The Wheelbarrow Rolls Ever Forwards

[Filuwaúrdjan]

The carnival has left town amidst much hustle and greater bustle; the festival of democracy is over with its tents dismantled, the carnies gone and the fields bare and empty. While we did not win this election - not that we ever had a chance of doing so - I think it is fair to say that we did rather well. The Al/Hash ticket took seventeen first preference votes. This number is substantially higher, nearly double actually, than what I had thought likely at the start of this campaign. On behalf of myself, of my running mate, and of my Party, I would like to thank - and thank fulsomely - each and every one of the magnificent seventeen and to offer milder (but no less sincere) thanks to all the other votes who gave us high preferences. A message has been sent by the People of Atlasia to its political establishment. And what is that message?

That message is one of rage, one of rage. I am unhappy with Atlasia as it is. The magnificent seventeen are also unhappy. Atlasia is in a state of diseased torpor. It is riddled with parasites. It is stuck in the past - the Nineteenth Century in fact - and is barely aware of that fact. It needs to be purged. And I would like to use this opportunity to say, and to say very clearly indeed, that I intend to stick around to make sure that this actually happens. The Wheelbarrow of Progress rolls forwards endlessly. Those who oppose it shall be crushed.

Death to Fascism!

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

The Pope and I would like to note that there is much room for the Wheelbarrow of Progress on our boat of freedom, which will be unveiled later hopefully.