Update XVIII: 15 Miles From Lunch

[Joe Biden 2020]

Praying the background check isn't detailed/accurate for you, Bushie.

I've never failed a background check or a drug test, yet, and I don't intend to start now. 

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

This is reminding me of the Tiffanye fiasco! "We can talk today, then she said tomorrow, then she hinted maybe next week."

[King]

Your foreground checks, on the other hand...

[World politics is up Schmitt creek]

At the end of the 1,000 years, Satan will be loosed to wreak havoc for a season

Why?

[Joe Biden 2020]

At the end of the 1,000 years, Satan will be loosed to wreak havoc for a season

Why?

Read the book of Revelation.

[Joe Biden 2020]

This is reminding me of the Tiffanye fiasco! "We can talk today, then she said tomorrow, then she hinted maybe next week."

Except this is a lot more serious.   I'm not worried, though.  I just want to get the docs and get my start instructions.

[King]

At the end of the 1,000 years, Satan will be loosed to wreak havoc for a season

Why?

Read the book of Revelation.

I know you're not one to take knowledge gained and apply it in a preventative manner, but if it already says in the book that Satan will break free after 1000 years, you'd think they'd take some precautions to make sure it doesn't happen. No?

[Joe Biden 2020]

At the end of the 1,000 years, Satan will be loosed to wreak havoc for a season

Why?

Read the book of Revelation.

I know you're not one to take knowledge gained and apply it in a preventative manner, but if it already says in the book that Satan will break free after 1000 years, you'd think they'd take some precautions to make sure it doesn't happen. No?

That's not my call.  That's all up to God how He wants to do it.  He won't "break free" as if he has control.  God will be in control at all times just like He has been since the dawn of time.  Satan will be let out for a season, but then he'll be permanently sent to the lake of fire.  I'm just choosing to believe the Bible, God's Holy Word.

[Lief 🗽]

Why would God allow Satan to be let loose and cause havoc?

[Joe Biden 2020]

Why would God allow Satan to be let loose and cause havoc?

That's a question I cannot answer.  You'll have to ask God about that.

[memphis]

Glorious News! Update superfans long ago took control of the content of The Onion. We have now begun our ascent of The New York Times as well.
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/26/opinion/sunday/the-problem-with-positive-thinking.html

[Mechaman]

Bushie, do you have a clear idea of what the Rapture is going to be like?  I remember in Bill Maher's movie some lady said that she will literally be riding to heaven on a white horse.  I mean... to even know the color of the horse...

I don't know exactly, but I believe it will occur at the Battle of Armageddon when the world's army has pushed the Israeli army to the brink of elimination.  Jesus, who is Israel's Savior, will come down at the last moment riding in on a white horse and every Christian around the world will ascend into the air toward Jesus and the White Horse, receive their transformed bodies, and fight with Jesus and defeat the world's army and rescue Israel.  The Christians will then go into heaven without having tasted death, and the world will be ushered into the 1,000 year reign of Jesus when Satan is bound and put in prison for 1,000 years and all the world governments will be overthrown and the entire world will be ruled by Jesus and His church, the ones He raptured.  During that 1,000 years there will be not one war and there really will be peace on earth, good will toward men.  At the end of the 1,000 years, Satan will be loosed to wreak havoc for a season and then be permanently cast into the lake of fire.

I realize it seems like a fairy tale and I may be wrong on some aspects of this, but this is how I envision it to take place.  I'm not going to be silly and claim I'm right and everybody else is wrong, because the only one to know exactly how it will happen is God Himself.

What in the hell?

[World politics is up Schmitt creek]

At the end of the 1,000 years, Satan will be loosed to wreak havoc for a season

Why?

Read the book of Revelation.

I have, multiple times. Don't insult my intelligence.

[Joe Biden 2020]

At the end of the 1,000 years, Satan will be loosed to wreak havoc for a season

Why?

Read the book of Revelation.

I have, multiple times. Don't insult my intelligence.

I'm not.  I'm just telling you the answer to your question is found in the book of Revelation.  It does not tell us why, but that it will happen.

[King]

If it doesn't tell you why in the Book of Revelation, then the answer to his question "Why?" is not in the Book of Revelation...

[Joe Biden 2020]

If it doesn't tell you why in the Book of Revelation, then the answer to his question "Why?" is not in the Book of Revelation...

But, he was asking me why and it's a question I cannot answer.  The best answer you're going to get is in the book of Revelation.

God doesn't tell us the why a lot of times, He just says "trust me".  He's never failed anyone, yet, so there's no reason not to trust Him, but he doesn't tell us why very often.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

The biblical literalism stuff is boring.........please move on.

[King]

"Trust me, bros, after 1000 years of peace and Jesus reign, thus proving Christianity to be 100% true and forcing any rational human to convert, I am going to release Satan and he's going to still deceive people into believe Christianity is a lie somehow. It's going to be totes epic." -- God

[Franzl]

Bushie, since we're discussing religion at the moment...

Why is it you think God will always provide you with material things on Earth? You've said multiple times that just by having faith, God will certainly give you a job, for example. If this is the case, how do you explain....say....the millions of Christians in Africa (who have just as much faith as you) that are starving to death?

Please view this as an honest question in good faith and not as an attack or an attempt to mock your religious beliefs.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Bushie, since we're discussing religion at the moment...

Why is it you think God will always provide you with material things on Earth? You've said multiple times that just by having faith, God will certainly give you a job, for example. If this is the case, how do you explain....say....the millions of Christians in Africa (who have just as much faith as you) that are starving to death?

Please view this as an honest question in good faith and not as an attack or an attempt to mock your religious beliefs.

He will not necessarily always provide a job or material things, but He will take care of me in His own special way.  He does it different for different people.  For some, He provides material things, for some good physical health, for some just the peace of mind that He is all they need.  Certainly, there are many places around the world in need, but that's the point of mission and humanitarian trips.  It doesn't mean they are less "blessed", because a belief in Jesus' sacrificial death on the cross is what determines whether one is blessed.  They realize that material things will all pass away and that the only thing that will matter in the end is their faith in Jesus.  In some ways, people in Africa have more than we do because they're not distracted by the hustle and bustle of Western Society.  We have much to offer them in terms of humanitarian aid.  They have much to teach us about being satisfied with so little.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Bushie, you seem to have fallen for a common misconception. Revelation is the final book of the Christian New Testament, heavily steeped in obscure imagery. It was written by an unknown author during the first century CE.

You seem to be referring to events described in the best-selling apocalyptic thriller Left Behind, co-written by the American evangelical Chistian minister Tim LaHaye in the mid-90s and loosely inspired by imagery described in Revelation. It was made into a direct-to-video movie starring Kirk Cameron in 2000.

Revelation was written by the Apostle John, the same John that was a disciple of Jesus.

I have never read nor seen Left Behind, so this is all personal belief and study from what I read in Revelation.  Although, I do look at www.endtime.com and get a lot of guidance from them.  They are a Pentecostal organization based in Plano, Texas that is all about the end time.  I do not take them as knowing exactly what will happen, but a general guideline of what to expect.  They are the best interpretation of Revelation that I have seen in a long time.

[King]

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[© tweed]

I hesitate to offer this, because Bushie probably has more important things to do than develop a more sophisticated Christian Eschatology, but:


Bushie, if I were able to get you a pdf of the following book, would you read it?

http://www.amazon.com/Revelation-Everyone-New-Testament/dp/066422797X

it's a commentary on Revelation by a highly respected Anglican scholar and priest who does not believe in any of the Rapture/Armageddon stuff that you've laid out in this thread.

[King]

We can't get Bushie to eat broccoli. We aren't going to shake him from his Rapture beliefs.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Anyone who has ever done even a rudimentary real Bible "study" will know (emphasis on the word study).
a) No one knows which 'John' actually wrote Revelation
b) that the story is a coded allegory about the domination of the Roman Empire...