The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

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[Landslide Lyndon]

Sheer beauty.

Obama doesnt want to sit on Crt for 30 yrs, he wants to open up trade with Cuba and travel to Carribbean. Hispanola and Cuba are beutiful places for him to visit.

[Antonio the Sixth]

DECIMALS

Dem
Clinton - 89%
Sanders - 10%

Rep
Trump, outright - 57.8%
Cruz, outright - 0.9%
Trump, convention - 8.2%
Cruz, convention - 28.5%
Kasich, convention - 3.7%
John P. Yob, convention - 0.1%
Other - 0.8%

[Mike Thick]

DECIMALS

Dem
Clinton - 89%
Sanders - 10%

Rep
Trump, outright - 57.8%
Cruz, outright - 0.9%
Trump, convention - 8.2%
Cruz, convention - 28.5%
Kasich, convention - 3.7%
John P. Yob, convention - 0.1%
Other - 0.8%

That is deserving of it's own post, separate from the rest of his data set.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

He's on the roll

If its Clinton, 2X prez, due to the changing demographics,  of 20% Latino, 13% Blk and 60% white, and the way the SW is expanding, FL may become a lean Dem soon, and I hope she wins FL.

[Mr. Morden]

He's on the roll

If its Clinton, 2X prez, due to the changing demographics,  of 20% Latino, 13% Blk and 60% white, and the way the SW is expanding, FL may become a lean Dem soon, and I hope she wins FL.

I want to know what a 2X prez is.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

He's on the roll

If its Clinton, 2X prez, due to the changing demographics,  of 20% Latino, 13% Blk and 60% white, and the way the SW is expanding, FL may become a lean Dem soon, and I hope she wins FL.

I want to know what a 2X prez is.

Judging from the context, a two-termer.

[Antonio the Sixth]

He's on the roll

If its Clinton, 2X prez, due to the changing demographics,  of 20% Latino, 13% Blk and 60% white, and the way the SW is expanding, FL may become a lean Dem soon, and I hope she wins FL.

I want to know what a 2X prez is.

Judging from the context, a two-termer.

Introducing the new President 2X, now with 100% more policies, 100% more speeches, and 100% more Turkey-pardons!

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

obvious context needed:

He should move to the FL panhandle - they evidently like him there.

[Ban my account ffs!]

He's on the roll

If its Clinton, 2X prez, due to the changing demographics,  of 20% Latino, 13% Blk and 60% white, and the way the SW is expanding, FL may become a lean Dem soon, and I hope she wins FL.

I want to know what a 2X prez is.

Chris Christie, in his dreams.

[Higgs]

pangaea is breeking up

whats yuor reection if this is the map

Pretty much all the posts in that thread are hilarious

[sportydude]

Introducing the new President 2X, now with 100% more policies, 100% more speeches, and 100% more Turkey-pardons!

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Crossposted to the Deluge

Who's going to turn Catholic in the US? The US is far too polarized between SJW liberals and conservative evangelicals.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=232694.0

[DavidB.]

LOL. This post is bothering me and is violating my rights to not laugh out loud when I am writing a paper. Please leave the forum foreverz.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Context:

Where is the 'maybe' option?

[IceSpear]

He cares a lot more about the future of the Democratic party than Hillary. Her supporters are doing the best to shrink the party. Bernie brings a broader coalition, as evidenced by his superior showing in general election polls.

Ah, yes... Bernie's "broader coalition." The one that's getting over 3 million fewer votes than Hillary is. But, it is true. Bernie has a diverse set of supporters. From the blindingly pale to the merely pasty,  from the black Irish to ginger daywalkers... 18 year olds, 19 year olds, even 22 year olds! Truly, Bernie is building a colorful millennial whitebow of diversity.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

[Joe Republic]

context

No, I'm not surprised because he is one of our best and most intelligent posters.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I've been to Austria... though it is unlikely that it fully exists in our dimension.  It seems to be populated by mountain dwarves and children who smoke cigarettes and old ladies who want to punish everyone.  Everyone else are Asian tourists that take pictures of elaborate landscapes sculpted and maintained by said mountain dwarves wearing leather shorts with long socks and billowy white shirts and fedoras with feathers in them. 

Often times you will find an odd juxtaposition where one mountain dwarf will insist Austria was not responsible for Nazism while another will boast about being from the same town as the Fuehrer.

They also try to convince of you of a great falsehood:

That Beethoven was Austrian and
that Hitler was German

While the mountain dwarves are generally friendlier and jollier than the neighboring hot and sour Piefkes, they often have ill developed senses of humor... never really getting past the potty humor phase.  Sarcasm is lost on them while a poop joke will do wonders for your social standing within the country.

Vienna is a beautiful, world class city, built by the mountain dwarves but is generally inhabited by the grumpier ones.

I hope this clears things up for you guys. 

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Twenty years ago my favorite aninmated thing was, without the slightest doubt, the Dexter's Laboratory.

F**k I feel old.

that's the one about the serial killer, right?

That was a prequel.

Redhead? Check.
Works in a lab? Check.
Sister with a name starting with D? Check.

OMG

[Antonio the Sixth]

Err please use the correct nomenclature, it's not HL, it's LWIH (Language which is horrible).

[This account no longer in use.]

Not intentionally hilarious, but still.

Seattle is possibly the most liberal major city in the country, with SF and Portland being its two closest rivals.  We elected a legitimately evil "Trotskyite Socialist" Kshama Sawant to our city council, the far-far-far-far-left newspaper everyone reads, The Stranger, is run almost exclusively by gay communists,  and we have a giant statue of Lenin.  My precinct had a bunch of hippies with dreadlocks and those organic-store purses that are made to look like they were sewn together from patches, and there were a couple millenials in brown jackets standing together with hammer and sickle pins and red star hats.

I don't think Hillary is going to win this one.

Another interesting observation from the caucus:  the main argument the Bernie people had left was that Bernie beats Trump in the polls by more than Hillary, so he is the safe choice.  I think I heard that argument, and mostly a recitation of some poll that apparently had Hillary losing to Trump by a point, about a dozen times and not much else.  All the Bernie speakers had lists of talking points or were reading their speeches off of papers; the Clinton people came unprepared.  Anyway, it seems like an odd argument to make; I don't think anyone, including Team Sanders themselves, actually believes that Sanders is a stronger general election candidate than Hillary, unless they've been stuck in their bubble for too long.

[SUSAN CRUSHBONE]

Not intentionally hilarious, but still.

Seattle is possibly the most liberal major city in the country, with SF and Portland being its two closest rivals.  We elected a legitimately evil "Trotskyite Socialist" Kshama Sawant to our city council, the far-far-far-far-left newspaper everyone reads, The Stranger, is run almost exclusively by gay communists,  and we have a giant statue of Lenin.  My precinct had a bunch of hippies with dreadlocks and those organic-store purses that are made to look like they were sewn together from patches, and there were a couple millenials in brown jackets standing together with hammer and sickle pins and red star hats.

I don't think Hillary is going to win this one.

Another interesting observation from the caucus:  the main argument the Bernie people had left was that Bernie beats Trump in the polls by more than Hillary, so he is the safe choice.  I think I heard that argument, and mostly a recitation of some poll that apparently had Hillary losing to Trump by a point, about a dozen times and not much else.  All the Bernie speakers had lists of talking points or were reading their speeches off of papers; the Clinton people came unprepared.  Anyway, it seems like an odd argument to make; I don't think anyone, including Team Sanders themselves, actually believes that Sanders is a stronger general election candidate than Hillary, unless they've been stuck in their bubble for too long.

tag yourself i'm the legitimately evil "trotskyite socialist"

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

KalWidget only has one potato.  Only a loser has only one potato.  I have more potatoes than anybody else.  My potatoes are of the highest quality.  They're the best potatoes you'll ever eat.  

Now as for the question at hand... that place is a disaster, and I'll tell you why.  It's a disaster because it's full of low energy, wasteful people.  Why are they wasteful?  because they're supporting Hillary for president.  She'll probably be in jail by the time the election comes around.  Supporting that is a waste of everybody's time and definitely won't make America great again.  I'll make America great again.  And I won't have to do it from jail.