unfortunately, I'm having some kind of cold/allergies/possible Ebola and am horribly congested; my mucus-clogged Eustachian tubes still haven't adjusted their air pressure so my head feels like it's about to explode.

The flight itself was equally unpleasant. I was seated in a row with an off-duty United flight attendant and a woman who insisted on trying to put two carry-on items in the overhead bin despite only being allowed one. She proceeded to pitch a fit about how as an Economy Plus passenger, she would not consent to be treated like a peasant from regular economy class and asserted her right to as much overhead storage space as she damn well pleased. After being forced to stow one of the bags underneath her seat, she proceeded to take out her iPad and take pictures of the overhead bin, the flight attendant sitting next to her and the flight attendant in the aisle who told her to move the bag. After refusing requests to delete the photos, she later posted them on Facebook, leading a flight attendant to angrily come to our row and very sternly tell her that she risked violating federal law by refusing to delete the pictures after being instructed to do so. The off-duty stewardess asked her why she couldn't have just put the bag under her seat to begin with and the woman started shouting at her that it was none of her business and she had no right to ask her personal questions. As we were deplaning, the woman made a point to hold up everyone behind her by stopping to inform the captain and the cabin crew at the front of the plane that their behavior was completely unacceptable and she would never fly on United again.

[Indy Texas]

Surviving huddled in my dorm on peanut butter and tuna fish. Ran out of tuna fish. I woke up late, so this is my third meal, and I don't feel like running down my student account or my real account to buy food. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be doing something to get ready for tomorrow (study, maybe), but the urge isn't there. "Family Guy" on Hulu, however, is.

...midterms?

[Indy Texas]

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The punchline, of course, is that I'm not in the PhD program but is just a senior taking a full graduate load. My school is a world leader in micro, and the first quarter is notoriously terrifying; scoring above the median feels a lot better. The macro midterm was literally regurgitation of proofs, so I'm not so happy that I scored below the median. Minus something on Halloween, I'll probably lock myself up and review macro and econometrics.

I've occasionally mulled over going back for a PhD but I feel like at my age (26) I'd just be ruining my life and end up being a bitter 30-something drawing price floors for hungover undergrads at some third-tier state school in the hinterlands.

[Indy Texas]

Today I watched football, ate heavily discounted Halloween candy and had a burger and fries from Whataburger for dinner. All in all, it was a very Bushie Sunday.

Should I download and play around with AutoCAD to top it all off?

[Indy Texas]

I was able to keep my wisdom teeth due to some Neanderthal-sized jaws.

[Indy Texas]

I just spent several minutes wandering around my room trying to remember where I took my glasses off.

I'm 26 years old.

FML.

[Indy Texas]

I'm thinking about dropping classes for the spring, packing my bag, and hitchhiking out of here.

I have no classes to drop, but giving my coworkers a big "Adios, bitches" and going to New Zealand keeps sounding more and more compelling.

[Indy Texas]

Whelp, 2015 is off to a great start.

Was going to meet some friends at a bar in town. Spent 30 minutes looking for parking, 30 minutes waiting in line to get in, 30 minutes wedged in a gaggle of really awful people waiting at the bar for a drink, 30 minutes hopelessly texting/calling trying to figure out where the hell everyone else was only to find out that half of them weren't even there anymore, gave up and left. Those ers.

Why must Indy's social life always suck?

[Indy Texas]

I am sooo sick of applying to colleges....

Which ones?

[Indy Texas]

I've been told through a confidante that one of my co-workers feels threatened by me, thinks I'm trying to take her job and wants me gone.

Someone get me Kevin Spacey on the phone, stat. I need a fixer.

[Indy Texas]

I am sooo sick of applying to colleges....

Which ones?

Oh, a bunch. I've already applied to UNC, Alabama, NC State, Tufts, Harvard, ASU. I'm applying to Georgetown, American, GW, and Reed. I've been accepted already at Alabama and ASU. I have no chance at most of these places, but I figure I'll apply anyway.

Eurrgh, and now I can't find the freaking ACT score report that has the info I need to send my scores.

Harvard ought to just pull all the applications with GPAs and SAT scores in the >99th percentile and randomly admit people from that pool via a lottery system. It would be fairer than the current extracurricular arms race where if you haven't founded a non-profit startup for lesbian organic farmers in Malawi by eleventh grade, your best hope is to be waitlisted.

[Indy Texas]

Have any Forumites ever tended bar? I'm mulling over getting a TABC certification. It takes two weeks and I figure it might let me make some extra money and perhaps improve my dismal social life.

[Indy Texas]

I really want to quit my job, but I haven't been able to find a new one. I also ate a s@#$load of Valentine's candy today and said I was going to go to the gym after work but didn't do so.

Perhaps as Jeff slowly throws off his weaknesses and failings, they are being cast on to me, like The Picture of Dorian Gray.

[Indy Texas]

Just remembered I'm supposed to bring something to my office's Saint Patrick's Day Potluck tomorrow.

First of all, who the #$%^ has a Saint Patrick's Day Potluck?

Second, what would one bring to such an event that isn't beer? Daytime drinking at work is best confined to surreptitious cocktails with tiny airline liquor bottles one keeps in one's bottom desk drawer. So, what, then? Potatoes? Corned beef and cabbage? Communion wafers?