Update XVIII: 15 Miles From Lunch

[Adam Griffin]

I suggest you sublet your Tulsa apartment and use the money from that to find temporary accommodations in Oklahoma City. If the job lasts, then you'll be abandoning your apartment anyway. And if it doesn't, you won't have thrown away what is likely $800 a month on an apartment that sits empty with an extravagant cable package that won't be watched.

Also, keeping an apartment there so you can put 212 miles round trip on your car on weekends to have a church picnic and watch football alone is utterly ridiculous. As if you weren't throwing enough money away by sitting on an empty apartment 100 miles away, you decide to rack up miles on your car and gas by making a meaningless trip.

Again, I'm not doing anything wrong.  I'm a different duck.  I'm not a wrong duck.

It's not "wrong," Jeff. It's financially wasteful. And the fact that you've become so irritated and keep reiterating how right you are is revealing. You know you're holding onto an apartment you're not living in, an expensive cable package you're not watching and will try to justify that all by wasting gas and mileage to have a weekly confab with a church group you've known for all of a few months. At this point, you're not facing the reality of that foolishness and are too proud to admit otherwise.

I'm not irritated at the forum being perplexed, but I'm irritated by the viciousness of the attacks.  I thought we could talk about things cordially and calmly, not insulting someone because they don't like what they're doing, but apparently chivalry is dead.  You yourself are not being mean, but there are posters here this evening that are engaging in very vicious and vile attacks and insults over something they really shouldn't even care about.

Yep, me included, because you need to snap out of it. You want things your way all the time - we all get it - but talking nicely just doesn't seem to break through that thick head of yours. Your parents are too nice to you, your family is too nice to you, and probably most others in your life as as well - and that's what reinforces your ability to walk around acting like you are never in the wrong whatsoever. The only people who are honest with you are the people on this forum and some of your in-laws according to Facebook reports (and neither are blood-related, which is why they don't put up with your crap). You needed more yelling at as a child, but since you still act like one today, I suppose it's not too late.

And if we're not supposed to care, then please quit fycking telling us about every aspect of your life, kthx. Seriously: shut up and go do some CADD practice with your time or something (and more than 45 MINUTES MAX).

[J-Mann]

Listen, guys, I know my decisions are rarely popular, but this one is no worse than any of the previous decisions.  You are trying to get me to admit guilt.  I can't find where I should admit guilt, because my conscience is completely clear.  If you were here in Oklahoma with me you would understand where I'm coming from a lot of times.  If you sat in on the family meetings you would understand.  As it is, you are all arm-chair quarterbacking and pointing fingers.  You did know that every time you point a finger you have three pointing back at you, right?  Do not judge me.  I'm not a horrible person.  None of you are any better than me.  You're not any worse, but none of you are any better.

This is patently untrue in almost every way. I fall short in the sanctimony department, but by nearly every other measure, I am better than you. I don't say that egotistically ... I say it in amazement that you don't latch on to those who have had success in life and ask how to replicate the methods by which they achieved their outcomes, particularly when such advice is freely offered.

I have long been here to help you, Jeff, as have many others. It's time to grow up, accept some help from non-enabling sources and mine it for all it's worth. The smartest thing you could do right now is to invite more criticism, ask for more help and actually learn lessons from what others share.

[Joe Biden 2020]

It's my money and if I want to be "financially wasteful", I should be allowed to.  I should not be subjected to hours of insults and character assassinations because of it.  I'm seeing clearly what kind of people some of these posters are, and frankly, it is disturbing.

[Adam Griffin]

It's my money and if I want to be "financially wasteful", I should be allowed to.  I should not be subjected to hours of insults and character assassinations because of it.  I'm seeing clearly what kind of people some of these posters are, and frankly, it is disturbing.

It'll be "your money" when you hold down a stable job for more than a few months, stop mooching off of your relatives on a constant basis and pay them back the thousands (tens of thousands?) of dollars that you owe them, you selfish brat.

[King]

Until you get out of debt to creditors and your family, it is not your money. It's theirs.

[patrick1]

Don't be so hard on the guy pissing away a grand and gas on one day a week. A man's gotta briefly relax.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I suggest you sublet your Tulsa apartment and use the money from that to find temporary accommodations in Oklahoma City. If the job lasts, then you'll be abandoning your apartment anyway. And if it doesn't, you won't have thrown away what is likely $800 a month on an apartment that sits empty with an extravagant cable package that won't be watched.

Also, keeping an apartment there so you can put 212 miles round trip on your car on weekends to have a church picnic and watch football alone is utterly ridiculous. As if you weren't throwing enough money away by sitting on an empty apartment 100 miles away, you decide to rack up miles on your car and gas by making a meaningless trip.

This is what a sane person would do, but we all know Bushie... his behavior is becoming even more erratic and confusing to me now.

Where do his parents come up with the money for all of this? He throws so much of it away, and I know they aren't that wealthy. I doubt they have a lot in savings.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It's my money and if I want to be "financially wasteful", I should be allowed to.  I should not be subjected to hours of insults and character assassinations because of it.  I'm seeing clearly what kind of people some of these posters are, and frankly, it is disturbing.

Except it's not. You're still not self sufficient. You're burdening your grandmother. Will you be 100% self sufficient now and pay all the bills in your apartment in Tulsa? If so, then be my guest, don't sublease it and keep the cable, otherwise, it's not your money.

[J-Mann]

It's my money and if I want to be "financially wasteful", I should be allowed to.  I should not be subjected to hours of insults and character assassinations because of it.  I'm seeing clearly what kind of people some of these posters are, and frankly, it is disturbing.

In the midst of some solid advice aimed at helping you financially, this is quite possibly the single most disgusting comment you've ever made. You walk into flames and pretend to be in a cool breeze. Best wishes, Jeff. I'm done.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Listen, guys, I don't have all the answers.  I never meant to imply that I did.  I've been awful prideful this evening.  I still don't think what I'm doing is that bad, but I apologize for acting prideful and arrogant.  This is more prideful than what I usually am.  If someone can tell me how to sublet an apartment easily and pain-free, where I don't have to find anyone, then please tell me.  I don't have the time or the connections to find anyone to sublet the apartment to.  I'm leaving for OKC on Monday morning and won't be back up here until Friday night, November 7.  I do recognize that subletting it would be the best move financially, but I frankly don't have the time to do it right now.  I start work a week from Monday and I have several things to do in OKC next week, so I won't have time to be up here to sublet it or sign any paperwork or make any kind of arrangements.  That's the main reason I'm pushing back so hard is I just don't have time.  Plus, if I sublet the apartment and something goes awry with the job, I can't just up and evict the person I'm subletting to.  I would probably have to give him or her 30 days notice and that would be valuable job search time in Tulsa.  If someone can calmly explain the process, I would be very appreciative.

[they don't love you like i love you]

We all know there's no reason you have to return to Tulsa. Quit the excuses.

[memphis]

Bushie, being an adult is complicated. Solutions are not simple or guaranteed. Deal with it.

[patrick1]

Jeff, on so many fronts you have ample time. You are either just too lazy or scared to get things done.  Life isnt always sunshine, lollipops, football and brief relaxations. Some things are unpleasant but with discipline you push through them and learn from your experience. Playing around at CADD and putting arbitrary deadlines on developing what should be valuable life skills, so you can dick around and watch football?

You are falling back on your pride as an excuse but this is false pride man. Be better, stop being a jerk off.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Jeff, on so many fronts you have ample time. You are either just too lazy or scared to get things done.  Life isnt always sunshine, lollipops, football and brief relaxations. Some things are unpleasant but with discipline you push through them and learn from your experience. Playing around at CADD and putting arbitrary deadlines on developing what should be valuable life skills, so you can dick around and watch football?

You are falling back on your pride as an excuse but this is false pride man. Be better, stop being a jerk off.

I'm trying, Patrick.  My focus is not this apartment, rather my focus is trying to make the most of this job opportunity.  I welcome any and all pointers on how to make the job itself successful including working on my AutoCAD (is that word better?).  Leaving the debacle of the apartment subletting or not subletting, can we return to pointers on the actual job that is causing this apartment discussion, please?

I'll start by asking you, Patrick, what have you done that makes you successful in your employment?  I'm willing to listen and take note.

[Mr. Morden]

Have you inquired with your landlord as to what it would cost to break the lease and leave the old apartment behind?  I don't think you've given that sufficient consideration.  Yes, you might get some future job offer in Tulsa, but that's rather hypothetical.  Your job right now is not there, so I don't see why you wouldn't consider ditching it.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Have you inquired with your landlord as to what it would cost to break the lease and leave the old apartment behind?  I don't think you've given that sufficient consideration.  Yes, you might get some future job offer in Tulsa, but that's rather hypothetical.  Your job right now is not there, so I don't see why you wouldn't consider ditching it.

That's an idea that has been tossed around, but considering I still have through May 31 on my lease, I imagine it would be a very high price and potentially damning to my credit score.  It's already suffered enough, it doesn't need to be permanently ruined.

[Mr. Morden]

Have you inquired with your landlord as to what it would cost to break the lease and leave the old apartment behind?  I don't think you've given that sufficient consideration.  Yes, you might get some future job offer in Tulsa, but that's rather hypothetical.  Your job right now is not there, so I don't see why you wouldn't consider ditching it.

That's an idea that has been tossed around, but considering I still have through May 31 on my lease, I imagine it would be a very high price and potentially damning to my credit score.  It's already suffered enough, it doesn't need to be permanently ruined.

Do you actually know what the price is, or are you just making an assumption here?

Is this even something that affects your credit score?  You're not declaring bankruptcy or anything.  You're not even necessarily defaulting on anything if you just come to some agreement with your landlord.  Your landlord might even prefer that you pay some penalty and then they get someone else in there with a longer lease.  Why don't you just ask?

[Joe Biden 2020]

Have you inquired with your landlord as to what it would cost to break the lease and leave the old apartment behind?  I don't think you've given that sufficient consideration.  Yes, you might get some future job offer in Tulsa, but that's rather hypothetical.  Your job right now is not there, so I don't see why you wouldn't consider ditching it.

That's an idea that has been tossed around, but considering I still have through May 31 on my lease, I imagine it would be a very high price and potentially damning to my credit score.  It's already suffered enough, it doesn't need to be permanently ruined.

Do you actually know what the price is, or are you just making an assumption here?

Is this even something that affects your credit score?  You're not declaring bankruptcy or anything.  You're not even necessarily defaulting on anything if you just come to some agreement with your landlord.  Your landlord might even prefer that you pay some penalty and then they get someone else in there with a longer lease.  Why don't you just ask?

I guess I could call up here next week and ask.  The offices are closed on weekends.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Thank you so much for that post, Patrick.  Every November, I always do the 30 days of thanksgiving on Facebook where I can publicly write down and express my thanks.  This will be my third year to do that.  Certainly, I should write down what I am thankful for December through October, as well, but I make it a point in November because of the Thanksgiving Holiday.

I am going to also start writing down goals, not only professional, but personal and health.  I'll take those month by month and see how I do.  I am very good at planning.  I can plan with the best of them.  I just need to execute.  I don't need to make minute-by-minute plans, but just a checklist of what I want to accomplish and then set out to accomplish said task or goal.

I really like your post and it makes me feel better about the entire evening.  I am thinking that while I watch football tomorrow, I can at least investigate the AutoCAD software and that website that J-Mann mentioned and start trying to get my head back in the game.

I've got the opportunity to really give my resume a huge boost with this job, and the large, global, and governmental nature of the company.  I'm going to copy what you have written and paste it to a Word document so I don't lose it when this thread ends and we get into a new thread.

Thank you, friend.

[Indy Texas]

Okay everyone here needs to stop and STFU. Am I the only person here who sees what's happening yet again?

Jeff reaches Peak Stupidity, as he periodically does, everyone rushes in to try to get him to abort his latest trainwreck, Jeff reacts with indignation and then when people start to withdraw their sympathy and attention, he becomes repentant and pleads with us to "give him one more chance."

I'm done. I don't know how many paragraphs of advice I've written in this disaster of a forum that he has never once even attempted to follow. Some of you are honestly turning into battered wives who throw up their hands only to fall into the trap again when Jeff does the equivalent of staggering home drunk and crying and exclaiming, "I swear to God baby this time I've changed for good!" I'm not going to be used anymore. Not by someone like him. It's just too pathetic and weird and sad.

Jeff Brown is not a good person. He's a selfish, lazy attention whore and when his parents kick the bucket he'll probably wind up living in state-subsidized squalor punctuated by the occasional visit from a case worker. I believe in a thing called karma, and Jeff has done absolutely nothing at this point to deserve any good things coming to him in the future.

If eighteen "seasons" of this BS aren't enough proof for the rest of you that this is the case, then I pity you. Adios, Jeff, you fat SOB. Indy's out.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Okay everyone here needs to stop and STFU. Am I the only person here who sees what's happening yet again?

Jeff reaches Peak Stupidity, as he periodically does, everyone rushes in to try to get him to abort his latest trainwreck, Jeff reacts with indignation and then when people start to withdraw their sympathy and attention, he becomes repentant and pleads with us to "give him one more chance."

I'm done. I don't know how many paragraphs of advice I've written in this disaster of a forum that he has never once even attempted to follow. Some of you are honestly turning into battered wives who throw up their hands only to fall into the trap again when Jeff does the equivalent of staggering home drunk and crying and exclaiming, "I swear to God baby this time I've changed for good!" I'm not going to be used anymore. Not by someone like him. It's just too pathetic and weird and sad.

Jeff Brown is not a good person. He's a selfish, lazy attention whore and when his parents kick the bucket he'll probably wind up living in state-subsidized squalor punctuated by the occasional visit from a case worker. I believe in a thing called karma, and Jeff has done absolutely nothing at this point to deserve any good things coming to him in the future.

If eighteen "seasons" of this BS aren't enough proof for the rest of you that this is the case, then I pity you. Adios, Jeff, you fat SOB. Indy's out.

If that's how you feel then I wish you well.

[Paul Kemp]

Is Bushie finally full heel?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I think he's finally broken. For the first time, I think I'm finally done offering any advice to him. His lack of regard for his family and grandma is just really sad. Now I see why Allison left this selfish, prideful man.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

you don't make a 90 year old woman cook and clean for you

Like I said for most of the meals, we will cook together and I will clean up after myself, do my own laundry, and do everything that I would normally do by myself except eating somewhat healthier meals with more frequency, eating less fast food.  I will insist on pitching in on the grocery bill.  She has a very nice yard that I can walk around in so I can start following my doctor's recommendations from my September appointment.  Walmart is just 3 miles away so I will have an indoor place to go walking when it gets too cold outside to walk.  Plus, I can start walking with my pastor again.  I'll live there rent free, because she won't accept my money, but I will pitch in on certain things.  I'll make enough money that I can live a little more comfortably with her and not have to worry about too much except getting up every morning for work.

Really, the benefits of this stay with her far outweigh the negative.  She will drive me up the wall on occasion and I may drive her up the other wall, but I can work and get a head start on the next bill that I hope to pay off in 13 months.  I can also look after her and make sure she's doing okay and be there to alert Mom if things go south with her.

I love how Bushie is using this as a defense here.  I will walk and walk some more. 

Please do, Jeff, because just walking should not be a chore. 

[Adam Griffin]

you don't make a 90 year old woman cook and clean for you

Like I said for most of the meals, we will cook together and I will clean up after myself, do my own laundry, and do everything that I would normally do by myself except eating somewhat healthier meals with more frequency, eating less fast food.  I will insist on pitching in on the grocery bill.  She has a very nice yard that I can walk around in so I can start following my doctor's recommendations from my September appointment.  Walmart is just 3 miles away so I will have an indoor place to go walking when it gets too cold outside to walk.  Plus, I can start walking with my pastor again.  I'll live there rent free, because she won't accept my money, but I will pitch in on certain things.  I'll make enough money that I can live a little more comfortably with her and not have to worry about too much except getting up every morning for work.

Really, the benefits of this stay with her far outweigh the negative.  She will drive me up the wall on occasion and I may drive her up the other wall, but I can work and get a head start on the next bill that I hope to pay off in 13 months.  I can also look after her and make sure she's doing okay and be there to alert Mom if things go south with her.

I love how Bushie is using this as a defense here.  I will walk and walk some more. 

Please do, Jeff, because just walking should not be a chore. 

Notice all the subconscious conditional indicators that tell us he's not going to walk or help out, as if prior history weren't a guide?