The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Interesting piece of sexuality in the Arab world.

Useless without hands-on experience.

[World politics is up Schmitt creek]

The ecommunjst is q paper written n by slackjawed slopeheaded inbred public schol 20 soethings fresh out of getting spanked by thrr pervy master at Oxbridge so this Fralnkyl aijt no great surprise all thinga consisted by the standards of these stupid 'liveral bastard cints

[🦀🎂🦀🎂]

Status quo remains on the Crt until 2020 with Kennedy retires and the House and Senate stay in GOP hands and tax penalty removed from hardship of the ACA of the working poor.

Immigration reform in a boarder fense.  All passed by 2020.

[White Trash]

This lame and unfunny bit at trolling managed to make it three pages because so many took the bait and gave 100% serious replies. OMG.

Your sexism, which has been on display time and time again this election season, really disgusts me.  Yeah, your hated woman lost, we get it.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!! Get your hate speech off this board! How dare you assume her gender? You f***ing white male.


What the  did you just ing say about me, you little HP? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Atlasia, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Atlas After Dark, and I have over 300 confirmed alts. I am trained in moderate hero warfare and I’m the top sock puppet in the entire forum. You are nothing to me but just another HP. I will wipe you the  out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this baord, mark my ing words. You think you can get away with saying that sh**t to me over the Internet? Think again, HP. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of trolls across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, HP. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your account. You’re ing dead, HP. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can shill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my sock LLR. Not only am I extensively trained in Fantasy Politics, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Forum Community and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the internet, you little shill. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “sh**tposting" was about to bring down upon you, maybe you thought twice about trolling. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn horrible person. I will sh**t fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ing dead, HP.

[LLR]

This lame and unfunny bit at trolling managed to make it three pages because so many took the bait and gave 100% serious replies. OMG.

Your sexism, which has been on display time and time again this election season, really disgusts me.  Yeah, your hated woman lost, we get it.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!! Get your hate speech off this board! How dare you assume her gender? You f***ing white male.


What the  did you just ing say about me, you little HP? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Atlasia, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Atlas After Dark, and I have over 300 confirmed alts. I am trained in moderate hero warfare and I’m the top sock puppet in the entire forum. You are nothing to me but just another HP. I will wipe you the  out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this baord, mark my ing words. You think you can get away with saying that sh**t to me over the Internet? Think again, HP. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of trolls across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, HP. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your account. You’re ing dead, HP. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can shill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my sock LLR. Not only am I extensively trained in Fantasy Politics, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Forum Community and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the internet, you little shill. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “sh**tposting" was about to bring down upon you, maybe you thought twice about trolling. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn horrible person. I will sh**t fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ing dead, HP.

Dafuq

[White Trash]

This lame and unfunny bit at trolling managed to make it three pages because so many took the bait and gave 100% serious replies. OMG.

Your sexism, which has been on display time and time again this election season, really disgusts me.  Yeah, your hated woman lost, we get it.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!! Get your hate speech off this board! How dare you assume her gender? You f***ing white male.


What the  did you just ing say about me, you little HP? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Atlasia, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Atlas After Dark, and I have over 300 confirmed alts. I am trained in moderate hero warfare and I’m the top sock puppet in the entire forum. You are nothing to me but just another HP. I will wipe you the  out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this baord, mark my ing words. You think you can get away with saying that sh**t to me over the Internet? Think again, HP. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of trolls across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, HP. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your account. You’re ing dead, HP. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can shill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my sock LLR. Not only am I extensively trained in Fantasy Politics, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Forum Community and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the internet, you little shill. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “sh**tposting" was about to bring down upon you, maybe you thought twice about trolling. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn horrible person. I will sh**t fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ing dead, HP.

Dafuq

I thought that was the funniest part of the whole thing.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

1776:

Lief: Dopey Washington and the deplorable colonials are traitors. Sad! King George has the best economic plan for the colonies!1!!

Honest Abe: WASHINGTON will CRUSH the redcoats.

Gustaf: hahaha, no. Get out you traitor.

TNVolunteer: Sorry but Washington has no chance of taking New Hampshire. We have so many angry loyalists up here, New Hampshire is titanium red.

Sprouts Farmers Market X: Washington and Benedict Arnold make the best team. I almost wish Benedict Arnold could lead the Continental Army!

Lief: George III pls drone this thread.

Honest Abe: Low energy!

Lief: I swear if the "Patriots" (lol), get anywhere close to winning (they won't), I AM OFFICIALLY MOVING TO CANADA!

Honest Abe: Then the continental army will take over Canada and sink the Royal Navy!

Rest of Atlas: In your dreams.

Honest Abe: I'm telling you, this ain't over. WASHINGTON will win by 1783.

Little Big Planet:

You must be logged in to read this quote.

evergreen: sorry dëplorable, the hëssians will make quick work of you

President Johnson: Little Geo lost the war when he retreated to Valley Forge. Sad!

Little Big Planet:

You must be logged in to read this quote.

1780:

Lief: Benedict Arnold is #NeverWashington. Sad!


1781:

Atlas Democrats: NOOOOO! how did the Americans win? I literally can't even now!

ChairmanSanchez: haha, you lost you loyalist pinko-coats!

Green Line: We will still win! This isn't over!1!11!! #GodSaveTheKing

Lief: Screw this, I'm of to Canada. Enjoy your "freedom", idiots...

Tender Branson: ahaha, told you. old King George could have never won this war, he's such a moron.

Atlas Democrats: REEEEE, shut up Tendies!

1783:

Honest Abe: The Treaty of Paris has been signed! America is officially free!

Green Line: Maybe KING GEORGE, can come back in 1812! I'm sure of it!

jfern: Here's how Be(rnie)nedict can still win the War of Independence! If we phonebank enough we can overturn the Treaty of Paris.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Nah. Jesus got treated far more harshly than me.

[AtorBoltox]

His team out worked Hillary's team. It's just that nobody noticed what was unfolding before their eyes.

Lest we forget that in these days the internet has come to dominate mainstream life. It permeates all aspects of society. We're constantly on social media, visiting our favorite sites, oftentimes enjoying our hobbies that are conveyed through the internet. The internet was a powerful tool for Obama in 2008 and 2012. Trump saw this. He studied it. He conquered it.

Many people will laugh when I say this but it's true: 4chan and The_Donald won Trump this election. Hindsight is 2020, so we might have laughed at all the glorious memes that have surfaced this election cycle, but we shouldn't have laughed at them. For our laughter contained within us the very naïveté that was the root of our own destruction. We overlooked the laughter that brought joy to many. The memes that brought hope to the disaffected working class of this country. The memes that have given us the very man who has promised to deliver us to heaven on Earth.

Memes will be studied from henceforth. We must understand how they can mobilize millions of people through the internet to rally behind a candidate like Donald J. Trump for he wouldn't have succeeded without the dank memes that flooded the web. The dank memes which packaged so much of the greatness of 2016 into one candidate that blessed us with his presence: Donald J. Trump.

These forums were utilized. The users that occupy 4chan and Reddit put their collective weaponized autism together to spring across the finish line before anybody even noticed. 2016 was already over in 2015. We just didn't see it til now. When we look back at this election, we must remember, the internet is the platform where memes now decide elections. Trump stopped being a joke when the memes surfaced. The very laughter we had at these memes embodied the hope that so many Americans put into Donald J. Trump.

Now it is his turn to deliver to the American people.

[World politics is up Schmitt creek]

Came here to post that.

[SUSAN CRUSHBONE]

"cuckslayer"

[AtorBoltox]

'Collective weaponized autism' is my new favourite phrase.

[Cuckslayer]

His team out worked Hillary's team. It's just that nobody noticed what was unfolding before their eyes.

Lest we forget that in these days the internet has come to dominate mainstream life. It permeates all aspects of society. We're constantly on social media, visiting our favorite sites, oftentimes enjoying our hobbies that are conveyed through the internet. The internet was a powerful tool for Obama in 2008 and 2012. Trump saw this. He studied it. He conquered it.

Many people will laugh when I say this but it's true: 4chan and The_Donald won Trump this election. Hindsight is 2020, so we might have laughed at all the glorious memes that have surfaced this election cycle, but we shouldn't have laughed at them. For our laughter contained within us the very naïveté that was the root of our own destruction. We overlooked the laughter that brought joy to many. The memes that brought hope to the disaffected working class of this country. The memes that have given us the very man who has promised to deliver us to heaven on Earth.

Memes will be studied from henceforth. We must understand how they can mobilize millions of people through the internet to rally behind a candidate like Donald J. Trump for he wouldn't have succeeded without the dank memes that flooded the web. The dank memes which packaged so much of the greatness of 2016 into one candidate that blessed us with his presence: Donald J. Trump.

These forums were utilized. The users that occupy 4chan and Reddit put their collective weaponized autism together to spring across the finish line before anybody even noticed. 2016 was already over in 2015. We just didn't see it til now. When we look back at this election, we must remember, the internet is the platform where memes now decide elections. Trump stopped being a joke when the memes surfaced. The very laughter we had at these memes embodied the hope that so many Americans put into Donald J. Trump.

Now it is his turn to deliver to the American people.

Thank you for the recognition ✌🏻️

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Way too religious for Bernie, and too happy as well. A song about Bernie needs to conjure an image of a piece of burnt toast trying to perform CPR on a dying giraffe. Something unexpected trying to achieve the improbable.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

There actually has been a rumor that Tammy Baldwin is likely to announce a switch before the new Congress is sworn in.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Kind of an inside joke, but awesome nonetheless

Writing the end of turn, and boy, are we in for some surprises. Without revealing much, at least a player is reach an end game.

Well, RIP me. FF.

RIP Envir Pasha, little did he know all the Sultan's poetry was full of coded messages calling for a coup.

RIP the Japanese Government, assassinated by radical pacifist republicans in the Navy.

RIP Chaing Kai-Shek, taken out by Neo-Boxers angry at his overtly pro-European policies.

RIP President de la Rocque, lost his election to a leftist poet (actually Julian Besteiro in a wig.)

RIP Alexander Kerensky, it turns out the Tsar really DID prefer Kolchak and was waiting to kill you like the traitor-rebel you were.

RIP Churchill, fell asleep during peace negotiations so often a diplomat offed him out of spite.

RIP FDR, throw out of office after repealing MacArthur's sensible and popular economic plans was just too much for the army to handle.

RIP Victor Emmanuel III, usually the Pope believes in non-violence...but for you he made a special exception.

RIP Von Papen, dead after crack Bulgarian troops easily invaded Germany and captured Berlin just before the ceasefire took hold.

[LLR]

We could stop being so politically correct and just tell people to go die.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Jesus doesn't save. In 9 out of 10 clinical trials, Jesus failed to save the patient from their disease.

[The Dowager Mod]

There actually has been a rumor that Tammy Baldwin is likely to announce a switch before the new Congress is sworn in.

I like how this seemed to go over everyone's head. lol

[Virginiá]

Context: You've been elected the 45th President Of The United States?

1. Decisive foreign policy. I would grab China by the pussy and not release my firm grip until they agree not to take any more American jobs. I imagine the China would scream and beg for mercy. I would then lessen the grip, but keep my hand on in case they decide to screw us in the future.

2. In response to world opinion I would allow some Muslim refugees to the United States, establishing a mandatory waterboarding before admission, so they would know not to mess with us.

3. I would build a large and beautiful wall in the style of Taj Mahal. Then I'd declare bankruptcy so bad hombres, or the investors from the south, won't get their monies back. Serves them right.

4. Unlike my cowardly predecessors. I'll accept Taiwan's friend request on facebook. The great nation such as ours can friend and defriend without having to explain itself to some bad Maos.

[Santander]

The War on Christmas continues! Sad!

[SUSAN CRUSHBONE]

Farewell! The Democrats will be far better off without the worlds sweatiest weather vane.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Who cares, we will all die from Ebola soon (according to Beet).

Sorry Beet, but I couldn't resist.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

What's up with Pennsylvania being represented entirely by males?

The women aren't angry enough.

[Crumpets]