The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Mr. Morden]

I'm sorry, but this is amazing:

Dinosaurs were here when the continents were connected and they came from Africa across to South America.

Ice Ages happens and mammals began to form and dwarfism from a chimpanzee happen"per darwin." Lucy, a black woman came alive in Africa. And the cave man came from continent of Europe.

That is absolutely beautiful.  It is poetry of the highest order.

I think it is the ultimate miracle that the human race is the product of a threesome between a European cave man, an African black woman, and a chimpanzee carrying a dwarfism virus.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Context

"Would you live in a house built before Vatican 2? I wouldn't."

"My King is alive and he sits on his earthly throne in Rome."

"So I've been self-flagellating lately and I had this thought ... "

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Voter #652 BRTD      YaBB God ★★★★★ Posts: 78903

Would you ever buy a horse born during the Lincoln years? « on: March 14, 1860 at 12:43:59 am » No. My current horse is a 1852. My next one will no doubt be born during the Pierce Presidency, the Golden Age of America. I will never buy a 1861-1865 horse. Once I swap out my current one for probably around a 1855/1856 or so, I will relish in knowing that the Glorious Ruler reigned while it was conceived, a relic of the time before the Dark Age Always will be the President to me:

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

During Falklands War:

"Should British programs be banned from US Television? I was triggered on behalf of my Argentinian friends when I saw a Monty Python's Flying Circus rerun on TV yesterday."

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

He would probably talk about his desire to get sexually dominated by Pope Joan.

[Xing]

Great comment! I'm a true Nancy Boy today.

[BuckeyeNut]

Context: Talk about primarying Pelosi.

LOL. You realize her seat is effectively feudal, right?

[Unconditional Surrender Truman]

Context:

My pick for Undersecretary of Urban Development is Frederick Douglass! Folks, he's gonna do a tremendous jobs with the blacks, believe me, and I know because I love the blacks, and the blacks love me. He did a tremendous job building underground railroads, all about jobs!

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Southern Gothic didn't outright vote Trump.

Actually, he did.

But SG doesn't have blind loyalty to the party and accepts that it's not perfect for him and has found his own way. It would have to be somebody who thought the Democratic Party was still the party of white Southerners and had an obsession with that or something.

I don't think SG voted for Trump.

I know for a fact that he did.

Did you go into the voting booth with him?

The post before it was:

Yeah I ended up voting for Trump. I have my regrets about it, but it is what it is.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Ugh.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Scarlet Descent omegascarlet YaBB God ★★★★★ Posts: 1609

Re: What would a republican version/mirror/whatever of Alice Scarlet be like? « on: February 04, 2017, 11:07:00 am »Who are you?

Cyan Risin' gammacyan YaBB God ★★★★★ Posts: 1609

Re: What would a republican version/mirror/whatever of Alice Scarlet be like? « on: February 04, 2017, 11:09:23 am » Who are you? I'm you but stronger.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Scarlet Descent omegascarlet YaBB God ★★★★★ Posts: 1609

Re: What would a republican version/mirror/whatever of Alice Scarlet be like? « on: February 04, 2017, 11:07:00 am »Who are you?

Cyan Risin' gammacyan YaBB God ★★★★★ Posts: 1609

Re: What would a republican version/mirror/whatever of Alice Scarlet be like? « on: February 04, 2017, 11:09:23 am » Who are you? I'm you but stronger.

How does one make those?

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Quote the following:

Code:

[table][tr][td][color=navy][b]Display name[/b][/color]
[size=8pt]Username
Title[/size]
[color=#FFBF00]★[/color][size=8pt]
Posts: Number


[img]https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/avatars/Party/P_ST.gif[/img][/td][td][b][color=navy]Thread Title[/color][/b]
[size=8pt]« [b]on:[/b] time »[/size][hr]
Post[/td][/tr][/table][hr]

Fill in generics. Example:

Peebs YaBB God ★★★★★ Posts: 3599

Re: The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival « on: February 04, 2017, 03:49:01 pm »Quote the following: Code: [table][tr][td][color=navy][b]Display name[/b][/color] [size=8pt]Username Title[/size] [color=#FFBF00]★[/color][size=8pt] Posts: Number [img]https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/avatars/Party/P_ST.gif[/img][/td][td][b][color=navy]Thread Title[/color][/b] [size=8pt]« [b]on:[/b] time »[/size][hr] Post[/td][/tr][/table][hr] Fill in generics. Example:

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Thanks. Maybe we'll get this ability in the next forum update.

[Virginiá]

Context: Pelosi: "We're capitalists, and that's just the way it is."

Why is one ahead of us and the other behind, is what I'm getting it. The metaphor doesn't make sense.

We must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

[heatcharger]

These are always gold:

ExtremeDixiecrat YaBB God ★★★★★ Posts: 3841

Issue with one particular moderator « on: February 05, 1958, 06:33:10 pm » There is one moderator who keeps deleting or changing every post that I post remotely related to my lack of belief in civil rights being a real thing in their section. You must be logged in to read this quote. No sane person would argue that that post was discriminatory or hateful.  And, it was very on-topic to the thread.  I'm 99.9% sure what moderator it was, but I won't say anything specifically since I don't know for a fact, but this is getting to the point of censoring perspectives that you don't agree with (I would bet 40-50% of America would agree with me that civil rights isn't a real thing at all and/or a mental illness).  Some moderators have gotten to the point of just censoring opinions they disagree with. THURMOND/TALMADGE or TALMADGE/THURMOND 1960 or 1964!! Political Matrix Score: Economic: +9.81 Social: +9.04 Political Compass Score: Economic: +9.9 Right (+0.1) Libertarian/Authoritarian: +2.8 Authoritarian (-0.9) Foreign Policy: +6.8 Neo-Con (-0.5) Cultural: +8.7 Conservative (+0.9) No filibuster-proof majority is coming in 1958, like it or not!

[Xing]

Poor Tom Brady.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

Just when you think he's peaked, he comes up with something even more hilarious!!

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand as well, will be reelected, but if a GOP star like Susan Lucci enters the election, it's Lean/Likely D.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

And she got elected to the Senate in a landslide with a margin that was hundreds of times as much as the 1974 Senate race.

Context

[Türkisblau]

Just when you think he's peaked, he comes up with something even more hilarious!!

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand as well, will be reelected, but if a GOP star like Susan Lucci enters the election, it's Lean/Likely D.

Who the  is Susan Lucci? I think Bill Mitchell has more star power than whoever this is.

[Virginiá]

Context: House just voted to gut Election Asistance Commission+public funding 4 elections

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xi22Vkie7EM

I know it's just a link, and maybe influenced heavily by my love of old Simpsons episodes, but that made me laugh bigly.

[kcguy]

Who the  is Susan Lucci? I think Bill Mitchell has more star power than whoever this is.

I assume this is a reference to the soap opera actress.

Her big claim to fame was that every year she would be nominated for an Emmy, and every year someone else would win.  (Sportscasters would refer to <insert some famous name here> as the "Susan Lucci of the tennis world" for losing at Wimbledon again.)

She finally won on her 19th nomination.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

No, but this song reminds me of Jim Webb.

[MT Treasurer]

Think about it. Democrats may be bitterly divided in 2020. Andrew Cuomo? Too moderate. Kamala Harris? Too green. Cory Booker? Obama 2.0. Elizabeth Warren? Another academic. Bill de Blasio? Too far left. Tulsi Gabbard? Too compromised with President Bashar al-Assad of Syria. Former New York City Controller Bill Thompson would be a good, sane, moderate compromise candidate against Trump. Why?
-Experienced. Served in government all of his career
-African-American moderate. Could appeal to Jewish voters.
-Knows the big city media. Ran for mayor two times against proven candidates (Bloomberg, De Blasio)
-Chairman of the City University of New York (CUNY). Understands college and education issues.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/23/nyregion/thompson-seeks-jews-votes-for-new-york-mayor.html

http://observer.com/2013/08/hasidic-power-broker-promises-bill-thompson-11000-votes/

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/09/nyregion/new-york-governor-andrew-cuomo.html

[Mr. Morden]

Basically we need a younger Joe Biden who is ideally either a woman or a minority or both.

Visual approximation: